So this is it!! I made it to the whole year. not much to say but this. I guess we are fans of this time of year, all the fuss and wonder about midnight, that maybe things can change, maybe things can be new...

Happy New Year, let this one be the best it can be.

PS: "A long December and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." - Counting Crows

I'm starting to feel sick and I don't like it. I'm going to bed and I will work on my year in review as so as I can. But for now I'm going to bed and sleeping as late as possible.

The month you are supposed to express love on one day...or my birthday month!

FEBRUARY!!

So the first was the day that I turned another year older...23 would be the number this year. It wasn't anything to write home about. Most people forgot about it because it was the Superbowl the same day.
This month was a tough month...lots of down time and sadness. I was really starting to miss my life I had before I moved down. This month was what I would call the dark ages of the year. It was sad, lonely and gloomy.
I started tutoring Connor and had a form of income while best buy was still taking forever to get me in.
Life was crazy trying to adjust to living with a whole new set of people. It was even harder having a little brother pass out in your bed every Friday night. I guess he missed me.
There were 25 random things about me that you all learned.
I was able to go to the circus with my little brother and it was so much fun and much needed to get out of my depression of the move.
I was dealing with the craziness of what my relationship with the rockstar was. It was tough.
I made a new friend that I absolutely adore and love so much now...Miss Rachel!!
I had a lot of cavities that I had to get fixed this month, not fun.
I meet a lot of people who I call friends now by going to daystar and that makes me happy thinking about that.
That was it for the month of my birth....here's to this one in 2010 being much better : )

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day but a good one. Filled with love from friends, family, puppies, and music. Couldn't really ask for more. I would be doing February's recap tonight but i'm just too dang tired. I will do my best to get it done tomorrow.

January 2009 Recapalapa

So what happened in the world of Aubrey the first month of the year. Here's a look back at some of the highs and lows of that month.

*The first was the day that I decided that I was going to do a new years resolution and blog each day for a year. And look where it's gotten me now.
*It was the last month I would spend living in Green Bay. It was a winter ice storm and a puppy trying to learn how to walk on it.
*I was introduced to new neighbors who lived above me also known as the elephants. I miss those guys and hope they are doing well over in Iraq.
*Oprah's best life series on sex....not something anyone wants to experience.
*I spent a lot of time with the Rock star and it was interesting seeing where we were going.
*I un-graduated and graduated from college all in one day all over again, scary and crazy but I have the diploma now : )
*The cold and the winter weather was starting to wear on me and you all were introduced to one of my best friends Icky.
*Light scribe is amazing!!
*Obama made it into office officially.
*It was a month of a lot of last things: Last basketball games, last team meeting, last day at best buy 028, last night at old Chicago, and last day in the city of green bay.
*It was a rough month saying goodbyes because i royally suck at them.
*I made my journey to North Carolina through an ice storm and all but made it home safely.
*Eastern Time zone is still something I haven't wrapped my head around.

Over all January was a lot of goodbyes and ends to things that I really didn't want to end. But it also brought new beginnings of things into my life. It was a okay beginning to a very interesting year....

Today was another crazy day at work. I wasn't expecting it. But the night ended with a movie with Devin and hanging out chatting in the car until 4 am chatting. It's times like that that make me smile.....work tomorrow and the start of the recap of the year. Be excited very excited!!!

Hope everyone had a merry christmas. I know I did. Just remember those who might not have family around and love on them too. You never know how much it might mean to them. Night all work at 7 am yay!

Merry christmas eve one and all. Just remember to love those who are around you. Forgive those who you need to. Have an attittude of gratitude : )

Devin and I had a blast on our christmas cheer adventure. I don't have much more to say about that but bed time for me!

work was a day from hell. Nobody was scheduled to work in the camera department after 6 pm. Guess what I got to do....work in the dang department. I had to cover it until we closed. I also then had to close down the department. Oh and I had to make sure my own department was closed down as well. This girl did not get home until 12:40. I only have one more day of hell. At least tomorrow I have something to look forward to. An adventure of Christmas cookies and elf with Devin. Hopefully that will bring me some holiday cheer because I lost it all today at work.

The question that I am starting to not like. What do I want for christmas....I don't know but maybe I should figure that one out. Man this year is almost over and that means this blog will come to an end. I know I haven't written insightful things every day but dang it I've done well for my first new years resolution I've actually completed. I'll have a month and years in review the next couple of days before the end of this crazy adventure. Hey guess what I get to do on Wednesday night....go on an adventure for holiday spirit, hopefully it will be fun. Off to bed two more days of work then a break for a few days thank goodness!!

I had the fun time of introducing a 23 year old to what a snow ball fight was all about today after work. I did get cold and wet but it was so much fun. There were some shots to the face and a aching jaw but it's just a battle wound. It was definitely a highlight of my day, the snowball fight and going to Panera to eat and chat after. Work was crazy busy even though there was ice every where this morning. Some people I don't understand the demand for crappy laptops. I can't get into the holiday spirit for some reason. I can't even think of what I really want for Christmas. I know it's driving my mom insane because she just wants me to pick something and be done. I just don't know...I guess we'll have to see what I find when I actually take time to go shopping. I have to close tomorrow with a truck that is not one but two full trailers of stuff. Should be fun being I can't go into overtime at all this week.

Packers lost in a heart breaking last second play by the steelers. I was really hoping we'd get that wild card spot. Good news is that the Vikings lost today to the Panthers....who knew! Panthers still suck and the packers are always going to be better. But overall I can go to bed with a smile on my face from all the fun that happened.

People are so weird when it snows down here. Everyone was scared of this snow and all of a sudden they decide to come to best buy to shop!!! CRAZY bad day. to the point of not even talking about it bad....so I'm going to bed and waking up at 6:45 am for work go me. Could I find someone to sweep me off my feet and take me away from all of it.

WE GOT SNOW and lots of it! Christmas time is now here!! Oh my goodness you have no idea how excited I am to play in it. I probably won't even have to go into work either because nobody can drive in this stuff. YAY SNOW!!!!!!!!

Oh my god I thought I would be done by 11:45....nope. Work is killing me and I'm so close to quitting it's not even funny. I need to sleep and wake up for work tomorrow and possible SNOW!!!

Your love is a song

So so so sorry for not posting yesterday. I was not feeling the greatest and feel asleep at 7pm and slept all the way through until noon today. It's my body's way of making me catch up with myself. I found this song today and I loved it. Your love is a song by switchfoot. I'm off to bed I have to go to the dermatologist tomorrow and not looking forward to it.

I hear you breathing in
another day begins

the stars are falling out
my dreams are fading now, fading out

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

your love is a symphony
all around me
running through me

your love is a melody
underneath me
running to me

your love is a song

the dawn is fire bright
against the city lights

the clouds are glowing now
the moon is blacking out

I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open

your love is a song

with my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken

We have a charlie brown christmas tree...its kind of sad looking. hopefully it will look a little bit better with water. I'm tired and not feeling well but this day off was WONDERFUL!!

I finally have two days off and guess what not a chance of me fully blogging tonight. Sorry I'm sleeping.

I had a very very very crappy day at work and I'm just done.....just absolutely done.

Trying to get some sleep before opening the store tomorrow after closing it tonight. good song to listen to and check it out.

