"Tell me do you believe, in the girl that is me, with her feet to your feet, well that's all I need."~Tristan Prettyman
So I just was watching tv and a commercial came on and I had to post about it. They have a guys gone wild dvd set. Seriously could it get any worse. The girls gone wild is bad enough to have guys doing it now is disgusting. What has this world come to. It makes me sad.
Have you ever had a day where it's been crappy with highlights of goodness. Like the stuff you really need to know for a test that you highlight in your textbook, that's good. The rest of the text you have to read, that's crap and you could careless about. That would be my day. Yesterday night was horrible and I don't even want to talk about it. This morning I woke up feeling like I had got hitten head on by a semi and could barely walk. Real great when I've got to make it to my exercise phys. lab. Yup Exercise is in the title of the class meaning we do exercise in the lab. I had to run up a flight of stairs jumping every third step as fast as I could then pedal at my max tension for as hard and fast as I can for 30 seconds. I was pumping out about 1500-2000 watts. It killed my legs that were already dead. Then our T.A. didn't do the stair test right so we had to do it again. Oh did I mention the place where we did the stair test was on the OPPOSITE side of campus. It sucked. Also it was 13 pages for our lab with a crazy amount of calculations. Class after exercise phys was boring and I was cramping up while sitting down during the class.
Then I had to deal with money issues and paperwork at Best Buy for my job. That was a real treat. But the good part came when I finally got the cd I've been looking for and the 0.c. season 3. My first area of highlighter in my life. I then had to go to the mall to pick up some more refills for my wallflower. I stopped in gap to see if they had any more project(red) merchandise in. They had a sweet shirt that was wayyyy too low cut for me in women's but they had a sweet one in men's that was a medium that fit me perfect. It says bo(red) on the front. If you haven't hear of project(red) check it out here....joinred.com It's an amazing thing trying to help out africa with poverty and aids. One day I'll get over there to give my time to the cause but right now I have to be here. So there was highlighter number 2. I went to get my refills and it took forever to get someone to even help me and they couldn't even find the scent I wanted (more boring text). I get home and nobody is here and it's sad and lonely. great stuff huh? Everyone is going to be busy this weekend while I do nothing. But abe called me drunk and very wasted which was another highlighter moment of the night. Hopefully he'll remember he said he was coming to hang out with me tomorrow. now I'm in pain and trying to enjoy my boring text life
this brought me joy yesterday in my day of trials and tribulations from mr. jason mraz.....
If I WERE a Cardboard Cutout…
…I’d run for President with Flat Stanley on my ticket, and then I’d be gay and marry Flat Stanley to help tear down outrageous marriage laws.
…I’d slide under the door of the girl’s locker rooms to remind them to conserve water while brushing their teeth.
…I could probably read the newspaper without ever opening it.
…I’d be curious as to how I was going to handle elimination.
…I would no longer attend Yoga class. Instead, I would go to origami class.
…My wardrobe would probably include cardboard sleeves from Starbucks.
…I’d probably sound like a balloon or blade of grass when I sang.
…Rather than burial or cremation, I’d be recycled.
What would you do?
I'll end with that
p.s. check out tristan prettyman she is Ama-za-zing as they say in benchwarmers
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Tequila and Salt.
"I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain... I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind..."~Augustana
Not much to write about except that I got the job at Best Buy. They just needed to do a drug test and a background check and it's all mine. Sweet huh? oh and it pays pretty nice too and sets me up for a job during the summer. I'm pumped. I've done nothing but sleep this weekend the whole time. I hope I don't have mono again. Playoffs are tomorrow, hopefully they'll let us move back the time an hour so we have our skiiers make it. But I'ev got a headache and I'm going to bed again for the bajillionth time today. I got this in an e-mail from a friend and decided to share it with you
Everything below is 100 percent true.
1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2.At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3.The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be
just like you.
4.A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't
like you.
5.Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6.You mean the world to someone.
7.You are special and unique.
8.Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9.When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10.When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11.Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Believe it they're true....consider me one of your 15 that love you!
