I get by with a little help from my friends

"If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time, you've dreamed a thousand dreams none seem to stick in your mind, two points for honesty it must make you sad that nobody cares at all...Nobody cares at all, they never cared at all." ~Right before starting this blog, my itunes had this song pop up first on party shuffle. It fits the feelings I've been having recently pretty perfectly to a few people. Wow guster is a wonderful mind reader.


I don't know about this whole break thing, but I'm liking the fact of being lazy and sleeping whenever and where ever I want. It can be boring seeing the same thing over and over each day but I'll take that over doing work and school. I have been thinking a lot too, on things that have occurred in the past semester. I really am having a hard time with certain friendships that I have. I know what is wrong and I need to fix it but it's something that I can't really do on my own. I wish that people would think outside of themselves. I guess this is a hard thing for me to do being that I have been raised to think about people other than myself and how my actions really do affect not just me but other people. As my mom puts it the ripple effect. I had a great conversation with my mom tonight on things that were really bugging me. It definitely helped get out things that I couldn't bring up to other people, people who don't know the whole situation, my mom does. It was good to get an honest opinion. I know she's going to let me know if I'm just being crazy or not.

It ultimately comes down to that I'm in a different place in my life and when dealing with others who don't know what they want it just makes it worse for me. I need people around me who know what they want and are going for it, not people who are aimlessly wandering around in life hoping to get something out of it. I need a challenge where as right now I'm definitely not getting that. I'm getting sucked into the negative energy and it's really bringing me down, emotionally and physically. I can tell. But I'm not that kind of person to let it get to me, I'm going to stick up for what I believe is right and the truth, NO MATTER WHAT. I wish people around me knew who they were and didn't have to change who they are depending on the people around them. I know who I am and I'm not changing that I realize that I've done a lot of growing up very fast and to be real honest I'm happy I am where I am right now.

I hate fakeness, I really do. I hate the fact that two of my roomies call each other all the time and talk and I feel as though I'm left out. I have yet to receive any contact from them over break. I am nothing to them it seems, at least not in the friendship level. A funny thing is that less than 24 hours after one of them had left to go home for break the other one had to call and talk to her for a good half an hour. Seriously kids you haven't been gone from each other that long I think you'll be okay. I hate how they say that they really care when I know they don't. I know that most of the times the words they say are just that, words, they have no real intention of backing each other up. I don't get it why am I not the best friend, there is such thing as more than one best friend in your life. I'm pretty sure there have been a lot of times that I have been there for them and supported them like a best friend, but maybe that means nothing to them. I notice things, I notice a lot of things that most people don't. I notice the way that the two of them act together and then the way they act towards me and my other roomie. I feel a distance starting between us, and it's not going to be good. It's going to make me pull away and move on to bigger and better things and leave them behind. I guess it comes down to the fact that I see through they're fakeness.

Things I've learned over break are that your TRUE friends are always going to be there for you, even if you don't talk to them on the phone all the time. It was so awesome because the first day I was back here in E.C. I got to have a great conversation with my good buddy Tim. I really missed that kid and I hadn't really talked to him all that much during the semester just a minute or two. It was like we hadn't even spend a semester not talking it was like everything as it was back in the day. It's a good feeling know you'll always have certain people in your life have your back. Even thinking about it now gives a smile to my face. Also being back here with my girls, the girls in my life I can tell anything to just makes things so much better. I love those girls to death and I really can't imagine my life without them. They challenge me on everything, we challenge each other, and I know that no matter what we are always going to be like this. I really miss that connection I have with the girls in GB, I don't have that, because I know I'll get judged on the things I say or things that have happened. Being with the girls makes me think about things in my life, and relationships.



Climb up over the top and survey the state of the soul
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control of it inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths that you have inside of you...

Finals week could it be any better?

In the obvious reason of my post, avoiding my finals I'm giving you all the great chance of hearing the positive side of finals believe me they are good!

I know finals are already here and that today might make you dread the rest of the finals you have to come in the next 3 long and crucial days. But the most obvious reason of having finals is that once you are done, you never have to do that class again. No more Chem no more sociology and no more foundations of western culture (my personal hate). No you aren't going to fail the class so stop telling yourself this, you'll do just fine. Quit telling everyone that you are going to especially when the people in your class know you're going to throw off the whole curve. If you think about it finishing your final and handing it in is the perfect time for you to do something you normally wouldn't or couldn't have done. You could go up to your professor who you really weren't a fan of and dump your hot chocolate all over him and tell him how he was a douche bag for making you take that test the day after thanksgiving break. Can't do it? Then when you turn in the test say here's your answer key. Too weak in the knees still? If you're still too chicken shit to do that just say thanks professor I'm looking forward to your class in the spring. I personally would like to just kick my foundations professor in the junk and walk away but that might get me in jail...

The second best part of finals is that this is your time to finally ask out that guy or girl in your class that was the reason behind you going not because of the awesome lectures. Go ask that person out what are they going to do? Say no, you're never possibly going to see them again, no harm no foul. Take them out for a finals break drink or something sweet like that. And if all fails and she says no you've got all Christmas break to feel like a dumb ass.

In desperate times, calls for desperate measures. A way to help with you anxiety and sleep deprivation is a chemical boost. Some are better than others. Even I have resorted back to the good old days of drinking my pop and enjoying my caffeine boost for that hour and a half. That red bull is going to do you a hell of good if you can't stay awake to study your boring crap. Many say stay away from the alcohol this week but I say why not go for it. This quite possibly could lead to the other form of stress reliever, sexual activity. But don't go too overboard with this one it could cause many problems down the road. Hey maybe it could even be with that cute person from the class mentioned above.

Finally you can really take the challenge intellectually on finals week. Sure you haven't been to class since the first week and you got at D on your midterms....I don't care. You can learn the entire course with 3 dews and a full 24 hour cram before the test. Just think about this one, remember when you were a freshman and thought you had to go to every class. All the test prep you did was definitely less than 24 hours per class. That means for the rest of the time you did jack shit. So if you really are stuck in this situation you've got time. You can do it, but it might help if you have the notes from someone so you have some sort of idea.

So that's it guys remember study with a buddy if you can then if they are a hot buddy you can go relieve some of your other stresses. Just kidding I don't promote that kind of stuff. I just wrote this since my hand hurt from writing my stupid physics definitions. Remember Ben and jerry can be you best friend as well as chocolate. Sleep is always a good thing to but remember to set your alarm that would suck!


With all this being said enjoy the worst week of the semester, you'll make it through like the rest of us. Enjoy your break it's less than a week away!

I need my b-dubbs hos.

"someday I wish upon a star wake up where the clouds are far behind me where trouble melts like lemon drops."


It's been awhile...sorry. It's been busy around here trying to get everything done before finals next week. I'm definitely ready for my Christmas break. I need to get out of here and try to get things together. I'm definitely been struggling with my family moving and if I'm going with them or not. Savoy was talking to me about this and said what if I have done all the growing possible here in Green bay and this is your time to go out and grow some more. It was put so great. Then when talking about it with other people I was asked if I liked it here and of course I do, they then said don't go and fuck something up that you like for something you have no idea on how it'll be. The thing is I don't know what to do about the living situation. If I want to be an RA, live on campus with the girls again, or off campus with god knows who. I really don't want to live on campus during the year and I need to find a place to stay here during the summer. I could go and live with the girls rotating houses each week back in eau Claire but I couldn't do that to them and their families. I guess I just need a sign for me to either stay or go and I wish that sign would be here right now....

I need to have a good weekend or I'm not going to be a happy camper. I need to go out on a good note or making me come back isn't going to be that fun. I'm really wishing I had my girls back home here with me, they'd know what to do with everything going on in my life. I really have started to miss them. So I'm going to listen to my e.c. girls jams and hope everything will be okay....I'll see them soon.

The party in your pants

"She is the prom queen i'm in the marching band, she is a cheerleader, im sitting in the stands, she gets the top bunk i'm sleepin' on the floor, she's miss america and i'm just the girl next door."~Saving Jane

Since I'm too lazy to recap this weekend, it definately had it's ups and downs. over all though it was a pretty sweet time and I enjoyed myself. I need more weekends where I'm having the time of my life, it makes my decision to stay here easier than if I were to leave.

Today when I was at the nic I was talking about North Carolina and my good friend Katelyn had no idea about me moving (I forget who I tell and who I don't tell...) I told her the options that I had and that it looks like I'm almost for sure not going to be here next year. She almost started to cry which shocked me. My friggin' roomies haven't even cried or acted sad, the ones who I thought cared about me the most. Which made me feel like this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought just leaving everything behind. But Katelyn this girl who I barely see and only talk to over the internet when I have time was about to cry. It shows how much of an impact you really have on people even if you don't think that you do. It really made me feel loved. It made my day better so I owe one to Katelyn, Thank you dear.

I need sleep and i've got two tests to deal with tomorrow wish me luck...