Sir, excuse my rudeness
but I believe that I know somethin' that you don't
because you are talkin' down to me, like you think I know nothing.
And I wont allow it, this promise prowess, though i respect you, even through the prejudice.
You're blind leadin' blind's not hard to see, yeah

You gotta believe
Oh yeah
Don't fear, don't break it
You gotta be free (Ah, Ah)
I hope your blinded eyes will see

You can ask me anythin'
I may not know the answers to everythin'
Nor I won't before I can do is speak from my heart
A vapid sentiment
And I won't be clever, with your endeavor
All tryin' to prove me wrong, I will remember
You're blind leadin' blind's not hard to see, yeah

You gotta believe
Oh yeah
Don't fear, don't break it
You gotta be free (Ah, Ah)
I hope your blinded eyes will see

You gotta believe
Oh yeah
D-Don't fear, don't break it
You gotta be free (Ah, Ah)
I hope your blinded eyes will see, Yeah

Ah Ah

Whatever the cost, whatever I lost
Whatever I gained, whatever I fought
I knew I was tested, and I am the furthest
From what you think it is worth it

You gotta believe
Oh alright
Don't fear, don't break it
You gotta be free (Ah, Ah)
I hoped your blinded eyes will see

You gotta believe
Yeah
D-D-Don't fear, don't break it
You gotta be free (You gotta believe)
Don't, don't let him hold you down

C'mon, c'mon, sing it

Whoah Whoah, Whoah Whoah, Whoah Whoah
Whoah Whoah, Whoah Whoah, Whoah Whoah

Yeah

Oh, I hope my eyes will see
You gotta believe
Whoah Whoah, Whoah Whoah, Yeah

new phone and new things to discover

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
It rolls in from the sea

My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love

They say that things just cannot grow
Beneath the winter snow,
Or so I have been told.

They say were buried far,
Just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
Cause you're not where you belong;
Inside my arms.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum

I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
And life will find a way.

I'll be your harvester of light
And send it out tonight
So we can start again.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
Cause you're not where you belong;
Inside my arms.

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon
It rolls in from the sea.

My love a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?

I'm feeling out of sync with life. What caused it, I don't know. What can I do to fix it, not sure. But I know that I don't like it. I'm tired and time to pass out.

I WANT SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

ON FiRe!!!!!!

I am so EXHAUSTED. I was told today by my manger that today needed to be the day that we murder Brett Favre in selling computers....so I did just that. Today I produced at least 3,000 in pure money for Best Buy ALONE. It's probably more but the one thing I can track is my black tie and I sold those like they were the best thing on earth (which really they are...) But I dealt with crazy people all day asking for a 299 laptop that is a piece of garbage. Hopefully we'll be sold out by tomorrow and I won't have to deal with it. We were already 161 percent to our budget for the day when I left at 5:30. Who knows what they will do with us closing at 8 pm, nothing but good things. So not very insightful but I will work on one tomorrow when I have more time before passing out.

5 days until I get a normal phone back!!!

man am I tired and have been working too much. It's time for bed but tomorrow will bring an inspiring or maybe just entertaining blog. I've made a promise to myself. Night all

Oh man is a vacation becoming necessary by the day. I am so SICK of closing day after day after day......but good news there might be snow in the forecast for tomorrow, how awesome would that be?!

I have had to watch Maddie the new puppy during my days off. Not the greatest thing in the world. I wasn't able to get the things done that I needed to. Dang. So I've gotta work tomorrow night and watch the dog in the morning. Thank goodness my mom and little bro come home from DC tomorrow. I'm off to bed night all.

The puppy is being crazy and whining whenever she is in her kennel and won't pee. It's getting exhausting alone with her.

Still needing to get a massage to feel better...I'm so exhausted, work tomorrow.

Today we got a new puppy in the family. Her name is Madison Claire. She's named after Madison and eau claire Wisconsin. She's super cute and furry and TINY. It's no Lucy but she'll grow on me soon enough....

I hit my head on something and it hurts really bad. It's gotten to be a pretty big bump....oh no!

my body has been through a war and I'm burned out from working at best buy.....

2 am was my wake up and when I woke up my brothers were still up playing video games. CRAZY. Worked and did my supervisors job all morning. CRAZY. Having 3 monster energy drinks and a 5 hour energy shot. CRAZY Being sore all over CRAZY. Wanting to crawl into bed and never come out CRAZY. Having to go back there for another round tomorrow CRAZY. Over all a very crazy day....

So I woke up today at 12 pm to screaming kids out in the park after going to bed around 6 am. I got up saw the packers to play on tv down here and fell asslep during the second half. I woke up by my family to come and eat thanksgiving dinner. I am now in bed going back to sleep to wake up by 2:45 am to get ready and go to Best Buy again for the day from HELL!! ahhh I'm going to need a giant massage after these days are done.

It is now 530 in the morning and I just got done with work at best buy. I was supposed to leave at 10:45 pm and labor is bad. Oops!!! bed time to wake up in less than 24 hours to be right back there.

So I just wrote a long long email to a boy who is being stupid to my best friend. So I'm exhausted from writing and can't think of anything fun to write about. Just know that my job has been nothing but stress today and tomorrow I'm probably going to freak out on someone tomorrow because of this HORRIBLE planning. Just know Jess I'm going to fight for you no matter what, love you lots and YOU will make it through this. YOU are not someone that a person can just get over in a minute, hour, day, month or year.....LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!!

i'm addicted to borderlands the game. It's so much fun and I don't have enough time in my life to play it....

I like lazy days where I don't have to do anything. It is so stress free and unlike my normal stress filled work days. I'm off to pick up Ian tomorrow at NCSU which will be the first time I will be able to see the place. Hopefully he'll be nice unlike tonight on the phone. Man I'm tired and I'm off to bed.

So I'm probably going to get punched, stabbed, or shot the day after thanksgiving. It's going to be really bad and hopefully I can make it through this next week...argh I'm frustrated.

crazy crazy day from working, cops being called on us at a nail salon, to my dad being in the hospital for surgery. i'm exhausted and tired and want to sleep forever. Is that okay?

I passed out before I could blog I'm sorry.....big day today I'll be writing more later tonight.

I'm too tired to blog and have a lot to do on my day off.

today was a good day. I got what I wanted done. I woke up and got on my way to making the day a great day. So my mom and dad were out of town so I was just me in the giant house and I didn't want it to be that way so I left the house and got out. I went to Best Buy to buy the album from John Mayer and from OneRepublic. Both are amazing. I've had the Battle Studies album from John Mayer for a week and love it. I've only had my hands on the Wake Up from OneRepublic for less than 24 hours and I already love it. It's so good, and they happen to mention their fans in the liner notes unlike Mr. Mayer. I also purchased a game that I've been waiting to come out forever! I then went and started to be prepared for my 3rd annual sending of Christmas cheer to everyone I love. I actually found some really cool stuff that I hope everyone loves. I'm going to start early on this so it makes it to everyone in time. When is too early to send Christmas cheer in the mail? I then went and hung out with my little bro we got the homework done right away after school and I let him play the new game. My buddy Rachel came over for dinner and it was good to catch up with her. I also got to talk to my love back in GB also known as my best friend Jess. I hope everything turns out okay dear! I'm sure it will. But I'm tired and had a busy day. Tomorrow is another work day....booo. Night all love you!

Man do I miss my old store in GB. Things went so perfectly. Here not so much. I have a feeling there is going to be a major shake up and it's not going to be good for a lot of people. But might bring new light to a store that desperately needs it!