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain... I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind..."~Augustana
Not much to write about except that I got the job at Best Buy. They just needed to do a drug test and a background check and it's all mine. Sweet huh? oh and it pays pretty nice too and sets me up for a job during the summer. I'm pumped. I've done nothing but sleep this weekend the whole time. I hope I don't have mono again. Playoffs are tomorrow, hopefully they'll let us move back the time an hour so we have our skiiers make it. But I'ev got a headache and I'm going to bed again for the bajillionth time today. I got this in an e-mail from a friend and decided to share it with you
Everything below is 100 percent true.
1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2.At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3.The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be
just like you.
4.A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't
like you.
5.Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6.You mean the world to someone.
7.You are special and unique.
8.Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9.When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10.When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11.Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Believe it they're true....consider me one of your 15 that love you!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
My goodness....
"Often th etest of courage is not to die but to live."
Last night was a crazy night a recap quick for all...
-Got over to Johnnie after speaking with a friend and gave him his stuff back
-confronted him on the lies
-he grabbed a knife and was going to cut himself
-he goes into his room, i try to grab the knife and get cut on my finger
-talk him out of doing it and hands me the knife
-he freaks out
-we leave and he texts us pretty much a death note
-we call the cops and he goes to the crisis center for help and released later
mentally and emotionally exhausting. It's done and over with this guy and I am never going to speak to him again. It's best for me and even more for him. He needs a lot of help and that help is something I am not going to be able to give to him. He may hate me for what I did last night but at least his parents know about his condition and can push him to get help. I shined a light on something that was hidden in the dark. One day he'll understand why we did what we did, and know that it was because we cared. I have my interview tomorrow and have yet found a top to wear to the interview. I've got shoes i'm borrowing but I still need a top. This weekend is going to be crazy. Tomorrow night Travis is back and there is a costume party for him and the guys he's coming here with. Saturday is Kiley's wedding and the girls swim meet against their biggest competitors. Oh and I need to clean my room. I'm really really ready for the weekend but also need sleep so that is exactly what I am going to do. Definately tell the ones you love them you never know it might make them take a step back from the ledge.
I love you all
Last night was a crazy night a recap quick for all...
-Got over to Johnnie after speaking with a friend and gave him his stuff back
-confronted him on the lies
-he grabbed a knife and was going to cut himself
-he goes into his room, i try to grab the knife and get cut on my finger
-talk him out of doing it and hands me the knife
-he freaks out
-we leave and he texts us pretty much a death note
-we call the cops and he goes to the crisis center for help and released later
mentally and emotionally exhausting. It's done and over with this guy and I am never going to speak to him again. It's best for me and even more for him. He needs a lot of help and that help is something I am not going to be able to give to him. He may hate me for what I did last night but at least his parents know about his condition and can push him to get help. I shined a light on something that was hidden in the dark. One day he'll understand why we did what we did, and know that it was because we cared. I have my interview tomorrow and have yet found a top to wear to the interview. I've got shoes i'm borrowing but I still need a top. This weekend is going to be crazy. Tomorrow night Travis is back and there is a costume party for him and the guys he's coming here with. Saturday is Kiley's wedding and the girls swim meet against their biggest competitors. Oh and I need to clean my room. I'm really really ready for the weekend but also need sleep so that is exactly what I am going to do. Definately tell the ones you love them you never know it might make them take a step back from the ledge.
I love you all
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
beep beep
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." ~Elenor Roosevelt
So sunday night was the culmination of everything between johnnie and I. I went over to his place to get my blanket back and give him his stuff back. I knew he was home but he wouldn't let me in, I even saw him look out his patio door to see who it was... so I sent him a text and he said he wasn't home and didn't have my stuff. What great lies. So I said screw it this is it and went home and wrote him an e-mail telling him that it was over and how much he hurt me. So as of right now he still has my stuff and I still have his, maybe I'll burn it or give it away to someone. I may never talk to him again unless he makes the effort but it's life, i've already moved on. I also got offered to have an interview at best buy on friday afternoon. how sweet is that?? It'd be a couple of days a week and the weekend working in the CD department how much cooler is that. I'd get to be with a passion of mine and get the awesome discount, can't get much better. This week is going okay school wise just a lab exam and reviews for experimental psych on tuesday. As of right now my life is pretty stress free which is amazing!!! The chupacabras are undefeated and we only have one more game to play before play offs so we're pretty much guranteed top spot. Life is sweet. Love hugs and kisses.