Granola and physics

"A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everbody is crazy."~charles manson


Stupid people piss me off, enough said no excuses. Today during my hour and a half physic lecture I was sitting by myself like I normally do. I don't know or have gotten to know anyone that I sit by. I do know a few people from my discussion group but other than that during lecture I'm on my own, I like it that way. Well I sit near the back in a class of about 80 students, there is this one group of people who sit right in front of me every day. There is this girl from russia, and her boyfriend (that's a whole other story right there) this kenyan and two friends. Well everyday they walk into class a half an hour late, which makes me mad. Okay yeah here's where you think i'm a nerd and love school, that's not the case but when it's everyday why not take the class at a diffrent time, it's not that hard to wake up at 9:15 to get to your 9:30 class. Believe me I know I have to be at an 8 am class right before I can do it, they definately can. but back to my story. The one kenyan girl is the only one that makes it on time to the class normally with her plastic bag from walmart full of chicken wings wrapped in tinfoil and some other nasty shit normal people wouldn't eat. She saves 5 spots for her friends that come in late. The class gets pretty full and saving those seats gets pretty annoying to everyone else when they would like a place to sit other than the floor.

Once they all get in and settled, they think they are god's gift to physics and know everything and we should be worshiping them because they are the best. They make it verbally known too. They make tons of noise talking to each other during the class about things I don't care about. Except when by the rare chance they don't know what's going on they happen ask questions. No big deal right? Not this case they ask every possible thing about they're problem to get what they want done. Which takes another good 15 minutes out of a class. I hate that, ask her after class or go to her office hours that would be nice. But here's the kicker folks...

On Tuesday I was opening up my breakfast granola bar not making much noise what the professer was talking, the kenyan looks around to find the noise and then comes to look me directly in my eye and says SHHHHHHHHH. A harsh shhhh not a quiet dainty hurry up and open it shhh a SHHHHH. Like I was interuppting her learning process of stuff she already knows. She's the one with the shit wrapped in tinfoil, like that doesn't make a noise when she opens it. She then says to me, "Maybe you should wait to open the rest till after class." What did I do? I kept opening and eating it, and then guess what else i did. I grabbed another one of my granola bars and opened it as loud as possible just to piss her off.

So the moral of the story here is that if you always should have a back up granola bar to open up as loud as you can just to piss off a bitch in your physics lecture.

Brrr....

"Sunday morning, rain is falling..."

I don't think that this campus believes in heat. I am a ice cube sitting here. I was wrapped up in my blanket for a good 2 hours just trying to thaw but nothing was working. It's been raining all day and because it looked like it would freeze I was out on the road around 2 today earliest I think i've left Eau C in awhile. The drive was very long and very boring, but no ice on the roads thank god.

Nobody was here in the apartment of course and I enjoyed my alone time here without them. I finally got my life back, my ipod has a new battery and is all back to normal YAY!! I also made a trip to target and got christmas lights to try to be festive and get in the spirit of the season. The best part was I had a free meal at noodles and went to enjoy it. It's fun to people watch, I definately have become a pro at it being that I've worked at a pool for 3 years and that's all you do. I was sitting next to a couple who were very amazed at the flavor in their pasta. I heard how she hadn't even had chinese but knew how to use chopsticks and was going to prove her significant other (maybe don't know) that she could eat her pasta with it even though it wasn't chinese. Real smart lady everyone walking by you gave you a look like you were a dumb ass. I don't think mac and cheese is in need of chopsticks.

So all my roomies are back and i'm ready to get out of here, that's a bad sign. Jenny will be here on Wednesday, we'll have fun! Something to look forward too....oh yeah and Beckham my beta didn't die, I kind of left him here during the break...oops. He's a fighting fish, not just for fighting other fish but fighting for his life. Yay for beckham the trooper.

off to freeze in my bed for the night

So this is christmas....

"Cuz every worthless word we get more far away and nothings ever promised tomorrow today."~my boyfriend

I recently have conjured up a new boyfriend, wait what am I kidding my self, I've had this boyfriend all along just he's been on the side. Yup I'm officially in love with Adam Levine. He is the love of my life and I can't believe how amazingly sweet he is.

this is where you all need to say WHOA aubs what's your deal??

Yup I just have my major obsession with Adam and I got to see him with Kanye West tonight on SNL, even though the night sucked it made everything better. Hey I've got the perfect deal, I have a boyfriend who is famous and hot who sings me to sleep each night and I don't have to worry about the down fall of all of the boyfriend things, like him lying to me, not calling I know he's busy but he still loves me. Hey we've met and we've already had that instant connection (check out the 3 blogs around April about the best day of my life to catch up) If anything my mom wants me to get the DNA off of the towel and clone my own Adam, wait that'd be even more creepy....

Thanksgiving is over kids, there is less that 30 days till christmas. Good luck trying to find that perfect gift that keeps on giving all the time, it's not out there. Good luck battling the crazies that are there every day trying to find that perfect gift that's not out there. Good luck even seeing Santa at the mall without a screaming kid or two. Good luck finding the perfect christmas tree, it's out there but someone else will get it, not you. Good luck getting jingle bells out of your head at night when you are trying to sleep....oh yeah and Merry Christmas.

No day but today

"525,600 minutes how do you measure a year in a life?"

Tonight was a good night. I needed it. I'm sick of this house and needed to get out. I haven't done much since I've been home and it feels nice. But I also need some activity in my life. So tonight I got to go out with Jenny to catch up. We had a waiter who definately wasn't up to par to my kind of service i'm used to ;) Self proclaimed Van wilder, great to know you're nothing but a slug buddy! But I don't recall van wilder living with a married couple with a baby. He definately thought he was going to get our numbers out of the whole situation but it wasn't happening it was too old and did I mention weird. So after a very weird dinner we went to go see the movie rent. Oh boy was that a good move on our part it was AMAZING definately go see it, loved it and can't wait to get it on DVD when it comes out. It was a good night all in all. tomorrow is my last night being in the Eau C for awhile so Im going out with the only accesory i need, my girls...maybe we can live it up to what we did last time we hit the town. Maybe tomorrow I won't be so lazy and get up before noon...hey i've got the rent cd to rock out to on my drive home on 29. stupid broken Ipod.... Ian is glaring at me kicking me off of my own computer funny how things work. Night all enjoy it, live in the moment don't live for today.

Aubs

Party on!!

"Maybe we just obsess over relationships that feel un-finished."~Carrie Bradshaw SATC

Wow I can't believe how much Sex and the city can relate to any girls life...Being on your own in a big city. This one is going to be short I'm going to the packer game tonight with the girls and we're leaving in less than 20 minutes. I am so excited to go home tomorrow night, i'm ready to get out of this place and r e l a x. I'll definately write more when I'm home in the Eau C because of bored. I'm really looking forward to spending time with my girls, even if we're missing Jackie. But it'll be a change of scenery, it's what i've needed for awhile. I've also got my wonderful dinner date with my mom at my favorite place to see my favorite waiter. but first I have to make it through my stats exam tomorrow. I've got all tomorrow to study, I've got this stuff down anyways. But one more day......mashed potatoes and family and FUN!!!!! Yay for that

Peace out homies

I'm on drugs...

Seriously I'm almost ready for bed and my drugs to take my ankle pain away are kickin' in, so this'll be short

"Or was it just like those promises that you made, on our last night?"~Better than Ezra, Last night

Wow that song couldn't have been any better. I for some reason have had jared on the mind today maybe because Kat is going through the same thing I did a few months back. It made me realize how far I have progressed from then. I definately have moved on from him. The thing is there are questions to answers I haven't gotten, like why all the lies. He said on our last night we were really together that he would be there for me no matter what. He would try to help out and do what he could to make things better. That I would be his best friend (that was a girl) and that he always would have a place in his heart for me. It makes me wonder if those were just lies or if he really meant it. it's been over 2 weeks since I called him and questioned him on the lies. I have yet to hear from him... I still have his shoes and his mug, I think I'm going to have a burning and smashing party for them since he hasn't even tried to contact me. Maybe i should send them home with erica, nawww that'd be too easy. He's gotta work for them. Obviously they weren't that important to him or he would have already tried to get them....It also has helped that I have moved on to bigger and better things in my life than dealing with him, hey I've got my GB bros and the guys here that's enough for me to handle. But there is so much that has happened since I last talked to Jared I bet he'd be suprised and shocked at some of the stuff.....oh well his lost.

Quick note before I fall asleep, I got flowers from my family saying how proud they were of me for doing so well on my physics test, they are super duper pretty and amazing i don't want them to die. They add a nice touch to the bathroom sinks we have outside our bathroom. So thanks fam they're awesome and yeah....

Lost sucks because they really should just let me know how everything plays out, cliff hangers suck!!

Night all remember that no matter what someone else out there has it that much worse....

"Angels fly in the air tonight, saying wasn't it just like swimmin' out on the lake, and stars collide and the airs alive."

Aubs

I remember running through the wet grass...

"Maybe I should drop you at your door or leave tonight and vanish up the shore. Anywhere but here.
It's three 0'clock we're driving in your car, you're screaming out the window at the stars, 'please don't drive me home!'"~At the Stars by Better Than Ezra

"That when you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless"

Tonight's big music influence on my blog is better than ezra, they are frickin' amazing you really should look into them. not just their new cd before these robots but the old stuff too. Way good...

Wow I have no idea where to start on this one, I really have been thinking about what I am going to write about in here. There is just so much to talk about. Maybe that's why I've been putting it off hoping that it would come out eventually in the right way. This weekend was one of the best weekend trips home that I have had in a long while. This was definately needed in my life being that I'm struggling with a lot on my plate. There was so much that happened this weekend I'm going to break it down into parts and highlights not the whole thing.