Weather

So I miss the cold weather already. It's kind of sad that I'm able to walk to my car in the middle of November with just my t-shirt and jeans. I want my warm hoodies, poofy vest, scarf, and nice warm ski hat. But i don't think those things will be busted out anytime soon. I remember last black Friday freezing my butt off scraping the ice off of my window, just to get into work. Then getting there with my mittens and hot chocolate freezing our butts off in the install bay for the team huddle. I don't think that's something I'm going to encounter this year. Unless there is a freak weather system that comes through. I think since I haven't seen frost yet here in the city that I'm not in the Christmas mood. It just feels like a normal September or October day....not less than a month and a half away from Christmas. I think my cure would be SNOW!!!!! Maybe I'll make it happen some how. Pray to God that we get snow so I can play in it and feel like it's Christmas. Blow up snowmen on grass just don't do it for me and my holiday cheer. Maybe once I start my annual tradition of Christmas cards it'll maybe help with my holiday cheer for the year. Tuesday will be the review of John Mayer's new album. I've had my hands on it for about a week and let me tell you...it's GREAT and completely different from anything else he's recorded. But that's for Tuesday.

Hope you all had a wonderful Sunday and life is treating you well.

another evening that I come home exhausted and have to turn around and open tomorrow. Time to fall back asleep....

My goodness how fast this month has already flown by. I can't believe that the most dreaded day of the year for retail is coming up fast. Don't get me wrong it goes by super fast and I get as many energy drinks I want that day. BUT I does mean I have to go to bed super early and make my own coffee because Starbucks isn't open at 3 am. It also means that I have to be out of the store at midnight on Wednesday night no later. So setting up and being prepared is going to be huge. The whole computer department is going to be CRAZY. I should start working on folders already but then again I've got other stuff to do. I haven't seen my lil' bro Connor at work in over a week and it makes me sad. He sent me a text message saying he missed me and he's sad we haven't worked together. That's the down side of having your full timers only work their minimum 32 hours a week and having your labor be absolute crap. I closed the department after 9 tonight by myself I didn't get out of there until 10:45. (we closed at 10) This was not fun. It's only going to get worse I get to close every freakin' night next week except my two days off and Sunday. I am starting to HATE closing......argh. Oh well at least we're getting our stuff together. If only we could get some good guys or gals into our department that know their stuff. It seems like our managers have a tool gauge and anyone who is a giant loser gets the job. It's the smart ones that get lost through the cracks sadly. This store is crazy bad......if only I could become manager! Time to sleep I work 11:30 to 8 tomorrow....it's going to be a very long and stressful day.

I am going back to the real world tomorrow with having to work. My three days off was great but doesn't help pay for things. I'm super tired. I passed out watching tv at 930 tonight and now I'm going back to sleep now. I'm sorry this isn't more exciting but that's the deal for now. Sweet dreams all.

I'm way too tired to write or think. Other than the fact that I am SICK OF IT RAINING HERE!!!!

GREAT AMAZING AWESOME SHOW!! It felt like it was only 20 of us there that was at the show cause of the pit we got to be in. So great I loved it. We even had the chance to hear the sound check and talk to Shawn. I'm super tired and probably don't have a voice tomorrow but it was so worth it. Oh I got a pic from Adam and the set list from Mickey. Too bad the old 40 year old ladies above the pit wanted them. They also were planning on killing me if they wouldn't have gotten drum sticks thrown to them at the end of the show. HAHAHA night world

So it's crazy tomorrow night I'll be back with the guys I absolutely love. *YAY YAY YAY* Those guys would be Maroon 5. I'm going to Virginia Tech which is going to be very interesting to see where the worlds worst school shooting occurred. It was such a sad thing that happened that horrible day and to step foot where it happened is kind of scary. But I am so excited to see them play and hear the new stuff that is going to be on the album next year. oh and even more awesomeness to my 3 days off John Mayer's new album already leaked onto the interwebs and guess what I've got it and I'm playing it....let me say it is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!

What if this storm ends and I don't see you

I worked from 7am to 6 pm tonight and I am mentally and physically wiped. On Tuesday I will be able to see my future husband and his band play which makes me super duper excited. I've got 3 days off in a row and this girl is PUMPED!!! Not much to write tonight other than certain people can't handle the truth because of how raw and honest it is. These people need to grow up and deal with it. Oh and I made an invite for my one and only gift I want for my birthday. My friends from back home to come and visit me. I really hope I'll be able to see some of them : )

I have to be to work by 645 am tomorrow to work until 545 pm. I'm going to shoot myself this whole thing is crazy!! I'm so ready for my vacation on tuesday.

I think I forgot to blog yesterday i'm not sure though. Oh well. The next 48 hours are going to be very busy lots and lots of work and hopefully lots of sleep so I'm not going to crash.

Sink Or Swim

So it's been awhile and long awaited by the one person who actually reads my blog. An actual in depth blog.....so here it goes.

I recently haven't had much of inspiration for me to write anything meaningful, but tonight something finally popped up in my life that made me want to write.

Why is it that some people who we love and trust the most are the ones that hurt us that much more? It's the people in our lives that you would go to bat for no matter what, that turn around and start hitting you with that same bat. It's like they have all the tools to push every button and they push those buttons just because they can. That's not being a friend AT ALL. I recently dealt with a friend of mine that liked to push every button I had to get me angry. I've finally just let him go out of my life and moved on. Did it suck at the beginning, yup. Do I miss him now, not really. Do I feel like I'm in a better place in my life now, definitely. We don't need those button pushers in our lives, it's a waste of valuable time that you could be using on something else more important.

I have had a friend of mine who has been going through hell and I wish that I could do something about it. But the thing is, there isn't much that I could do or say to make it better. Other than me being there in person and getting her away from the entire situation for a bit, and of course lots of cuddling while watching TV. It's really only going to be time and comfort in me just being there that would help. I of all people hate hearing that time heals all wounds. This is so true but those impatient people out there, like me don't like that. But I got off topic.

The people that we let inside the walls of our heart are there for a reason. I think some people forget why we've let them into that special place in our lives. We should remind those people why we love and care for them. It serves more than one purpose, it makes the ones you love feel amazing and even yourself because you are being generous with your love. It's a real bitch though when the people you thought you knew turn out to be someone in a costume hiding their true self. Getting past the loss of the person who you thought they were is really hard. You want to fight to make it the way the person use to be, but you can't. It's always something big that causes us to look back and see where we should be thankful for those who we have now in our lives.

So it comes down to this. I am really thankful for those friends out there that look out for me...you know who you are. You should be just as thankful for the friends you have in your life doing the same. I'll leave you with this amazing quote from a great movie. I find it fitting

"you can be as mad as an angry dog at the way things went. you can swear and curse the fates...but when it comes to the end, you have to let go..."

i'm tired and can't really sleep argh..

another sad loss for the packers...we looked better than we did last game though. I kind of wish I would be able to find the love of my life at 21 and be happily married. Some days though only some. Man do I miss my friends back home.....

lots and lots of rain on halloween...not a big fan unless i'm jumping in the puddles that the rain makes. I'm tired and sick of work, very sick of it!

Halloween is crazy but not as much as the traffic that is around this dang city

My five live TV segments went great! I only screwed up a little bit on the ereaders but other than that everyone has said it was GREAT and I knocked it out of the park. Once it gets online I'll try to post it. I finally got my slide show working on my Windows 7 background and I love it! Time so sleep and get to working tomorrow.