So sunday night was the culmination of everything between johnnie and I. I went over to his place to get my blanket back and give him his stuff back. I knew he was home but he wouldn't let me in, I even saw him look out his patio door to see who it was... so I sent him a text and he said he wasn't home and didn't have my stuff. What great lies. So I said screw it this is it and went home and wrote him an e-mail telling him that it was over and how much he hurt me. So as of right now he still has my stuff and I still have his, maybe I'll burn it or give it away to someone. I may never talk to him again unless he makes the effort but it's life, i've already moved on. I also got offered to have an interview at best buy on friday afternoon. how sweet is that?? It'd be a couple of days a week and the weekend working in the CD department how much cooler is that. I'd get to be with a passion of mine and get the awesome discount, can't get much better. This week is going okay school wise just a lab exam and reviews for experimental psych on tuesday. As of right now my life is pretty stress free which is amazing!!! The chupacabras are undefeated and we only have one more game to play before play offs so we're pretty much guranteed top spot. Life is sweet. Love hugs and kisses.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
beautifully broken
Nothing can explain how hurt I have been since saturday last week. I have been beaten down broken up sideways. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest cut up into a million pieces and then stomped on until it was nothing. I have been purposefully hurt by a person who said they loved me. I don't understand this, how can you love me and hurt me like this and not even speak to me anymore. I just want to see him one last time to give him his stuff back, get mine back, end this whole thing, and have closure for myself. I really hope one day he'll allow this, if he cared for me one bit he would but it's not happening. I don't want to end this whole relationship over the internet or an e-mail, it'd be like the post-it note break up on sex and the city, and that is NOT happening. But I have to thank god that I've got friends who are there and supporting me through this especially cory and even Jared, I know suprising but it's a good thing to be on good terms with him again (at least I hope). I am way too compassionate for people and it has gotten to the point where I am constantly getting hurt. I don't understand why other people don't have a care in the world for another person's feelings at all! These songs show my emotions exactly. The first is by Snow Patrol You could be happy. Fits with johnnie perfectly. The second is making me love you by epic hero which shows how pissed off I am. I love epic hero and the song, it's definately helping me through. The lyrics are straight from the lead singer Justin my buddie to my inbox consider yourselves lucky to have these lyrics : ) But I don't know what else to say about this all, but someone please save me from myself.
You Could be Happy by Snow Patrol
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
Making Me Love you by Epic Hero
And I’m tired of the mainstream
And I feel like an outcast
And I don’t fit inside your perfect beautiful routine
There’s a ghost in my closet
Caffeine in my bloodstream
My tell-tale heart don’t have a chance with you
You say what you say
But your mind’s made up
You lead me on and you know it
I play all your games
But I know the score
And I hate you for making me love you
There’s a word to describe this
Some might say that it’s hopeless
And I can’t help thinking you just hurt me out of boredom
I’m a pawn in your kingdom
Make your move, because I’m ready
I can feel you breathing, feel you turn inside my soul
You say what you say
But your mind’s made up
You lead me on and you know it
I play all your games
But I know the score
And I hate you for making me love you
There’s a fine line between
Comedy and tragedy, suffering and ecstasy
The truth just keeps marching on
Grabbing hold of all of me
I’m strung for all the world to see
You Could be Happy by Snow Patrol
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
Making Me Love you by Epic Hero
And I’m tired of the mainstream
And I feel like an outcast
And I don’t fit inside your perfect beautiful routine
There’s a ghost in my closet
Caffeine in my bloodstream
My tell-tale heart don’t have a chance with you
You say what you say
But your mind’s made up
You lead me on and you know it
I play all your games
But I know the score
And I hate you for making me love you
There’s a word to describe this
Some might say that it’s hopeless
And I can’t help thinking you just hurt me out of boredom
I’m a pawn in your kingdom
Make your move, because I’m ready
I can feel you breathing, feel you turn inside my soul
You say what you say
But your mind’s made up
You lead me on and you know it
I play all your games
But I know the score
And I hate you for making me love you
There’s a fine line between
Comedy and tragedy, suffering and ecstasy
The truth just keeps marching on
Grabbing hold of all of me
I’m strung for all the world to see
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Sometimes you're the windsheild and sometimes you're the bug....I'm definitely the bug