Friday~ I get in my car around 9 and drive on 29 west to the good old Eau C. I was dead tired but when I pulled up to my house there was a GIANT U-haul my dad obviously didn't get on the road to North Carolina like planned....he wasn't even close. I took a nap while they packed and then started helping get stuff moved from the house to the u-haul. My friend Sam from GB was visiting and was spending the night. It was soooooo good to see her she definately helped me in some decisions I've been struggling with. We had fun going to wal-mart and getting the most awesome car freshener french vanilla that smells like a yummy cup of cappacino. We get back and crash

Sat~ My dad hasn't gotten any of his clothes packed yet. Sammie leaves me around 9 and leaves her coat which is a definate need for her being she's ALWAYS freezing. My mom makes me wake up to go with her to get her hair done so if there was time I also could get my hair cut. Come to find out all that I got to do was listen to the gossip and paint my toenails what fun! Get back and help get dad on the road. It was actually sad to see him go, I guess it's just the sign of moving and that it is actually happening. I really haven't let it sink in yet. Phase one of the moving is now done next is to move everything out of my home.

Once my dad left my mom said that we had to go to Olive garden. (remember she met a boy that she wanted me to meet and maybe even date, crazy mom) so of course I didn't get ready or have anything cute from GB with me...I got to meet matt a very nice boy we'll see what happens. The girls called me and said that we all were meeting up for dinner after i had already eaten, great. We decide to go to Olive Garden again, and guess who our waiter is...Matt. Could I have looked any more like a stalker, argh just what I needed.

Dinner was awesome It was such a fun time. On the way there Allison told us her metaphor for her relationship with this guy. The neon van and suburban and the strengthening of her garage walls. But in favor of allison she's got what every girl wants....having the perks of a boyfriend without the commitment. We also got to hear matt's life story since my mom told him mine we also got to see his little brother and parents. They were sitting at the table next to us. But there has to be something wrong with him we're not sure what yet because every guy who is hot has to have something wrong with him. I was making fun of the hudson track and soccer feild and how rundown it was and I got the comment from matt, what does it take to please you? interesting... Oh and the girls left Matt my number when I ran to the bathroom after paying, great just what I need, him really thinking i'm a stalker.

We then were waiting for amanda at allisons house where we had to be quiet since the wells' fam was asleep. Here's where someone I believe allie said "everyone use their six inch voices...or maybe make it three inches?" I chimed in with that's the size of a gherkin. This was then the reminder for everyone to be quiet for the rest of the night. Sarah was also admiring her wonderful bejeweled pockets on her jeans and impressed by the watermelons and peaches that allie had aquired.

we also went over to our friends buck and anthony's house where sarah allie and I played spit. And just being the dork I am when drunken amanda said what are you playing is said it was spit on your mom, confused her like that! While driving in the car, sarah decides to whip out her shrimp tortellini that she couldnt finish at dinner.I came to an abrupt stop when the shrimp goes flying out of her little container. flashback: sarah's quickly picking up the shrimp but then casually asks "has anyone seen a shrimp tail anywhere?" (no, we couldnt, but we could smell it definately wasn't mixing well with my new french vanilla air freshener...) sarah opens her legs "oh, here it is!" ( not to mention amanda, being the girl she is, adds in "i always knew your cooter smelled like seafood")

We were ready to call it a night and go to bed when we found out that we could make it into a bar called the Nasty Habit. That describes the bar pretty....nasty. We all showed the bouncer our id's which obviously showed we weren't 21 and he let us in. 4 sober girls and 1 drunk girl walk in no prob. I got to see my first bar fight between these two chicks it was awesome. I had so much fun just dancing the night away. We were having so much fun I think a lot of people thought we were drunk. The gross part was that allison and allie kept getting checked out by this Very old old olllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld man i'd say mid 60s gray hair and bald, everything. Offered drinks but all were rejected and dancing to big pimpin' and my humps with my girls how great can it get. It was getting time to go since allison had a concert the next day and the smoke was getting to her vocal cords.

So probably the only 4 sober people there walked down water street on a saturday night when sarah makes a comment, "That was so much fun it should be illegal, oh wait it kind of was..." yay for my girls i love them to death.

Sunday~All I did was sleep and do laundry. I got out of the eau c. around 4 and made it home to GB around 7 realizing what a great and awesome time that I had with my girls, wondering if thanksgiving could come any faster...


That's all kids, party on like the rock star that you are, cause for sure I did this last weekend.
A-dizzle


The quotes for everyone from the sat. night of fun!!
What is that just her listing the guys she is planning to have sex with?"

A flashback... Jackie spills her shrimp tortellini all over Aubrey's car. Everyone screams and Jackie dives down trying to pick up the shrimp. Jackie: "You guys there's one missing! Has anyone seen a shrimp tail lying around?" Jackie opens her legs... "Oh there it is!" Amanda: "Jackie I always knew your cooter smelled like seafood!"

"i have a story to tell you..... it's called last weekend..."

"This mix of tortelini and french vanilla is horrible mix of smells.." while we stick our heads out of my car

"Oh my god there is a 50 year old man checking you out"

"We're moving up in the world b-dubbs to olive garden"

"allie you seriously grew some boobs, what the hell happened in Winona?"~Sar

(singing) "don't pull on my hand boy--there's a fucking fiddle... (stops singing) no, theres really a man with a fiddle"~allie

"this could be a problem.. i can't stop rubbing my ass in these pants"

"what does it take to please you?"

"he's so hot i could just...."
".... fuck him?"

"be quiet, we need to use 6 inch voices, or maybe 3 inches"
"that's like a gherkin!"
"shh! can we seriously PLEASE all just use gherkin voices?!"

"don't everyone look at once, but that lady's purse looks like the butt..... of a deer.."

"well, it was like we were driving in a van, but then the van was getting a little too serious, so we had to turn the van around and hop into the neon where we can choose to go how ever fast we want. but right now we're just chillin in the neon parked in the garage, and we're both welcome to get out at anytime" (allison's nicely put metaphor)

"remember the last time we were at the nasty? do you remember what we did after the nasty??"
"yeah, you two did the nasty.."

"wow, so tonight was way too much fun to even be legal... oh wait, it wasnt very legal now was it?"

It's a weird world we live in

"Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else."~John Mayer

I really haven't felt like my self these past couple of days. I don't know why, I'm getting out and doing stuff, I haven't had much homework, I've gotten the right amount of sleep for my body (if not more.) I've been taking my daily vitamins, and feel great...Except mentally. Maybe there is an internal struggle going on in my mind about staying in GB or going to UNC next year for college. Maybe I'm sick of all the dumb drama crap that goes around here, or maybe it's the little things that everyone is doing that is annoying me. I don't know what this is but I really hope I can find this and stop the mental internal struggle my brain is having. It's been so bad that I haven't been able to get to sleep until around 2 and I've never stayed up that late before when I've got 8 am class. I really am just looking forward to the Thanksgiving break that is coming up in less than 2 weeks. It will be much needed.

During my basketball game on tuesday night I rolled/sprained my ankle pretty bad, I took care of it by icing it and taking advil but it still has swollen up pretty bad, and the pain is still there. Well I thought that I'd be okay to play in the volleyball game yesterday night. I was fine moving fine until the last point in the game where I went to get the ball and then a guy on my team wanted the ball and took me out at the ankle. Now I'm in even more pain and I can't see my ankle bone thingie sticking out of my right leg, that's not a good sign. Hopefully the advil and ice will aid in this healing process as well as no b-ball game tonight.

I'm going home for the first time in about a month and a half. I have mixed emotions on this one because I'm missing a lot of stuff that is happening here, but I also feel like I need a break from this place. Seriously this place gets to your head after awhile. I also haven't talked to my mom or seen her in a long time. My dad probably will be there frantically packing the u-haul to get on the road to north Carolina again. I am excited to see my mom and my brothers and my puppy (she's probably not a puppy anymore). I need to enjoy the house that I'm leaving in less than a year as much as I can.

Update and the ass hole I currently refer to as Jared, he hasn't tried to contact me in any way to apologize or even explain himself. I thought this wouldn't be the case, maybe it shows how much he really does want to be my friend. Interesting...

Tonight my favorite show the O.C. is on but I am going to have to tape it because I have a dinner date with my "cousin" Jarek. Jarek is one my good friends back homes cousin that lives here in GB. Well since I was practically family and there for all the get togethers I consider Jarek a cousin, he's a senior and I get to meet the GF and a friend of his. Jacqui who is my age is his sister who I'm good friends with. It'll be nice to catch up with him tonight at b-dubbs. It's also b-dubbs and boneless wings thursday which means I'm a happy camper no matter what. Well I need to get ready and start limping out to my car....

party hard like the rock star you are!

Desiderta

I really don't have much to say, i found this and thought it was a good thing to put in here for the night. Enjoy, it's called Desiderta by Max Ehrmann

Go Placidly
amid the noise and the haste
and remember what peace,
there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on
good terms
with all persons.

Speak your truth
quietly and clearly, And listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always
there will be a greater
and lesser person
than yourself.

Enjoy
your achievements
as well
as your plans.