I am tired and have to wake up at 445 am to get ready for my live 5 segment tv shoots starting at 615 eeeeeeek

Today was my day off. I was going to go on an adventure but then it started to rain and my mom had taken my car....so we ended up going to have dessert at Mimi's and saw my wonderful friends there. I then came home and took a major nap while installing my free copy of Window's 7! so far so good with the program we'll see in a few weeks.

So for some reason it wouldn't let me post last night....the site was down for maintenance or something. So I'll do two posts today...I'll make it up some how.

blah blah blah...

For some reason my 23 year old body is acting like it is way older than that. My knees and legs killed me today after work and I'm just wiped when I come home. It's pretty pathetic that all I do is get home, lay down, and play the one video game I like. Then I wake up and do it all over again the next day. I am going to need to take a vacation or something. Go some where warm and just relax with a book and the sun and maybe a massage or two. Man being a big kid sucks.

I really wish that my friends would come down here and visit me. I understand that they are busy and money is tight right now but I've been up to Green Bay twice since I moved now. Nobody has come here yet....maybe just maybe for my birthday they all could come and surprise me. That would make EVERYTHING so much more amazing than that crappy birthday that I had last year.

I guess homecoming is this weekend for North Carolina A&T and there are going to parties every where at every time of day. I am not quite sure what to expect with it all, but I might just hide from it.

More inspiration.

Amazing....and so true

You have been given a direct order to rock the fuck out. Rock out like you were just given the last rock and roll album on earth and the minutes are counting down to flames. Rock out like you just won both showcase showdowns. Rock out like the streets are empty except for you, your bicycle and your headphones. Rock out like your lips, which are placed onto a breakdancing muse with legs that go all the way up. Rock out like you’ll never have to open a textbook again. Rock out like you get paid to disturb the peace. Rock out like music is all that you got. Rock out like you’re standing on a rooftop and the city’s as loud and glowing as a river below you. Rock out like the plane is going down, there are 120 people on board, and 121 parachutes. Rock out like the streets and the books are all on fire and the only way it can be extinguished is by doin’ the electric slide. Rock out like it’s Saturday afternoon and Monday is a national holiday. Rock out like somebody’s got a barrel pointed at your temple saying ‘Rock out like your life depended on it, fool,‘ because it does. Rock out like your eyes are fading but you still got your ears. But you don’t know for how long so rock out like 5 o’clock time, make pop-in-lot time. Rock out like you got pants full of tokens and nothing to do but everything. Rock out like you are the international ski-ball champion of the entire universe. Rock out like you just escaped an evil orphanage to join a Russian circus. Rock out like your hero is fallen and you are spinning your limbs until they burst into a burning fire of remembrance. Rock out like you’re enslaved in the south and dancing is all that you have to know who you are. Rock out like your dead grandfather just came back to take a drive with you in your new car. Rock out like the table is full. Rock out like the neighbors are away. Rock out like the walls won’t fall but, dammit, you’re going to die trying to make them. Rock out like the stereo’s volume knob is the figure 8 of infinity instead of merely numbers. Rock out like it’s raining outside and you’ve got a girl to run through it with. Rock out like you’re playing football! Football in the mud and your washing machine is not broken. Rock out like you throwing your window open on your honeymoon because you want the whole world to know what love is. Rock out like you just got a book published. Rock out like you just went to your high school reunion to find everyone, even the women, are all overweight and bald, except for the former homecoming queen, who you just found out, got divorced from her impotent husband and only has eyes for.. YOU! Rock out like you just got a date with Heidi Klum. Rock out like a shadow man passes behind you, drops you to your knees. You’re buckling in sweat, cold metal’s pushed to your forhead, the trigger’s pulled and the gun jams. Rock out like you got an empty appointment book, and a full tank of gas. Rock out like Jimi has returned carrying brand new guitar strings. Rock out like the mangos are in season. Rock out like the record player won’t skip. Rock out like this was the last weekend, like these were the last words, like you don’t ever want to forget how.

-Anis Mojgani

Descibes so many people

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well I guess I'll make my own way
It's the circle, I mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
We're not the same (No!)
Oh we're not the same
Yeah, the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good
It's good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

And this is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person, but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

FOR CLARIFICATION!!!

I was informed by a certain smarty pants that I forgot a day yesterday. Why? Because I posted a blog last night past midnight and it put it as Wednesday. So for those who are really counting this will be for WEDNESDAY'S blog. Not much to it but guess what I'm tired and Windows 7 comes out tomorrow and this girl has to open.....Great night having fun with Jordan and sadly losing to my mom in a tie breaker of phase 10.

my throat really hurts....i need some ice cream or something. work and hanging out with Jordan should be a fun day

Love this song it's great...tired and sick so not much is coming from my brain tonight.

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back
Don't try to follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See, I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes...

And run from them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Travelin' endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact, they follow me
And we just go in circles...

And now I'm told that this is life
That pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it

Would someone care to classify
Our broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on
And run to them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh, you are not useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Travelin' endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles

this makes my week...man do I miss her : (

Jess said...

i say....that you move to appleton :)

you can work at 27 with me.

and we can watch tv, and be merry.

i love you and miss you a ton. more than you possibly know.

I need a vacation longer than 2 days ASAP. Argh it's the holiday season too....aka hell for those working in retail. This is me now: tired, sick, exhausted, and sore. I've gotta be back to the big blue box by 9 am tomorrow for 9 hours. I may just have to stop at Caribou on my way in and get a HUGE hot apple spice so I can make it through.

It's getting cold here, but it's going to go back to the 70's. I kind of like the cold it makes it feel more like winter. I work to much end of story.

forced to stay 2 hours past my time to leave at work....not a happy camper!

I really miss my friends back home. Big time. I miss the fact that I could have Jess over at any point in time just to watch tv and we'd be happy. I miss Icky and all his crazy grrs that he made and how he loved on me no matter what. I miss Tay Tay and all his packer talk and being his psych. I miss Tara and all her hippie awesomeness and artisitic abilities she had. I miss Matty and his weird self that he is. I miss Shell and having her right in the next room up until 4 am. Gosh I miss everyone so much. I hope one day I will be able to find those people in my life down here but as of today I haven't. : ( Maybe it's a sign that I should go back to where I was planted??

mmmmm sleep

What a long day.....thank goodness for my two days off starting now!!! I need sleep and not going to waste time.

Man counting a bunch of things and scanning EVERYTHING in the department was not fun. I punched out at 2:54 am. I have to be back there in the afternoon tomorrow...then it's two days off wahoo!!

i'm tired and exhausted but have to stay up late because of stupid product inventory tomorrow night at the blue box....argh.

i am me. take it or leave it. I will not change because of your idea of who I should be. Plain and simple.

Editor in Chief Takes Over

I have taken control over Aubrey's blog because I can no longer stay silent about STD. Many suffer with this problem with symptoms beginning in High School. It is currently running rampant in a big box store where people wear blue. This problem can cause rational people to loose their minds. The only way to fight this problem is for these people to pull their heads out of their ass and face the problem head on. The STD that I'm talking about is STOP THE DRAMA. If you hear something, don't take it as the truth unless you can verify the facts. If you have a problem with someone, talk to them directly rather than spreading incorrect information. Drama makes you look like an idiot. It also hurts others and that is just unacceptable. How can these people take others feelings for granted? So much energy is wasted on negative drama. Lies will catch up with you and bite you in the butt. Many of these suffers I have met and I want them to know how disappointed I am in you. In other words shut your fucking mouth and grow up. So JUST STOP THE DRAMA!!!!!

killing zombies is very therapeutic....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I want to scream!!!
Jason mraz is so amazing and said everything i couldn't.