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along the bitterness, and I would have stayed up with you all night, had i known how to save a life."~The Fray
This past weekend I got to go home to North Carolina to see my family which was amazing and something I definitely needed. But there was something that happened with Johnnie that caused him to want his space to get over his episode. He won't even talk to me at all anymore, and it hurts. I want to be there for him as a friend and a girlfriend but he doesn't even want to speak to me. It's hard because we were with each other all the time and now to have no communication at all kills me. Everyone says I should just say screw him but I can't this boy has changed my view on life drastically. This whole thing with him has definitely made me feel unwanted and unloved by him. I wish he would understand that I want to help him and I am here for him and care for him but he won't even allow me that chance to tell him. It hurts really bad. I wish I was back with my mom who helped me out and showed that she cared. This week sucks I've got 2 exams, a quiz, and a lab report due. Hell week and everyone is leaving this weekend so I've got the house all to myself. On a good note I get my love sac on Thursday and I can get some of my aggression out on that when trying to break it into pieces. Bad note is that I pulled my hamstring pretty hard core and probably won't play in tomorrow's game. I've started talking to cory and we're good again, and I like it for some reason we always find a way back to each other. He's found a place where he can be completely happy with his life and I'm glad for that. I want it to be the weekend already and it's only Tuesday. My little brother wrote this amazing poem and I love it. He doesn't know this but I love him a lot and wish I could be there to help him through these tough times. I think I'm failing both my brothers as a sister which breaks my heart...I'll make it up to them one day hopefully. Here's my brothers poem...explains my state of emotions the past few days.
The feeling i have
the feeling inside
something i hate
and is ment to hide
A little less Human
A little less me
A little less emotion
although you cant see
It start at the age of three
and progrssed through school
and up to now
and all i know is its not cool
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
although you wont see
Now there are no tears
but not because im to proud to cry
its because i cant
and i dont know why
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
But maybe you will see
now this afliciton i cant control
ive seeked help fom above
its what keeps me alive now
and that thing is love
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
Hope you now will see
~Ian Lux
This past weekend I got to go home to North Carolina to see my family which was amazing and something I definitely needed. But there was something that happened with Johnnie that caused him to want his space to get over his episode. He won't even talk to me at all anymore, and it hurts. I want to be there for him as a friend and a girlfriend but he doesn't even want to speak to me. It's hard because we were with each other all the time and now to have no communication at all kills me. Everyone says I should just say screw him but I can't this boy has changed my view on life drastically. This whole thing with him has definitely made me feel unwanted and unloved by him. I wish he would understand that I want to help him and I am here for him and care for him but he won't even allow me that chance to tell him. It hurts really bad. I wish I was back with my mom who helped me out and showed that she cared. This week sucks I've got 2 exams, a quiz, and a lab report due. Hell week and everyone is leaving this weekend so I've got the house all to myself. On a good note I get my love sac on Thursday and I can get some of my aggression out on that when trying to break it into pieces. Bad note is that I pulled my hamstring pretty hard core and probably won't play in tomorrow's game. I've started talking to cory and we're good again, and I like it for some reason we always find a way back to each other. He's found a place where he can be completely happy with his life and I'm glad for that. I want it to be the weekend already and it's only Tuesday. My little brother wrote this amazing poem and I love it. He doesn't know this but I love him a lot and wish I could be there to help him through these tough times. I think I'm failing both my brothers as a sister which breaks my heart...I'll make it up to them one day hopefully. Here's my brothers poem...explains my state of emotions the past few days.
The feeling i have
the feeling inside
something i hate
and is ment to hide
A little less Human
A little less me
A little less emotion
although you cant see
It start at the age of three
and progrssed through school
and up to now
and all i know is its not cool
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
although you wont see
Now there are no tears
but not because im to proud to cry
its because i cant
and i dont know why
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
But maybe you will see
now this afliciton i cant control
ive seeked help fom above
its what keeps me alive now
and that thing is love
A little less human
A little less me
A little less emotion
Hope you now will see
~Ian Lux
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)