Keep interested
in your own career, however humble;
it is a real poession in the changing
fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your buisness affairs
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere
life is full
of
heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection
Neither be cynical
about love; for in the fact of all
aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength
of spirit to shield you in sudden
misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with
dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue
and loneliness.

Beyond
a wholesome
discipline
be
gentle
with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the tress and
the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt
the universe
is unfolding
as it should.

Therefore,
be at peace
with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors ans aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery
and broken dreams
it is still a
beautiful world.

Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

I HATE YOU!!!

"The WORST thing about being lied to, is knowing that you are not worth the TRUTH."



"And when did your eyes begin to look fake? I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending. I am alone In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and This bottle of beast is taking me home.
Your hair, it's everywhere. Screaming infidelity And taking its wear."~Dashboard Confessional

"I'm never gonna know, never gonna look back, never gonna know where we would have ended up at. The end has only begun. What you do, no one can decide it's up to you. And who you are is what you choose. These times when the world falls apart makes us who we are."~Lifehouse

"He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought no. He wouldn't even open up the door, he never made me feel like I was special. He really isn't what I'm looking for. He never made me feel like I was special, like I was special, cuz I was special."~Avril Lavinge

"Here I am once again I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend just thought you were the one, broken up deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes.
I told you everything, opened up and let you in for once in my life."

"I know exactly how you feel you were this close to closing deals when everything fell from out of your hands, you were forced to decide on other plans now. You figured it best to just ignore it otherwise you're only living for it...for the burning burning burning of bridges, burning burning which is nothing more than longing for being uninvolved."~Jason Mraz


This weekend has been the kick in the ass I have needed. I have finally learned the truth about the ass hole of an ex boyfriend I have dated. He is a liar. Yes everyone Jared Kropidlowski is a liar. He lied to me about something that I didn't care about, it is the concept of him lying to me. Fuck you Jared, honestly I was willing to give you a chance and to find out you lied to me while we were dating makes me wonder about everything that you did or said when we were together. Nothing that comes from your mouth is worth my time anymore, I can not trust a word you say. Everything is done between you and me. I will have a very hard time trusting you again. If you wanted to be my friend so bad you wouldn't have lied to me...trust is the basis of any friendship and my trust in you is gone. Our relationship we had obviously wasn't what I thought it was. I just hope you know that you have fucked up one of the best things you ever will have in your life. Was anything you told me ever the truth? Go smoke your pot I don't care but if you're going to do it don't lie to me about it. It just shows to me the kind of balls you have to not even be able to tell someone who you supposively love the truth. I even asked you if you had ever lied to me about things in our relationship and you said you were completely honest with me. So you probably cheated on me, lied to me about what happened in the past, and was completely using me for anything and everything. To me you are nothing but a piece of scum that feeds off of the pond scum. I should have listened to everyone who told me that you were a player and were not to be trusted, I gave you a chance and you knew that. For you to lie to me and blow it all away makes me even more pissed at you. My mother was right when she said something was shady with you and so were the girls who thought something just didn't add up. I hope one day you're lies all catch up to you. Or even better the one who you thought you loved lies to you and screws you over so you feel what I am feeling now. But the best part is, now I have a reason finally to hate you.

Here's the thing we started out friends, it was cool but it was all pretend, since you've been gone. You dedicated you took the time, wasn't long till I called you mine. yeah yeah since you've been gone. And all you'd ever hear me say is how I pictured me with you. That's all you'd ever hear me say...but since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time, I'm so movin on yeah yeah thanks to you now I get what I want...how can I put it you put me on I even fell for that STUPID LOVE SONG yeah yeah since you've been gone.....You had your chance you blew it, out of sight out of mind shut your mouth I just cant take it again and again and again. But since you've been gong I can breathe for the first time. I'm so movin' on yeah yeah thanks to you now I get what I want....
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE!

"What you see's not what you get with you there's just no measurement. No way to tell what's real from what isn't there. You're eyes they sparkle that's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain. You washed away the best of me you don't care.... There's nothing you can say, sorry doesn't cut it babe. Take the hint and walk away. Cause I'm gone, doesn't matter what you do it's what you did that's hurting you. All I needed was the truth now I'm gone. What you see's not what you get..."

everything in the quotes explain my feelings on everything go back and read them they are pretty good...wahoo life is good except for you know who

Wham-bam thank you ma'am

"If anyone ever wondered why you did it, you swear no one would know you sold your soul to the burning, burning of bridges."

I have lost part of myself...My ipod has officially crashed and won't turn on at all. I had to go to best buy and see what they could do for me. After waiting for this dumb lady to figure out if it was under warranty I had to find out my fate, my terrible fate. They had to send it into apple to get it serviced and if it wasn't fixable they would give me a new one. But until then I have to wait 3 weeks to get it back or a new one...I feel lost in the world without my sidekick, it came with me everywhere. Moment of silence and rememberance now...

okay that's done

Tonight I had a very good conversation with a friend of mine, who bejya refers to as abercrombie and fitch boy. She thinks that he could be an abercrombie and fitch model. We were discussing our trips to Cru and how it has become very hypocritical and we weren't big fans of it. Yeah it was a good talk, just because we don't go to cru doesn't mean we're bad people and don't believe in god. It was good to know that I wasn't the only one who had these feelings.

Tomorrow is my second mid term for my physics class and I'm kind of nervous, it's suppose to be the toughest one of the year. I haven't done much studying for it today I've really just been studying for it little by little each day, hopefully it'll help. I also got my test back from my western civ class and got a 88 percent only 4 wrong which was awesome!!! I thought I did pretty bad on that one. I rock!

So this part of the blog tonight is to let everyone know that in a previous blog I was very harsh on a certain roomie of mine and everything is better between us. I'm not sorry for what I said, I was mad and I'm not going to apologize for how I feel. But we are good now after we talked and I realize that I didn't talk about the other 2 people who were making me mad that night either, don't worry dear bejya they'll get their time in here as well.

Friday is fast approaching kids and aubrey is excited!!

Props goes out to the frickin' sweet mother out there in the city of Eau Claire. She's having a rough time suddenly being a single parent from dealing with a broken toilet to making the puppy lily throw up because she ate chocolate. Keep up the rockin' work mom, just think of
when you get a break and we go to olive garden to go see this boy matt ; )

finally tonight is my comment on the new leinenkugels beer apple spice that has been released. I am hoping from what my mother has told me that this stuff is the shit!! I am going out to see and test this experiment truly just for a scientific study, so really it's an academic activity I can't get in trouble for it. Let the experimenting begin!

Desire can cause heart-attacks.....

Damn the snows coming monday

"I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend, The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends, When it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away."~Jason Mraz

So yeah it's awesome to be here. Life in the land of packers is going super fast. I definately need to comment quick on the fact that October the month has been non-exsistent to me. I also can't believe that it's going to be Wednesday tomorrow. I guess they say that time flies when you're having fun, but homework and dealing with stupid people isn't my definition of fun.

This weekend is going to be the bomb-diggity. Wow bomb diggity i'm going to bring that word back into common use. you wait and see... Lester a friend from last year is coming to say goodbye before he gets sent over to Kuwait. Chad, my roomie's boyfriend and Erica's sweet brother Steve will be up here too. It's going to be a massive party all weekend. I've come to terms with this fact and decided I might as well make it a whole drunken weekend of fun (sorry mom) Hey I haven't been able party it up like this, last time i actually got drunk was beginning of July. It's my turn to be able to do dumb stuff and not have to worry about taking care of people. Also it's not been a good couple of weeks, wait that sounds like i'm trying to drink my sorrows away, definately not the case but I need some fun in my life! So my apologies to all if there are drunked phone calls from me this weekend... last comment for the night on how I feel about things with someone...I saw it on a shirt at abercrombie and fitch this weekend and I liked it

FREEDOM: I'm not with stupid anymore

I like sleep it's just fanfuckintastic!

i can't do it

i'm tired and i'll write later tomorrow maybe

rollin' down the street sippin on gin and juice

Me: Hey let's go driving down North street for fun tonight.
Crumper: Sure if you want to get into the middle of gang fights, get shot at, and possibly killed, sounds like a fun night right?

Hey guys I'm writing tonight from Miss Crumpers house in Milwaukee and Brad is here to maybe making some comments in here as well...

So today has been a crazy, weird, and totally awesome day. My day started out around 7:10 this morning by erica waking me up. Not a normal wake up you would think, she started tickling me, thanks erica it's just how I wanted to be woken up. I got up and decided I was too tired to take a shower and that I would wait until after my 8 am class do to it. I relied on my deoderant and my perfume to get me by. Hopefully my discussion group members wouldn't notice the smell. I get to class and realize that I had almost all but 2 questions in the assignment done. For you non-physics people this seems like a normal every day thing. But for me a physics person this is HUGE, it make the day that much better. Then I come to find out that most of my problems that I did I had right. That made the day start off pretty sweet. After class I decided to make the trek back to my apartment in between classes, at the time it seemed like a good idea...