Transformation is my favorite game and in my experience, anger and frustration are the result of you not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life. Being fake about anything creates a block inside of you. Life can’t work for you if you don’t show up as you. It’ll weigh heavy in your stomach when you sense something isn’t being said. It eventually turns itself into stress, which unattended explodes in the form of anger. Many people ignore themselves in a situation and look for other people and circumstances to blame, but anger and frustration form within. Your thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions and attitudes create the picture of your life. Draw it well.

Frustration and Love can’t exist in the same place at the same time, so get real and start doing what you would rather be doing in life. Love your life. All of it. Even the heavy shit that happened to you when you were 8. All of it was and IS perfect.

Last night was heartbreaking and I didn't have anything to say after that game.

what a long and exhausting day. I don't like morning meetings they suck

My ipod is missing.....if found please contact me. My ears miss hearing the wonderful sounds that it lets out. 7 am morning meeting tomorrow and I'm not happy about it.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Sometimes people don't understand what respect really means....it bothers me. You should treat people how you would like to be treated. Would I like to be a jerk to everyone? No. So lets look at what the definition of respect is...
RESPECT
-(usually preceded by `in') a detail or point; 'it differs in that respect'
-esteem: the condition of being honored (esteemed or respected or well regarded); 'it is held in esteem'; 'a man who has earned high regard-an attitude of admiration or esteem; 'she lost all respect for him'
-deference: a courteous expression (by word or deed) of esteem or regard; 'his deference to her wishes was very flattering'; 'be sure to give my respects to the dean'
-obedience: behavior intended to please your parents; 'their children were never very strong on -obedience'; 'he went to law school out of respect for his father's wishes'
-regard highly; think much of; 'I respect his judgement'; 'We prize his creativity'
-regard: a feeling of friendship and esteem; 'she mistook his manly regard for love'; 'he inspires -respect'
-show respect towards; 'honor your parents!'"

I think if we all knew what was supposed to be respect the world would be a better place. We should be loving and caring of others and this worlds is not that. Step by step, breath by breath, we should be exuding love towards others and just as important ourselves. Without respect and love this world isn't worth being around. So try to be a better person today and show that you love and respect someone. It may be something small like holding the door or something big like flowers and candy, but do something, anything. Try to make this world a better place than what it is. Love and peace

Lightening Strike

I'm not sure how I'm suppose to take all of this in. I know I was told that there may be changes and new locations but it was a once in a blue moon mention. This time it seems that it's going to be a big thing. It's a weird situation that I am going to be put in and it eerily feels familiar. I don't like it. I know what I did back then but is that something I want to do now? I feel like things are just starting to look up and be normal in my life, of course this is thrown my way. I just hope and pray that everything ends up okay for my family. I know what Ian will be going through, well sort of. I know what kind of position it puts everyone in and it's not fun. There's a lot running through my head on what to do. I might just need a vacation from it all....

"What if this storm ends?
And leaves us nothing
Except a memory
A distant echo

I want pinned down
I want unsettled
Rattle cage after cage
Until my blood boils..."

I was complimented today by a very cute guy at work today about my eyes. It was great and I also was told I have a big butt by another guy...I guess that's a good thing down here?

Today was a BEAUTIFUL fall day here in NC. It was what I like to call the perfect type of weather. Blue skies enough warmth to wear shorts and a tee during the day and then a hoodie at night. I kind of like the fact that I don't have to worry about bundling up for the crazy winters that Wisconsin had to offer. I'm excited to look cute and warm all at once. Unlike in Wisconsin where the more layers you had the better. Puffy vest and a hoodie all winter, I can take that.

Oh and I found the wonderfulness that Pandora is online. Man is it awesome. I also still am wanting an iphone even more now that my 30 gb ipod is full. That 32 gb one for 299 is looking pretty awesome. Christmas gifts like that are much appreciated : )

Tonight it was proven that Connor and I are both THE BEST at guitar hero. We are unstoppable in anything we do, guitar hero, work, you name it Frick and Frack will take you down!

Planning, organizing, expectations, set in stone...

I was trying to think of something wonderful to write today when driving from work. I wasn't sure what to write but it then hit me later on in the evening...why do people make plans? I'm not talking about plans to hang out but it can be put into this. We plan ahead for our day, our week, our year, our life. We are constantly looking ahead to what we are going to be doing. Plans to be married to the love of your life by 26 with two kids and a dog. Graduate college in four years. Live a long happy life. Where you will be living in a year, five years, 10 years. Find the job of a life time by the age of 30. Die of old age. But life doesn't work out like that does it? You end up in a loveless relationship with a guy that doesn't do anything, who is allergic to dogs and doesn't want kids. You don't pass a test necessary to graduate college and have to stay longer. You end up working at a dead end job because the economy sucks and it's getting you money which you need. You lose your left contact from your eye and can't get any more contacts until you see the eye doctor two days later. Life is crazy like that. It is never what we planned it out to be...

We have things that come into our life that smashes those plans out the window. It's almost the only thing certain that when you plan something, it will be interrupted or totally wiped away. It's actually kind of funny. If it's going to be rocky why even plan anything? What would life be like if we just lived to actual L I V E. No sense of time, deadlines, being somewhere at the right time. Many would argue it would cause us to become lazy and do nothing. But I believe we all thrive off of love. Love and connections with others would be the fuel that makes you find another person. The people who would sit around and be alone would eventually find a connection with someone, something, anything that would cause them to do something. We all have that thing that makes us do something, we may not know it but it is there. I think the world would be a happier place, it may not run like it is now but there would be a way around it. Who knows...crazier things have happened. Just think no organizers, no blackberries planning out our every move, no words like late. We would be connected by love and trust in humanity. It is something the world is missing.

Really it comes down to this, we can only live in the moment and be thankful for what we have RIGHT NOW. I have to be thankful that I have a heart that beats and lungs that help me breathe. I am ALIVE and LIVING right NOW! I have to learn that plans fall through and it is not something I can get mad about, well at least try not to get mad about. It is this...

I am grateful for all of life. I am being thankful for everything I see and everything I don't see.

i promise I will have a more insightful and wonderful blog tomorrow when I'm not spending nights out with new friends who are AWESOME!! just hope they don't turn out to be like my other former friends I've made down here in the 'boro.

sick and sleepy....not a good combo when trying to blog.

I am starting to get really congested... It's bad like don't want to describe how nasty my snot is bad. But I did work through it and got some soup in me to have fun tonight. I am so happy I have found a bunch of new friends to hang out with. Although somethings aren't what I do I'm cool with it. Hey it's life right? The band that one of them is in is pretty rockin'. I had a blast tonight! I'm excited that they are playing again on Saturday. Might just have to make an appearance. I'm also going to kick some butt in Guitar hero tomorrow after work against my brother also know as frick at work Connor! He claims he's better but highly doubt it. Night ya'll time to sleep in until 11 tomorrow, yay!!

Great day today. I actually talked about a lot of stuff today and got it out. It was good. I also had a fun time bowling and meeting new people. It was just wonderful. Can't say much more than that. I have to open tomorrow and then more fun with new friends. I like it.

I'm so so so excited for this to come out in less than a month!!


