***************WARNING: By me writing in here I am going to be told I'm telling everyone anything and everything. From now on if you don't want to know you can stop reading right now, but there is a right called freedom of speech so I'm going to enjoy it********************
I've got nothing better to do than write these ugly letters Touche, but the glove is tattered, it's frayed in the dirt as if that mattered To lay down and die is easy, it's harder to live for what you believe The dynamite is lit but you're afraid to throw it, There's no room for gray, it's a choice and you know it. It's always something, more important that comes between. Always something, and it adds up to nearly nothing How can you be so shameless? Uncertain and nameless? And I'm cursing every moment I've bartered, trying to figure out how this started. To quit before you fail is easy, it's so convenient not to believe in anything. The fuse is getting shorter and you're still afraid to throw it. When it finally blows, is when you'll finally know it. It's always something, more important that comes between...Always something, and it adds up to nearly nothing. All regrets return to stay, they remember every word you say. And as they turn inside your head, know I consider you...
~Cary Judd
I am super mad and I am going to write this all in here. My roommate Erica can't be single for more than a week in her life. It's a sign I think that she's really that insecure about herself and needs someone to assure that she's really okay. Maybe being on your own isn't a bad thing, i think i would know this... You really need to learn to be on your own, learn who you are as a person. A wise man once said you can not love anything until you truly know who you are and love yourself for being that person. You come into this life on your own and you leave this life on your own. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. Obviously she is not comfortable in her own skin. That does suck. I am so mad right now I am going to talk to Residence life tomorrow and see if I can move out. I'm sick of dealing with all of this dumb shit and drama. I get yelled at for telling this guy nate that she and her boyfriend broke up. He noticed his name was off the stocking and that she was sad so I told him. He asked I'm not going to lie to him about it. So i get this Instant message from erica oh wait you can read it....But she broke up with her boyfriend Mike on the 20th of December and is now dating this other guy Adam which I guess started on the 28th. (I found out all this information from her now boyfriend adam) Wow that's a lot of healing time for you to do especially since you said that you loved mike. Oh and the best part is, she's done this not just to mike but the past 3 boyfriends she has had (if not more) in the past she has broken up with them and come to find out starts dating a new guy in less than a week. How can you trust anyone like that? You're just a person filling a place until some better guy walks on by and then you're dumped. But here's the conversation...
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:25:43 PM): are you and putz official now?
ESkierGirl (10:26:33 PM): umm yeah we are
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:26:50 PM): thanks for telling me
ESkierGirl (10:27:18 PM): you knwo what aubs i'msorry sometimes i cant tell you things because yougo and tell others right away
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:27:28 PM): since i talk to everyone
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:27:34 PM): thanks a lot
ESkierGirl (10:27:35 PM): like telling nate that mike and i broke up
ESkierGirl (10:27:40 PM): it wasnt even 2 hours
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:27:40 PM): he asked
ESkierGirl (10:27:41 PM): come on
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:27:46 PM): screw that
ESkierGirl (10:29:36 PM): but you didnt have to tell nate that
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:29:49 PM): he noticed the stocking name was gone and asked
ESkierGirl (10:29:59 PM): and you could have said i cant talk about it
ESkierGirl (10:30:01 PM): or ask erica
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:30:04 PM): i did
ESkierGirl (10:30:05 PM): shes right there in the room
ESkierGirl (10:30:23 PM): well i'm sorry it still hurt me
UNC Soccerchic14 (10:30:24 PM): but fuck it you're never going to believe me anyways I'm always the wrong one so whatever
Great best friend I have there folks. I know when I'm being lied to and I see right through it. One more reason for me to move to north carolina. Thank you erica for making my decision that much easier!!!!
Oh yeah and i found out why erica and bejya both started talking to me online, they read my blog. HAHAHA read right through that one too, nice job guys better luck next time and don't make it so obvious and maybe try to make me feel a little better about my so-called "friends"
Matt and I had a great convo tonight at dinner and it's definitely made my view on things a little better....No worries till you have to deal with it. I'm gone in less than 5 days to North Carolina, at least it's warm and green there with fun people.
Wow I feel a lot better. I'll end with some Guster
"I find a need to be a demon. A demon cannot be hurt When I speak I cross my fingers Will you know you’ve been deceived? I find a need to be the demon A demon cannot be hurt."~Demons
1 comment:
Alright Aubs. A comment, all for you.
First and foremost, I've noted that some girls do this. They stay with their boyfriend as long as they can, then break up with him as soon as there is another potential guy waiting. The deal with her not wanting to tell "Nate" was that she could possibly use him as a backup if they current situation (with this new guy "Putz?") didn't work. I've seen this enough, and sadly using the "bail method" rarely works.
Although, she may claim that she's fine, and that there was nothing between her and this first guy (Mike?), but in essense, she's had it planned all out to date someone else.
It's not inevitable what happened. Also, people are able to read one another easier than some can hide. Why should someone need to mask their emotions and keep them in the dark from everyone? Wouldn't it be easier if things were out in the open?
You were fine telling "Nate" the details, since he has obviously noted something, and he needed to know. It must have been harder than imagined to hide the breakup, and he felt that he needed to know rather than making a judgement. (Amazing an interested/concerned guy will ask rather than make his move.)
Also, (even though I'm not sure with the relationship between "Nate" and "Erica", but I'm guessing) that he was concerned. Maybe he felt the need to comfort her that they had broken up. No one likes to find out three months later than they had broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
As I sat and analyzed, I've realized more girls are beginning to turn this way. But this is what I see. It's not like my opinion would matter, but indeed, something needs to be voiced. Right on for free speech.
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