I get to my apartment, bad idea Aubrey bad idea, and see my nice comfy and warm bed there. I was practically calling my name out to come and lie down in the bed. Of course me the lover of sleep decided to take my chances. I knew myself and set my alarm so I would be able to make it to my next class on time. I turn on the tv and slowly fell asleep. You probably are thinking right now, no big deal Aubrey you set your alarm you're good to go. This definitely wasn't the case. I not only slept through my alarm I somehow magically turned my alarm off so it wouldn't go off again while sleeping. This was not good missing my stats class, but lucky for me my roomie bejya just happened to be in the same class. She hopefully would give me the notes if she wasn't mad at me for not showing up to class. Around noon thirty erica and bejya roll into the apartment. bejya wasn't mad and told me that I was lucky for not showing up to class today because our normal prof didn't show up today. How sweet was that I totally ROCKED!! My day was going awesomely so far....

1:45 rolled around, the time that B-rad was going to be coming by to pick me up so we could make our way down to mil-town and tosa to stay at crumper's house for the weekend. Crumper was coming home because she had to work on sat. and sun. brad and I decided to come because we needed to get away and have time and quiet area to study for our tests next week. I definitely wasn't ready and wasn't packed but I got it all together in enough time. The hour and half trip was quick and pretty relaxing just what I have needed. We get into the city and come see crumpers house to drop off our stuff. We decide that we wanted to go see her mall and shop around for a little bit...

definitely turned out to be more than just a little bit. We were there for a long long time, it's a HUGE mall, it had 2 floors and it was pretty damn big. We ended up going into sephora not a good idea with two girls, we find this awesome stuff that is bubble bath, shower gel and shampoo all in one and a body butter that smelled like cinnamon buns oh sooooo good. Of course I had to get the lip gloss too. I also got a pair of my discontinued jeans at the gap for 15 dollars which was awesome, 3 pairs of my favorite jeans now all together were less than 60 dollars. We had fun rollin' around the mall, we even picked an outfit out for brad and even built him a bear since nobody had ever done build a bear for him. We decided that we were hungry and went to this awesome Italian place called maggiano's. The portions were huge and the food was SO good I definitely was full for the rest of the night. We went to go find simon birch the movie with no luck...

We came back to amanda's house and chilled with a few of her friends from home that were in town from college as well but here's the best part of the night. My mom calls me telling me that she met this very nice boy named Matt at Olive Garden, and that she's going to set him up with me. She found out everything about him and thinks he's very cute as well as has a great personality. Here's the kicker kids, she showed him my picture!! He looked at it I guess and said that I was beautiful. My mom is in love with this boy and thinks he's my soul mate and I haven't even met him yet. My brothers even told me that he's awesome, jay said that he's way cuter than jared (sorry jar) and I think Ian said that he's pretty sweet he'd like him as brother in law. CRAZY!!My mom is determined to find me a good guy. I guess he's a senior at UWEC and is a business major. She also told me that we are going to olive garden when I come home in two weeks. I think this is crazy but absolutely hilarious at times, I've never been set up and I doubt anything will come from this. The thing is that I'm not looking for a relationship right now any ways. If worse comes to worse I get a free dinner and a nice night out of the whole thing.

Last note of the night, my computer is officially screwed up and is barely working I think I need to find someone to look at it and make it better or even a new computer would be nice. hint hint

tomorrow is study for tests and haunted house at night I'll let you all know how that goes....

speak of the devil....

"When I fall in love, I'll take my time, there's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind. You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine."~Jason Mraz

Quick comment on the pic, i saw it somewhere today and it made me laugh, so I thought i'd let you have a laugh too today!

Today has been one interesting day, interesting would be an understatement. Class for stats today was cancelled which left me to sleep in until 10:15. Well because my body likes to play tricks on me and mess with my mind I woke up around 8:30 and couldn't sleep. It was nice to be up and get stuff done but I wanted to stay in bed longer all nice and cuddled up with my blanket. I went to my physics lab with the intention of getting out of there as fast as I could so I could start on my loads of homework. i was then reminded by my lab partner that we were suppose to work together on problems we had on the previous homework. good job aubrey forget all your physics stuff at the apartment. I did what I could and for about 3 hours we went over this with our crazy but super sweet lab instructor Dr. Hencheck. It was 3 hours that I really didn't have time for but i know what I'm doing now. i get back and bejya wants to talk, great just what I wanted and needed right there. After a long and very loud and at points mean conversation we got everything figured out. Sweet one person down 2 more to go....

Well after working on my stats forever I look at the clock and realize that it's already 5. I decided to make dinner for everyone instead of eating frozen pizza for the 500th night in a row. So it took me a few minutes to make the dinner and I worked more on my stats. After we ate. Jamie, Bejya and I had a volleyball game. That game went pretty crappy we went into at 3rd game and lost it at 18-16 rally point scoring. i get back and I here the phone ring, it's Jared....

To be quite honest I was shocked at this call coming from him. After I dropped him off in wausau on sat. afternoon I figured I wouldn't be speaking with him again, at least for awhile. After the concert we went to i got the vibe that I was not liked, this is coming from the guy that has told me repeatedly that he will always love and care for me. I just figured that he realized that I wasn't the girl he fell in love with and stuff wasn't there anymore. It was a weird conversation because it was like a conversation from the summer, long and about everything. We didn't even have conversations like this when he went to college and everything seemed to fall apart between us. I thought I was over all of this, i am i think but maybe there is that 1 percent hope somewhere in my heart that we'll be back together. I know that i'm not going to get the whole i was wrong in my ways and i can't live life without you speech anytime soon if at all. I guess I'll give up on that. Talking to jared made me feel worse for some reason, it made me realize what I had lost and that I might never have that back again. Maybe I just need time away from talking to him, maybe I don't, I don't know what I want. I'm super confused in this whole situation. I just don't get how someone can just turn their feelings of love towards someone off completely in a blink of an eye. I hope there might be something there, but i doubt it. I guess i just have to settle for being friends. But what if i'm not able to be just friends with him???? I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Argh this is so confusing!!!

It's almost 1 am and I need to go to bed, I love sleep so much!!! But I hate 8 am classes that's what's the killer. Have a wonderful day and remember to always smile, it makes people wonder why you're smiling all the time. G'night

Gatorade: Is it in you??

"These days are changing what lies tomorrow we'll never know, tonight lets live forever so we can hold on to these moments."~Forever Jason Fioto

Today was a horrible terrible awful no good day. I want it just to be over but I know that things that occured today will lead into the following days if not weeks. Recently I have been completely ignored by some certain people, people I share an apartment with. The whole weekend when I was here I was ignored. All I did was lay in my room, not once was I included in anything that they were doing. If they did try to include me it was after the fact of it occuring. After watching a show for awhile and I walk into the living room and they're like "Hey we're watching friends if you want to join us." Makes me say hey how about no you could have asked me first. Maybe it's because these two roomies of mine seem to be very self involved recently. I understand that we all have our times to be self involved and only think about ourselves but don't you feel bad not caring about another person sometimes? Normally I wouldn't stand for this crap but I have had a lot on my mind recently with family issues. So right now I'm going to just sit here and type hardly to vent my anger.

I am sick of a person being the victim in everything. I have many reasons to sit here and act like the victim of things, but do I? NO! I'm sorry but you now have someone in your life and you can't say that nobody will ever care for you. That you just want that touch of some guy, well you've got it and we've all noticed. We've all noticed how you get up early now and love the attention of straightening your hair gets you. The whole being alone on the weekends isn't getting you any where any more. So what?!? I spent the whole weekend ignored in the apartment i think that's a little worse. Yeah so what if your roomie has a boyfriend and you don't see her as much and you miss her. Oh you miss her what about the two other girls in the room next to you that you pretty much ignore all the time. All this is, is someone being very hypocritical and being very shady. I don't even know if I can trust this person like I used to. Maybe it's time for me to move on to the worth while relationships in my life. Maybe the two roomies can be together forever and let the two of us do our own thing.

Thank god I have Jamie here, if I didn't have Jamie as a roomate I think i would really go and kill someone. She is the reason that I haven't just left here. She talks to me and helps me out and I am very greatful to have her with me in my life. She realizes that these things are going down as well. I am able to vent to her about things that would make other people really mad about. This is going to suck when she's gone on Thursday, I'm going to have to fend for myself.

I recently have come into a batch of bad luck, well not bad luck, people being ignorant and not caring for others well being. Yesterday I was near our very heavy and thick door putting on my shoes. There was a crack in the door and one of my roomies comes flying in slamming the door right into me. I swear to god it was going like 40 mph. It hit me in my shoulder and in my head. It was such an intense pain I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there and left. Not once since the incident has she mentioned or asked how I have been feeling. I have had a horrible headache all day, a bump on my head that hurts when anything touches it, my arm is tingly at times and my shoulder hurts when my backpack strap rests on it, but she doesn't ask so she doesn't care. There are boys around here that live across the apartment complex, they're a crazy bunch. At times it's fun and hilarious but at others it is annoying and really pisses me off. tonight was the pissed off nights. I was in my room doing nothing and I start getting harassed i told them to stop. They did for awhile but then when I came to answer the door when they were constantly knocking it, they I mean he opens it and I told him to leave. He wouldn't and grabs me and throws me on the couch my head hit the arm and my neck snapped back and there was a very loud crack. Whiplash and very intense pain, what fun!! It must have been this hilarious thing because bejya erica and putz thought it was awesome, pretty sure I didn't need this crap tonight. I didn't do anything to them at all tonight and look who gets hurt. That's right me. It took Bejya five minutes to come and see if I was okay and i yelled at her and nobody has checked on my yet. What nice friends I have!!!!