I'm also in love with the frames song called seven day mile.
Today has been a lazy day in bed with a cold. Could have been better but could have been worse.

wonderful evening with my boo thomas. I also ran into a boy who happens to be introduced to me on friday randomly : )

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.

We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

Oh each other....
When everything else is gone.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

Oh each other....
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything else is gone.

Dig by Incubus check it out. Off to bed for me....

New place to eat. New person to become friends with. New number to put in my phone. I think I like my mom trying to find me friends. At least this one is cute : )

Man one more day and then it's the weekend and for once I'm able to enjoy it because I have a saturday off. WAHOO

Man have I been wiped by working all the time. Being a big kid sucks sometimes. I might have to take a vacation soon....off to bed to work by 10 am tomorrow

God takes people in and out of our life for many reasons. Even if it's our best friend,good friend or any kind of friend. Right now I feel as if he has taking a few out my life for one reason or another. So for the chosen few I love you and glad that I still have you.

Screw you and all the time wasted on our friendship....this is frustrating really frustrating

OH MY GOODNESS GO PACK GO!!!!

How???

So I found out an old roommate of mine got married this past weekend, I didn't even get invited. I'm hurt pretty bad. I am kind of sick of this crappy week. I'm tired of trying to hang out with friends and get excuses on why not. If you have time for everyone else why not me? Hopefully it'll get better. Since I'm not sure what to write I'm going to give you a few excerpts out of a book I love called Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell

"Have you ever gotten angry enough in a conversation to say, "Do you want to know how I really feel?" the moment we say something like that, we reveal that up until now we weren't being entirely truthful. Now obviously, there may have been a good reason-knowing when and where to say what and how much is important. but sometimes there's a truth just below the surface that is, in fact, the real issue. And to get it out in the open, to talk about what really needs to be talked about, to stop pretending and posing and acting, we have to suffer.

Pain has a way of making us more honest. "

"The first Christians insisted that when Jesus died on the cross this wasn't just another execution by the Roman Empire. They believed this was the divine, in flesh and blood, hanging there on the cross, bloody, thirsty, suffering.

A god who is no somewhere else- remote detached distant- but among us feeling what we feel, aching how we ache. Suffering like us. Is the cross God's way of saying 'I know how you feel?' "

" We are going to suffer and it's going to shape us somehow. We will become bitter or better, closed or open, more ignorant or more aware, more or less, turned into a thousand upon thousands of gifts we are surrounded with every single moment of every single day. This too will shape me. The only question left is...how?"

I am tired and I'm really like the Pandora radio : ) Sometimes people are meant to be in our lives for a little bit....but why does it seem like that's most people down here in the south?

Yay it's Beatles Day!!!

This is very confusing...

"I won't run when it looks like lost, I can't spend another night alone regretting what I've done so I won't run...."-Needtobreathe

So what is that makes you have feelings for a person? There are so many other factors that play into a way a person may be attracted to you, or you attracted to them. I'm not sure I ever will find the answer to this question. But it's something that bothers me at times. Is it because they are into the same things that you are in? Could it be because they have a great smile? How do you know that the person you are falling for is really being true to themselves and not trying to change into someone else.

Then if someone likes you then why don't they tell you?!??! It's not like they are going to shoot you down. Rejection comes few and far between. So lets say there is a person out there that likes you, but has never really hung out with you? What is it that they see in you? Maybe the person they like is completely different outside of work....Then when you ask the person that likes you to hang out they don't even want to and give you excuses. It's rather confusing how everyone else in their life is able to hang out with them but no time for the person you like.

Sorry if this blog isn't making much sense to anyone, it really was me just getting things out of my head onto something tangible.

Tomorrow the new remastered edition of ALL the Beatles albums come out and I am pumped....who knows maybe I'll buy the whole collection on a whim and finance it through the best buy card for 18 months. Totally worth it for the Beatles. Rock band Beatles edition and the beatles it will be a wonderful day tomorrow.

ARGH!!!@!!!#W$!@#$!@#!@#!@#@#$%$%^&&*%$%@!#$~

this is ridiculous and stupid.....

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
Go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way)
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own)
Hell no reason go on and scream (Know your name)
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

Wow really?!?

I could understand if it was from someone else but never would I thought that my own family would say what they did tonight.... really makes me re-evaluate things, this sucks, hurts, and so many other words I can't even think of right now.

i'm not feeling good this no sleep is sucky.

Good golly House is getting good. Between House and Guitar Hero 5 what's the point of doing anything else....hehe just kidding. Tomorrow is my day off I've got stuff to do. I'm tired one more week left without my sleeping meds....hopefully I will make it

oh man am i exhausted but not getting any sleep. hopefully I can get my sleepwalking meds filled sooner rather than later like they said. Watching House and trying to fall asleep is what my day has been like. Oh and with a side of going to the dentist. Rather boring and relaxing day off.

you are going to move through this

More importantly, I love you. YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE THROUGH THIS.

Don't be defeated. Submit yourself to the process. You are growing. You are changing. You are doing LIFE.

I am not trying to make you feel better. This fucking hurts, and there are no two ways around it.

But I am trying to encourage you to not retreat. I can't remove the pain, but I am going to hold your hand while it hurts.

Continue to reach out. You need people right now.

I'm here for anything you need.

You are LOVED in ways you cannot imagine. In ways that don't depend on you. In ways that don't depend on your performance. In ways that cannot be lost. Remember Remember Remember.

Love you my friend.

- Anonymous

No Power??!?

So today I woke up to the sound of my phone going off. I got a text message at 7 am saying there was no morning meeting....why because there wasn't any power at Best Buy. Well I get up and go off to work at 11 thinking everything would be fine. Was I wrong or what! I show up to people in blues standing outside the store letting people know we wont have power until at least 2 pm. But guess what we still have to go in and put up signs in the hot dark empty building. We ended up sitting around until 1:30 when the power came back on. It was a mad rush to get the signs right and get set for the new ad. Wow it was crazy busy and I personally don't think we should have opened the store. I'm exhausted and sleeping in tomorrow.

House Season 5 on DVD need I say more?

So I'm frustrated and just wondering why this person seems to constantly angry at the world. Life isn't always about being down, you need to look at the positive side to things as well. You can't live your life being angry at everything. I have to work a crazy shift tomorrow followed by another one the next day. So my big blog will be around tomorrow. Night all.

I read an amazing book by Rob Bell called Drops Like Stars. It's an great way to describe how to deal with problems and issues and heartache that you come across in life. It was a great way to look at things. I think this book is going to be passed on to those who need it and the advice. I'm tired way tired and can't find anything inspiring for the blog tonight. Much love and peace.

Pics from the trip

I'm back!! Great job Mom on the blogs, and thanks for filling in : )

I miss my friends but they gave me the life and energy I needed to bring back to Greensboro. You all made my trip worth every horrible second that I spent with the jerk worth SO MUCH MORE. So thank you I love you guys and everyone who made it a great trip. Jess, Taylor, Matty, Icky, Alicia, Meg, Matt, Jacqui, Cory, Jeremy, Andy, Shane, Julie, Wendy, Ben, Peter, Emily, Stacy, and Jeff thank you for the awesomeness that you all are. Oh and lots of thanks to Travis, Thomas, and of course my Mom for helping me stay sane on my trip with the jerk face.


I fell in love with Chicago and want to move there...

ooh and by the way I got FULL TIME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crayons

Today was the first day of 5Th grade for Aubrey's little brother Jay. So me, thinking everyone purchased school supplies during the tax free week-end waited until the last minute to buy his school supplies. What a mistake!!! Wal-Mart was busier than the day after Thanksgiving. It was even worse because the day after Thanksgiving people are throughout the store not just in four isles! Can you believe that Wally World was sold out of crayons and #2 pencils. Yep, the super store sucked. I finally found one box of 48 crayons in the book cover bin. So, I started thinking how the smell of a fresh box of crayons can summon up our memories of the first day of school. The anxiety about will I have friends in the class, will the teacher be mean? How a smell can bring back the agony and thrill of our school days. I also want to rage about the new saying "she/he isn't the brightest crayon in the box". Well one of my favorite colors is black, which definitely isn't the brightest crayon in the box. But without black how could you color a zebra, or my favorite bird the puffin? You really need a black crayon for Halloween. Also, as Aubrey returns from her trip with the asshole, black will be very handy in coloring her friend gone when she gets home. Try to do that with bright yellow! Thanks for listening to me as I took command of the blog. I apologize if I was to cheesy but hey it was during a trip to Wisconsin! Love and Peace Mom

Hate & Fear

Two very powerful words hate and fear. These words have caused so much damage to people. As you know, Aubrey is in Wisconsin and I have taken over her blog while she is gone. She is traveling with an African American man who has not been a happy camper on the trip. He hasn't told Aubrey specifically what is wrong, but mentioned something about hate crimes. How sad that this guy is letting hate and fear dominate his vacation. If he would just relax and experience the trip, he could have made some great acquaintances (see previous blog). Maybe I was raised differently then most, I was never ever allowed to use the H (hate) word as a kid. I raised Aubrey the same way. But there seems to be so many haters in the world. How have we gotten to 2009 and have hate still in our vocabulary. Each year Websters Dictionary adds words, why can't we delete words. Maybe we could just change the definition to Having A Terrific Expernience. We could change a negative into a positive and learn from what happens. And now fear the paralyzing word. I myself struggle with this word. Don't get me wrong fear in small doses is a good thing. But when it takes over your life and limits your joy, that's when it's a problem. Maybe we could change the definition to Feeling Everything Allows Rebirth. What if we took all the energy we use being afraid and allow it to transform us. How amazing would that be? Just think what we could accomplish. So if anyone has an in with Websters Dictionary Company, let me know because I would like to change a couple of words.

Circle of Friends

With Aubrey in Wisconsin surrounded by friends I thought I would talk about friendship. I guess friendship is like a dart board. The outside ring is filled with acquaintances. These are the people that you would say hello to and shoot the shit with, but only surface level stuff. The next ring is for the people that you have shared some of you life journey with, you trust them but not completely. The next ring are people who have been through the good and bad times, and have your back if you ever need them. The bulls eye is for the people who hold your heart. These are the ones that would hold your hair back while you puke, cry with you when you're sad and cheer the hardest for you. The bulls eye people aka soul friends are there always. Even if you haven't seen them in six months the conversation and love continues like you never left each other. What is the formula for a soul friend? I'm not sure. I do know that people flow from one ring of friendship into another. Nothing is sadder than having someone you think should be in the bulls eye only to find out they will end up being in the outer ring, just an acquaintance. Yet on the flip side to have an acquaintance become a soul friend is a true treasure. I guess that friendship needs to ebb and flow. So I guess like everything in life we need to let go, don't get upset when a friend changes circles and just love each other.

Marriage Woes

Since Aubrey is in Wisconsin for a wedding I thought I would give you my two cents on marriage. The guy getting married was questioning the relationship and had decided that she wasn't the one. She was trying to change him and was angry when the process wasn't working. He had decided to leave the relationship when she discovered she was pregnant. Now a year after their sweet daughter was born, they are getting married. So now my two cents! Why do women try to change the man in their relationship. It never works!! If he is an ass, cares more for his friends and doesn't put you first in his life DUMP HIM! You can't change anyone but yourself. So now our friend is entering into marriage for the little girl. Hello, that nevers works either. So five years from now, maybe with another child, he will realize that it isn't working and leave. Oh that's much better than calling off the wedding now! If I can give any advice from my life lessons it would be always live your truth! Yes, you need to be kind to others, but don't compromise yourself to be in a relationship. And always remember the only change you can get from your significant other is to maybe get him to change is underware!

Editor in Chief

I had the power for only a short while. Yes, Aubrey gave me the power to post on her blog while she was on vacation, and yep you guessed it she posted anyway. How rude! It is probably a good thing she did as she needs to vent. Nothing is worse than a 16 hour car ride with someone who is grumpy and won't talk. My suggestion is maybe he would like to spend some of his vacation living in an Iowa corn field. Just saying a 5 star hotel or a corn field, you pick. But if I know my girl she won't tell him to hit the highway but she will hang in there and journey on. One thing is for sure Green Bay will bring the life back into her. And if he is grumpy there he can swim with the fishes in the Bay. Hold up there aren't any fishes alive in the Bay, so he'll glow in the dark for awhile after he swims. Just a few suggestions for improving the vacation. Hopefully she will be out of computer range and I can give you some juicy stories about her, stay tuned

trip day one

I am getting so frustrated with this person it's crazy. It's a vacation be happy don't sleep the whole time in the car. Don't grumble about going to check out really cool things in Chicago. A thank you would be nice. I'm really not happy but I will be when I see my loves in less than 12 hours!!! ARGH so much to write with no time to write it. Love Chicago and I love the hotel we're in.....time for bed. I missed the central time zone.

Early night tonight i'm off to chicago tomorrow leaving me less that double digits in hours away from my loves in Wisconsin. So pumped. blogging a day by me might not happen but have no fear my mom will do what she can while i'm not at the computer.

I work one more day!! Just one more day and I will be getting ready to head back to the great wonderfulness of Wisconsin. Brett Favre came back....to the VIKINGS. The world might be coming to an end. Time to sleep I have to be at the store by 9 and hopefully my mom will get the oil changed.

THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!

I f'ed up my bumper today....I'm not a happy camper. My car is still drivable but it just adds to all the stress of my life. I just need to relax center myself and start getting prepared for the wonderful trip to Green Bay for the wedding and friends. I'll be able to eat noodles and company and have a good night with friends at old chicago as well as seeing my niece Addy and my bestest friend matty getting married. Should be a great trip : )

I finally found the movie Candy with Heath Ledger in it. Man am I excited to watch it...even thought I have to wake up and work 10:30 to 7. At least I don't have to close the department which sucks the most. I am stressing way too much on a lot of things in my life. I am who I am. No reason to freak out for it I can control on me and my actions. Love and peace to you tonight.

I am way too tired to be playing this. Man can I not wait for the vacation to see my loves in wisconsin I am SOOOO excited yay yay yay yay!!!

I promise a good blog is coming i just can't think of it right now....

Getting hit by the wall that is called sleep....it needs to come soon or I'm getting nervous. Very nervous....

another day and not much to say. Other than people make me mad when they do stupid things.

I am kind of lost in the whole thing of life....I'm tired and need to sleep it's been a very long and exhausting few days.

so this weekend I was way too busy selling computers for tax free weekend to blog much. I think I even forgot a day in there somewhere. I apologize but it's all been a blur to me. I am so exhausted and tired. I have to work at 9 am tomorrow but won't have any computers in stock to sell. It will be a very interesting and very slow day....but I have 3 days off in a row again!?!?!