What it boils down to is that everyone is pissing me off except for my mom jamie and crumper. So sorry but you probably are pissing me off currently too. Tomorrow is a new day and it sure as hell can't get any worse so it must be better.

sorry so sorry

So I suck and haven't done this thing in awhile. Jared and I aren't together any more and I think it is for the better. Yes maybe things were great when we were together but maybe we're just meant to be friends. I was told that I have foung my BIG from Sex and the City. So Jared is now Big. But I was having a pretty shitty day today and this is what I got from a friend of mine. It definately made my night a lot better.

swmalwys: i love you. thank you for being amazing. thank you for being there for me. thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders aubrey, you are amazing!!!!

Auto response from UNC Socerchic14: If you were homework i'd be doing your right now

UNC Socerchic14: aww thanks
UNC Socerchic14: what's that for?
swmalwys: its cause i love you and you make me smile when im sad and know how to get me not to freak out about things, and i just felt like telling you that you are amazing./



Thanks for the wonderful message i don't think it could have made my day any better. I'm going to try to write more in here being that I need a place to vent!!
Night all

life,laugh, learn, love, live!

"Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind."~Matchbox Twenty


I've been so happy recently. I haven't felt this way towards anyone before, this just feels diffrent for some reason, a good diffrent. I like it. He is one of the sweetest guys I think I could have ever ask for. I am so lucky to have found someone like him, it feels so perfect. I miss him so much when i'm not wit him. It helps that I get to talk to him everyday, we talk every night which is great, i love it! I even like the cute little messages that I get when i'm working or something. He's so caring and looking out for me making sure I get only the best. I can't wait to see him on Thursday, i wish it would be here tomorrow!! I need to be getting ready for work, i'm starting to get sick of work and am ready to move back to Green Bay....summer is over half way done kids, go out and enjoy it!

So I finally got the lyrics from Jared correctly so here they are...

i'm riding down the highway,
heading down west 29

i'm lost in the blue eyes
that cannot be disguised

and her sheer beauty
is blinding to all in the room

i can't live another day
without you

i'm blinded
i'm blinded

i can't live another day
without you

hold me in your arms,
don't ever let me go

i don't want to spend
another day alone

please stay with me,
you're all i need

please stay with me,
dear Aubrey

i'm singing this song
to ease all the pain

i close my eyes to see you
to keep myself sane

i'll be seeing you
all day and all night

i dedicate this song to you
because it feels right.

as Aubrey's song

now that you're hear with me
i can finally sleep

i've been longing for you
alone in my room

lying with you,
eases all the pain

i open my eyes and see you
to keep myself sane

i am seeing you
all day and all night

now i'm going to do
what feels right

after Aubrey's song.

i'm driving down the highway
heading down west 29.

The love i've gotten

Jared and I are now together....it's offical, I'll write more about that later but look at this song that he wrote about me. I needed to put it in here since it's so sweet. This is what I've remembered so far. It's called without you (Aubrey's Song)


Riding down the highway
Headind down west 29
I'm lost in your blue eyes
that you can't disguise
And her sheer beauty
is blinding to all around her

I can't live another day withou you
I'm blinded, blinded
I can't live another day without you

Please hold me in your arms
don't ever let me go
I don't want to spend another day
without you

Singing to ease the pain
I close my eyes to see you
Just to keep me from going insane
I'll b esiing you all day and all night...

Sweetness of the sun

"Looking at your picture from when we first met. You gave me a smile that I could never forget. And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night. Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind. The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night. I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go. "


So this past weekend has been one of the dumbest and most boring weekends I have had so far this summer in Eau Claire. I worked at a softball tourny for the whole weekend sitting there doing nothing. I got paid for it and got a pretty nice tan but still it was boring. I worked from like 5-1030 on friday 1-1030 on sat. and then today I worked from 10-6. Whew it sucked.
Although I got a call from Erica who was throwing a party at her place Saturday night. Well Jared came and sang me a song he wrote about phillpe and then told me that he has a crush me. Which is weird, i've never had a guy just flat out say that. i think i might have a little crush on him to0. But I have been told that he's a player. I found out he was making out with a girl later that night after he called me, i might ask him about that. I really don't want to get my hopes up for something that isn't going to happen in the long run. It seems like that happens around here i my life these days, my hopes getting high then crashing down. I'm not one to go on the past and what others say, but I'll find out on my own, may even flat out ask. So that's the major confusion right now in my life. He also is coming to eau claire soon so i'll find out what's going on. hopefully the player thing isn't true. Off to bed i'm tired and sunburned

Summer oh how I love thee

"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance."~Unknown

So here are some things that my summer has been like over the month that I have had to enjoy it
*I come home from college to find out that I have mono. My spleen and liver were enlarged 4 1/2 inches and 6 inches respectively. Wasn't cool because it meant for me no more partying and no more late nights. A strict 10 pm curfew instilled on me. I have yet to get that curfew off. It sucks.
*The Tuesday night budget and buffalo wild wings tradition is back and awesome. I've seen some really cute movies so far, Hitch, Fever Pitch, Robots, and Sahara.
*I have already had the chance to go up and visit with all the GB crew at Erica's 19th birthday party. It was a fun time on the lake for 3 days. So much fun that I got 2nd degree burns on my shoulders and tan everywhere else. I currently am peeling like a snake.
*Being serenaded by Jared trying to sing me to sleep, one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.
*Erica and Steve and the whole teclaw crew coming to visit Eau Claire for a soccer tourny.
*Getting a call from Jared last night singing my favorite song he has written called pickles and cheese because he heard how burned I was and how I have been having a crappy couple of days.
*I am back working at the pool for the 3rd year. I'm starting to hate it because my boss has no idea what she is doing because it's her first year. I even had to train everyone, and do I get credit for this at all, nope.
*The instructing of soccer is back on again as well. But this time I am going to be instructing 4 hours with little kids and I'll have two partners. More hours more pay no problem with that.
*I have gotten the chance to get closer with friends from high school and realized some things about other friends that isn't so cool.
*Staff Bonding at the pool ends up with many drunk people showing off their piercing.
*I got a new pair of shoes (wait this is me I buy shoes almost every week) but these shoes are the coolest. They are keens and super comfy and waterproof and anti-odor. Super sweet stuff!
*I changed my stupid cartilage ear ring to a cool curved bar bell with pink with white star balls on the end.
*Got into an accident on 94, crashed the moms car making it be 3600 dollars of damage.

So now onto the things that are really starting to bug me....
Recently my 4 closest girl friends have been ignoring me and pretty much leaving me in the dark. It really has come up because this girl Sarah one of the girls in the group is home for 8 days from Florida and we all haven't seen her. Well we were all planning on hanging out on Thursday. I call Sarah and she's sleeping and left her a message to call me back. Nothing from any of the girls that night. Friday night I had plans but was going to meet up with them later. Come to find out they were going to these two parties and didn't decide to call me till after they were drunk. One girl said she got a message from me and said I didn't want to come out because of the mono. Nope not true why would I be out for staff bonding night then? Well Sat. I get a call at 9:30 at night while out to dinner with my family for fathers day. She leaves me a message saying that bunch of them were going to allies to spend the night and she was leaving in 5 minutes. Awesome thanks for the heads up 30 minutes before my curfew, like I had a chance to go to that one. So I call her back and nobody answers, sweet huh? I said something to one of the girls and I got the comment oh we really didn't want you to feel left out but we just haven't seen Sarah and are so excited to see her. Wow that's great I haven't seen her at all yet and she leaves soon. I really am stating to feel like I am sarah's replacement. That I have been used as a way or ride for the girls to get around, especially when they are drunk because I can't drink yet. We'll see how things go tomorrow night, if they are going to call me about our Tuesday night ritual. Maybe I have just done some growing up and they are still stuck in their high school click. I don't know I'm feeling hurt and left out and not wanting to deal with it at all.

Another thing that is really bugging me is people that aren't true to themselves. There is a person around here that is from my high school that has been lying to me and everyone else. A few of us are really sick of it and aren't able to deal with the bull shit all the time. This guy acts like he's the best thing in the world and that everyone likes him, which really isn't the case, they are just too scared of him to be mean to him. He also has been cheating on his girlfriend, A LOT! I'm not sure what to do about it but it's really starting to bug me. I really feel bad for his girlfriend because she puts up with the crap he's sending her way.

Finally I am sick of this one kid who is from GB. He's acting like he is best friends with everyone in our small-hall-Ian crew. Which isn't the case. He came up to Rhi-town and annoyed the crap out of everyone there. He even told his roomie whose friends with all of us that he really hated hanging out with us and wished he hung out with this girl that we call pink megan and her friends more than us. Way to be real fake the whole weekend. This kid jared sang this song pickles and cheese for me. Well this kid reid didn't and wasn't a part of the whole reason why I loved this song so much. Well now he's acting like it was this thing between him and jared and trying to be cool about it. It makes me mad, it really shouldn't but it was a thing that jared and I were doing. It all comes down to that he wants all of the attention for himself. When he's not getting the attention he makes a way for him to be the center of attention. He's got to get everything his way, the worst part is that he's an only child and you can tell. He is used to getting his way all the time. Not that I have a thing against only children at all, most of the time they are super sweet kids but this one just goes over the edge. He makes it out to be that him and his family really hate each other when the case is that he's doing it for us to feel bad for him. He thinks he's the hottest thing known to man and gets depressed when girls reject him. He's one of the only guys I know that are more emotional than most girls I know. I swear he's a chick. Wow I'm a horrible person for saying all of this stuff but for anyone who knows this guy knows that it's true!