11 hours and way too many computers out....my god I am tired

Tax free weekend starts tomorrow morning for me at 6:30 am. I don't know how ready I am for this craziness. 3 days of people wanting computers just to save 40-70 dollars.....RIDICULOUS. Day after thanksgiving craziness for 3 days straight, gosh I wish I was in Wisconsin where they don't have this stupid thing. There has been a lot going on in my life right now and I haven't been able to blog so I am sorry to those who read this on a regular basis (hahaha that'd only be my mom). Oh and on tax free weekend I'm going to be in the house all by myself cause my family is going to myrtle beach for a trip. They have fun while I work my butt off. My bed does sound very nice though tonight.

I'm tired and don't feel well....crap

I'm in jay's room and the wifi in here sucks...

Today has been a very long day. I had a work meeting and then stuff then back to a crazy day at work. Made it home in time for the fantasy football draft thank goodness and two ridiculous games of Left 4 dead. It's time for me to sleep in my bed and enjoy it. I'm getting kicked out of my room for a few days so my mom's friends can crash on it. I'm not a big fan.

Guys frustrated the crap out of me. I don't think I will ever EVER E V E R understand them. 8 am morning meeting tomorrow. Followed by breakfast with the guys. Back to work til 8 then run home to make it for the fantasy football draft at 830. What a crazy day. My foot isn't getting better either so I'm getting a little worried.

What a crappy day at work. Totally not a fun day. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off or I might kill someone.

I have a letter to write to miss tara so that is what I am going to do. Less than a month until I'm back in good old wisconsin! I'm excited just as much as you should be : )

Meaningful and fun blog to come soon. right now I just don't have the right frame of mind or time to do it. Sorry kids, come back later

Wow....what a lazy day off. It was needed. Off to work tomorrow.

Yesterday was a rough day....sorry I didn't post wasn't feeling the greatest.

i have the first season of true blood yay. I also love my bestie Jess she is such a trooper dealing with the crazy guys tonight.

I am exhausted and I have another long day tomorrow. Wow my leg is getting bigger and bigger by the day and it's turning pretty colors. I've got a lot to do with little time to do it. Sweet dreams ya'll : )

first time I experienced the true meaning of a club....wow is all I can say. Gotta be up in 6 and half hours peace out homies. I'm ending the bitchassness right now. I'm cutting you off and so what if it's your day soon. You are not special you are not a tiny unique snowflake falling from the sky.

I got to talk to TARA for a few minutes today. It was the pick me up in my rough month that I needed for a few. The good news is that she'll be in Wisconsin when I'm up there for the wonderful Matty McFatty wedding....ahhh so excited.

So you think you can dance

I love this show!!

Don't expect anything and you won't get hurt. I miss my besties back home...it's true and my ankle is pretty big. Time to sleep after closing the store I've gotta open it up tomorrow.....killer

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away

How long have you been in your bedroom?
It's been three days straight with your sheets and your pillows
The clock on the wall’s a reminder of my father in all his entirety
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

I've made up my mind
Took time to think of
Everything I
Could do. It may be hard but I'm trying to comprehend
Where I quit and where I should begin

I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me.
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

This is becoming a catastrophe

You’re a fake
A product of a world
An average mistake
So commonly made

I've made up my mind
Took time to think of (You’re a fake)
Everything I (A product of a world)
Could do. (An average mistake)It may be hard but I'm trying to comprehend (It may be hard)(So commonly made)

I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it’ll bury me.
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

You’re a fake
A product of a world
An average mistake
So commonly made

I forgot shoo

So I had a great idea on what to write about for my blog tonight....but I forgot about what it was. Shoot. It's been another late night but at least I don't have to work tomorrow. Jay has officially taken over my laptop full time. It's not even staying in my room....I might just have to give him this one and get a mac : ) time to get some sleep and enjoy my day off tomorrow yay!

My mom is pretty awesome. But my dad is just as cool too. It's been a rough few months and I just happened to have daises waiting for me in my room. Time for bed....

So I have a brother that is going to be going to college at NC-SU in less than a month...that is a scary thought right there. Off to bed gotta work another 8 and half hour shift tomorrow to be followed by an 11 to 7 shift on sunday....oh boy what a weekend

I'm stuck in the middle between going for something that doesn't make sense and something that is safe and comfortable. I don't know what to do. I'm being treated like crap and I'm finally sick of it. I'm standing up for myself and doing what I need to do. It might be hard but you know what that is what life is all about. Shady stuff has been going on and it needs to be discussed IMMEDIATELY.

Never make someone your priority when they only make you an option...motto I need to live by because that is how I'm feeling right now

Leave the pieces when you go..

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair, you know
To just keep me hanging 'round

You say you don't want to hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown?

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

You're not making up your mind
It's killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that...

So yesterday night on my way out I got a wonderful hand written letter from Tara. I'm so happy she's enjoying her job in up state new york and I miss her bunches. I hope I'll be able to see her at some point this summer. Maybe we'll just meet in NYC and call it a day. I'm at Stu and Andrew's place as I type this...two days off and watching Jay should be a great time off.

We The Living....yay!

First impressions get you everywhere
Every time, but what I have found is first words win you wars.
When I'm with you half the time i am in places you'll never know,
For all the reasons you've heard before

This is war

You can't understand what's running
through my head and you can't
understand about half the words that
i said so let me paint a picture instead,
these demons have left me for dead, still i get up
But I'll get out of my head
Help me get out.

And if I'm sitting in silence staring at ghosts, you aught to know because it's
that you can't understand what's running
through my head and you may not understand
about half the words that I said so let me
paint a picture instead, these demons have
left me fore dead, still I'll get out I'll get out of my head
Help me get out

So I'll get down on my knees and I'll beg and give up all of me.

Mmmm John Mayer makes my day amazing

Some of us, We're hardly ever here
The rest of us, we're born to disappear
How do I stop myself from
Being just a number
How will I hold my head
To keep from going under

Down to the wire
I wanted water but
But I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me,testing me

See you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?
I see through, through your love
Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

She never lets me in
Only tell me where’s she’s been
When she’s had too much to drink
I say that I don’t care I just run my hands
Through her dark hair and then I pray to god
You gotta help me fly away

And just...
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces...."

-The Script: Breakeven

i gave blood today....

i want to go to the pound to see if Lucy is okay. But it'll probably break my heart. I miss her and wish she was here. : (

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue
When the stars go blue

Laughing with your pretty mouth
Laughing with your broken eyes
Laughing with your lover's tongue
In a lullaby

I have bug bites all over my legs. I also am exhausted....working 8 hours on your feet isn't something i'm used to.....I miss Lucy a lot

The lights go down in Brooklyn,
As she's walking out the door
Oh and they're lining up like soldiers,
Going off to fight the war
And all the colors look like fireworks,
In skies she knew before

But the nights can't hide the days
Then the tears roll down her face
Oh and the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away"

But the fog just sits like blankets
And it's drowning out the glow
You can hear voices loud and singing out,
A song nobody knows
But to her it sounds like home

But the nights can't hide the days
Then the tears roll down her face
And the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away, from all that I am
Just take me away, from all that I am"

Well the fog just sits like blankets
And it smothers the glow

Oh cause nights can't hide the days
Woah then the tears roll down her face
Oh and the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
Oh that the nights can't hide the days
Woah that the tears roll down her face
Oh and the lights hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.

heart break....

I'm heart broken....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees, And for a moment you can hardly breathe.