Wow what a mean post this has been. Hopefully I'll end up with having some friends in the end of this whole thing. I'm going to go receive the biggest bitch award now.... have a great night.
~Aubs

Part 3 of the best day of my life

Sorry I haven't been on here to finish my day of enjoyment. But here we go...

After wandering around the venue my mom and I decide to go sit down because it was getting time for the thrills to get on. No body from the group we went to lunch with were there yet once the thrills came on. I was expecting a pretty sweet show from them being that their CD was good. Well I was proven wrong. They were horrible, absolutely horrible. They were stoned out of their minds. The bass player had this expression on his face like he was dumbfounded. He also would just wander around and not even play half the time. The lead singer after every one of their songs would take a bow and say thank you thank you! After the 3rd song it got pretty annoying. I was really ready for them to be done. After they got done there was a half hour break. Me being the friendly person I got to know everyone around me. I find out that the woman sitting behind me is the sister of this girl we consider part of the family. It was weird. There was a group of a mother and a daughter who was around 15 in front of us. They had signs, yes I love Maroon 5 but I'm not a fan of making the signs. They had gone to 3 concerts and paid for SIN sets at all three that's almost 500 dollars not including the traveling from 5 states. That's a little much for me. Then the lights go down and there is this curtain up, with the background changing colors and you can see the silhouettes of the boys coming on stage starting up the beginning of tangled. The whole concert was amazing. Adam kept looking over at me, as I told my friends we were having mental eye sex hehe not really. Mickey saw my mom and waved and James came over on to our side and waved to us. Then we saw Shawn in the back smoking holding a towels. He made this jester to us like when trying to make a truck pull the air horn. Well it was him pointing to back stage. My mom being the idiot didn't get it and I told her to go talk to him. There went our chance to go backstage. Then he made a catching sign towards me and I just nodded. The guys go off and I knew there was going to be an encore. I saw shawn give them towels and say something to Adam and point at me before the lights went off. So we waited. When they came out they all had left their towels behind except for Adam, he had his. Then he came over right in front of me and threw his towel at me. YAY!! Being the former goalie I jumped up so high and grabbed the towel. Thing is there were bitchy high school sophomores behind me trying to get the towel away from me. I had grips on it so hard nobody was going to get it. I got punched and pushed over onto the chairs and then punched in the eye and elbowed in the lip but then they stopped and I had the towel, with Adam sweat and all. A great souvenir for the night. They played 3 songs and ended with she will be loved my favorite for 3 years before it even was on the radio. It was awesome!!

Being that we parked by tour bus we decided to wait and see if they would come out. After much boringness they never came out and we decided to make the trek back home to Eau Claire, so I could get on my way to green bay the morning. It was such an awesome experience that I don't think I will ever forget!!!! Now I can finally write about my final month at school and how summer is going...That will be later, I've got to go to work and do laundry.
~Aubs

Part 2 of the best day of my life

So coming out of the bathroom giggling and seeing the guys kind of just look at me, kind of nervous and I just wanted to start laughing because of how they looked at me and the girl I was with. It probably was because Alex was daring me to wash my hands in the urinal and they probably heard it. Oops oh well....

So Fred came in and said that all the radio station people would group together and go up and get their picture taken first. I was very pleased with that being that they didn't even get to meet them or take the time to shake hands or talk to them. They won it for free I paid for it. Once the radio people quickly got out of the way Shawn told us to line up and we'd all get to meet them and take a picture. the picture that was being taken would be sent to us in about 4 weeks. So everyone got into line and I was in the back talking with Abby and my mom. Well shawn was just sitting around so my mom when up and talked to him some more right when the band was there 5 feet away from her. Being that shawn is best friend with them I guess they noticed how she was really nice and friendly with him, she even gave him a mint which the guys saw. We were second to last in line, I'll be honest, I was pretty nervous to meet them but I kept it cool and collected. At the beginning jesse said not to shake ryan's hand because he was sick, but I did anyways. I asked him how is arm was doing and when he would be back, he said, "I'm doing well and hopefully soon, thanks." With a big giant grin. Mickey was next he said hey how's it going nice shoes, (my chuck taylors I had bought just for the show) Then he asked my mom if she made her tye-dye shirt, he's like, "That's a sweet shirt, did you make it yourself." My mom was too busy hugging adam at the time so I said no but when we saw you here about 3 years ago we did, you should have seen them. He's like awesome. Jesse was up next, who I adore, I've been a piano player for awhile and seeing him rock out is so cool. Well his hand was behind his back and wasn't going to shake my hand. I was like hey how's it going, and I'm like can i just shake your hand he's like ummm and slowly brings his hand from behind his back and said, of course! with a big smile. And at this point fred told us to hurry up so I had to fly passed James who I have found a new love for. I said hey and shook his hand. Then it was adam, he was feeling or looking sick so I asked him how he was doing, he's like i'm just really tired, I just woke up. Being the smartass that I am I said I have been up since 6 am and I'm ready to pass out. He smiled and said turn and smile. I was in between James and Adam and I had my hands on their backs. I was just in awe of being next to them I didn't notice until something. Took the picture said thanks and left. Well come to find out Lori told me that through out all the pictures Adam had his hand on James so he didn't have to touch the person who was standing next to him. Well I guess when I went up there he put his arm around me which I was in too much of excitement to notice. YAY ME! My mom and I got to talk to them for the longest time, i think it's because of seeing us being so personable and nice to their friend Shawn. Maybe not but It was so much fun!!! I am mad that I didn't hug them, oh well that just gives me a reason to go and meet them again!

So after everyone got their autographed picture we were led out back to the main entrance of the concert. Well my mom was talking to shawn and I took a picture of them together. It's cute, yay for shawn!! He's pretty sweet guy and doesn't get enough credit for all the work he does. So we went to go get our tickets which we didn't know where they were. I was hoping for 3rd row being that the 1st and 2nd were random and you had to look up to see I wanted 3rd. I figured I would be able to see them in eye sight. I sign my life away and get the tickets my mom looks and them and was 3rd row front and center!! YAY we were more on the mickey side which I had no problem with, Adam would be right in front of me. I was getting even more excited for the night to come!!

The rest of the girls from the message board were going to get some more drinks in them, well I was really tired and getting cranky as well as my mom so we went to go lay down in the car for awhile because we had time till the concert. We were laying around and I called Bejya and Erica to let them know about the fun that I had already. Around 6 we decided we'd go and see if we could get into the venue and buy the posters I wanted and bring them back to the car. Well we go in and he's like well you can go over to the "iron goal grill" and eat there until it opens at 6:30. He caught my dad's digital camera and told me I'd have to bring that back to the car. But what he didn't catch was my digital camera, my sweet phone looking one. We were the only ones there and got our food which was excellent. Then people started filling in because the venue wasn't open yet. Once we were done we went to go buy the posters and stickers. I took them back to the car and told my mom that we should wander around the venue. Well as we were wandering around we saw the 2nd car that maroon 5 designed, the honda coupe, it was black and cute I wanted it! As we were walking I ran into these 4 girls from high school who are seniors now. Well I liked one of them the rest of them kind of just pissed me off, especially this one Jessi Meyer who thinks she's better than anyone. I chatted with them and asked them where they were sitting, "We've got really good seats, we're in section 101." I was like oh really well I am 3 row front and center on the floor. The expression on their faces were awesome what that's awesome. I then had to add in how I met them and went to the soundcheck already. Then my best friend Jessi looked at me and was like how did YOU get to do that? I said I have my connections and walked away. It was so AWESOME! I loved it! They all just looked depressed afterwards. Okay well I'm done with this one for the day at least for now since english class is done and we've done nothing today!! Part 3 to come later!

Part 1 of the best day of my life...

Last night was one of the best times I have had at a Maroon 5 concert and I have been to many of them.

The day started out with me waking up at 6:30 am to get ready to go and make sure everything was ready for the trip to the cities. It was a two hour drive with my mom. My mom is also a big fan and is known around here at college as the "cool sweet mom" We went to Mall of America to waste time until 1:30 where we were going to go meet Abby (Maroon5tweak) Lori (theoperainme)and her fiance and brother at the liffey near the xcel energy center. It was fun getting to know everyone.

It was 3:15 and we headed over to the place where we all were supposed to meet shawn. We meet up with rachel (gardensgrey) and her friend. Well come to find out that a radio station had also given out tickets to the soundcheck and the meet and greet. I was pissed, especially if they thought that they would get the same treatment as us SINners did. I paid for these, not win them off the radio. While we were waiting you could hear adam playing a little bit and talking to the sound guys which got me even more pumped!


Shawn came around at 3:45 and got everything situated. He told us to that it'd be about 10-15 minutes more to make sure everyone was here. While we were waiting around my mom being the friendly person she is, went up and had a chit chat with shawn for the remaing time. she got to know him pretty well and heard some pretty great stories from him.

We all were sent into sound check around 4. The sinners and the radio station winners were seperated with us being in the first 3 rows. Which made me so much happier! James and adam came in first leading mickey and jesse. adam came in and made this strong man muscle pose which was hilarious! through out the soundcheck they played rage against the machine and soundgarden which was awesome. Adam didn't sing much i thing that his voice was tired or something, because at one point james said let's do the ending of the sun and adam pointed at his throat and did this cute funny thing with his thumb. James and mickey left while adam went onto the drum set and played for awhile while Jesse was chillin' playing/improvising on the keys. Adam left and jesse made a comment saying, "I'll see you all later, in 30 seconds."

Shawn then lead us to this hockey locker room thing, where normally this would be where the team would be or used for concerts. Well my mom was talking to shawn again, a few of us asked shawn if we had time to run to the bathroom which he said was fine. Well we get back and they already had come in....well time to go watch queer as folk with AJ i'll write more tomorrow!

4 days!!!!

"Don't do drugs kids, unless you really hurt something....and your heart doesn't count."~Adam Levine

So it's down to 4 days until one of my goals in my life is finally coming true. That's right kids I am going to be able to meet all 5 members of maroon 5. This has been a long time coming and words can't express how excited I really am. My roomie has told me that she's sick of Maroon 5 even though I don't play it that much. She told me that I can't play it anymore, well that's too bad i'm going to play it as loud and as long as I want. It's my radio and stero, my music, my noise volume. Wow that totally made me sound like a complete bitch, but it's Maroon 5 you just don't tell me to turn that sutff off, it's sin in my eyes.

School is going well I think, I am kind of having a hard time trying to focus when I have the thought of my mom and her being really sick on my mindall the time. I wish I could just be home so I can help out and make her feel better. I guess summer is coming soon so it will be better once I am home. I'm getting tired though and I'm going to bed have a great night
Love peace and chicken grease.

I'm a terrible person....

"By the time I recognize this moment this moment will be gone, but i will be the light pretendin' that it somehow lingered on..."~John Mayer

So it is a friday night and about 10:45 and I'm bored out of my mind. You would think that I would be out having fun and partying the night away....nope not tonight. I've had a little too much of that recently and in a strange way am enjoying the time by myself. So I am a terrible person. I can't keep my promises and should be shot. there is a friend of mine who I was planning on going to go shopping with today after classes. I was really tired and came back and fell asleep and totally spaced the whole thing. Well I got a hold of him later and he said that's cool and maybe go tomorrow instead. Well I was down with that but then I thought I'd be up for going around 5ish. Comes to find out I pass out again on my comfy bed till around 6. My friends had made plans and being that I have the only car out of the group I was forced to go with them. What sucked is that I left poor A.J. and stood him up. I felt horrible, I invited him to come along but here are his exact words ," Well I don't have money to go out to eat and don't really want to hang out with all those other people I like YOU. So I guess i'll stay here." it breaks my heart to hear this. I felt like the size of a pea and feel super bad. I owe him huge. And to make things better going out tonight for dinner wasn't that great at all anyways. BLAH i should have just ditched them and stuck with my plans...GRRRR!! stupid me. So AJ buddy if you are reading this I am truly sorry and feel so bad, I'll make it up to you some how some day, and remember I heart you !!!!!

So nothing other than that to really write about. I'm kind of have a problem with people who are close to me in my life right now. I've made it through harder times than this. So i'll be okay, I kind of miss my guys and gals back home who love me. I'm feeling like this my friends back home all loved each other without thinking about it or feeling like we had to. How we cared about everything that was going on in each others lives without even thinking or feeling like we were forced to ask. I miss all the hugs and the love we all had for each other radiating. you don't get that here. At times i guess I feel alone in a world when there are people all around me. don't get me wrong i have people here who are like that but it's totally diffrent. I can't just climb into one of my girl friends bed and lay there and cuddle when I'm having a horrible day. When back at home my friends would know right away if I was having a bad day and with in a split second I would have a huge hug hopeing to make things better. Maybe it's my fault that I am able to put on a mask at times to make people believe that I am okay when really I am not. Maybe I should stop trying to be the happy person all the time and actually let people know when I'm having a rough time. But that's not me...I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Summer is almost here so that might make things a lot better!

English sminglish

So as I am writing, I am in my English Composition class. We have been working on writing a narrative story for about a week during class. I haven't done anything most of the time being that my story has been done since the first day. Maybe playing on the computers is a good idea. I don't even know why I wake myself up for the class at 9 am for just playing on the computers. Tonight is this big huge barn dance. There is going to be line dancing, snowball fight, ping-pong, pool, and tons of other stuff. I'm super excited because we went cowgirl shopping yesterday. I found this huge clydesdale stuffed horse for 5 dollars and a cool cowboy hat. I also later at wal-mart got a cap gun and handcuffs i think i'm going to go as the sheriff of the town, hopefully I'll win. Saturday night is when Bejya's parents have to come into town for something. They decided since they were going to be in town that they would take bejya, erica, and I out to dinner. Wahoo the olive garden and not having to pay how sweet is that!? And finally for the plans of the weekend, sunday morning erica bejya and I are hopping into my car and driving to wausau which is about an hour away. We are going there to watch erica's boyfriend mikey and her brother steve ski. We also are going and meeting her family. Hey it might be another free meal for us. (I think I am liking this free meal thing I should work on getting them more often) Well I am going to go to my sociology class with my professor who definately smokes too much weed. It'll be an interesting one. Have a wonderful day

Friends and Excitement why does it work???

Tonight was a very interesting night. It kind of made me look at things that are going on here in a diffrent view. So tonight after the girls basketball game (which they killed loyla in a wipeout) Bejya, Erica and I came back to sleep for a little bit because we all had a late night last night. We left campus around 6 so we can actually get to the Resech center and get okay seats being that we played Milwakee. It was a huge game and I was pumped as ever for it because it was like being back in high school where everyone was pumped doing cheers I felt like I was a home. Well Bejya and Erica just sat there. Yup sat there while I was yelling cheering and standing up on great plays. I wanted to stand up the whole time, they did not. So I really wasn't enjoying the game. I understand that people aren't into basketball, but it's tough when the people you come with look at you like you're crazy when you are cheering. So at the half I went down to talk to my friends peter and amanda who were down on the floor (we were up in the stadium seating). She mentioned that there was an extra seat and that she wanted me to come down and cheer with them instead. So once the half was over I left the girls (which I felt bad for) and cheered my heart out and enjoyed every friggin minute of it. Can two people be friends if they don't agree on the amount of excitement to put into life? Does one have to get excited at the biggest things? I think that a person should be able to get excited at anything they see. It makes life worth living. What if you never will get that big thing that will make you excited again? You just sit there and be a lump of un-excitedness, boring.... Can these two opposite people remain friends or will there be a drift eventually down the road because of this? Don't get me wrong I love bejya and erica to death but it was just weird being the one who was excited. Maybe I'll let them stay at home since they really didn't want to be there and I'll go with someone else. Then everyone is happy in the end. But at least at the end of this all we won and now are in 1st place in our league. Suck on that sports illistrated, UW-Milwalkee winning the horizon league for the tourny, HA!! Off to bed trying to beat this whole flu, cough, thing!!

Highs and Lows

Many apologies for not keeping up with this. I had forgetten about the password to get into this thing. So I'm going to give highs and lows about my first semester of college. I will try to work on being better about this. Started out at freshmen orientation which was dumb and got to know everyone in Small hall. I live with a lot of people from the swimming and diving team. I had a big mess up switch thing with the roomie and ended up with a diffrent roomie named becca. We get along at times but we are total opposites and have our diffrences on things. I did get the great blessing of meeting some pretty cool people, 2 for sure pop into my head right away. One would be Miss Erica Teclaw, she's from rhinelander up north of wausau. She's awesome and fun to kid around with. The 2nd person who isn't last in my book at all is Bejya (think hey-ya with a b instead of an h). She is just great, she's one cool cat. I am pretty darn lucky to make such great friends with these girls who just live 2 and 3 doors down from me. They are definately are a gift and I love them greatly. Oh yeah and I get to live with them all next year how sweet is that? I have also made many other friends here that are very dear to my heart, but I really don't have all that much time to go through and tell about every single one of them, i'll do that when they come up in later blogs. Here are some of the things that I have learned in college...
*Going to be before 11 is practically impossible and seen as a sin
*Your computer is a great way of communicating between a person just down the hall from you
*Conan O'Brien is the man most people fall asleep with
*Music is key to your everyday life, from hanging out to going to class whatever
*Having water fights in the halls don't just gets you wet it gets the walls wet with stains
*Boys really like video games especially Halo
*If you are going to a party the cup is always 5 dollars no more no less
*You have to learn to fit all your food in one tiny fridge
*You're number is only 4 digits and even that is hard to remember at times
*You don't call your RA your RA you call her your friend
*You run in to jerks but you probably will never see them again
and finally
*SLEEPING ALL THE TIME IS GREAT!!!

I will talk more about what's going on with my everyday life later on tomorrow but for now I am going to get to bed.