Friday, July 18, 2008

Saying goodbye to an unknown friend

There were kids in costumes but I felt far from them. It felt like Halloween was happening all over again but earlier than normal. They were dressed for a party but I was in line for something like a funeral. The posters said "Batman" but i was in line to say some strange goodbye to a guy I never met. I guy that I had learned to love in many different films.

I first remembered talking about Heath Ledger being cast in the role of the Joker a year and a half ago. How that was a brilliant but crazy move on the directors part. Questioning if he could pull off the role Jack Nicholson did so well. But it made it more exciting to think of what was to come... I never would have imagined it was the photos of a body bag leaving his apartment that I'd see him in before the actual role...it made me sad.

I remember the night that Heath Ledger died in New York City. Some friends and I were relaxing playing Sorry at open mic. The coffee shop is always a warm place it's filled with music and the Sorry game is simply a means to laughter. I remember thinking and wishing that Heath Ledger could have somehow found his way to the coffee shop that night. Maybe that's a weird thought but it was simply the possibility that he would have been less alone, that he might have found a friend or been surprised by laughter...

As for the movie, The Joker was alone.

We all talked about his performance it the next day and that was the thing we kept coming back to. He is completely alone. No gang. No sidekick. He doesn't trust anyone. He doesn't need anyone. He is so disconnected that we never even get to see his story. We never see the how or the heart of the why - we only see the madness. There is no great love that he is fighting for. It's not about the money - he sets that on fire. He values nothing. He loses himself. It's a testament to the actor's talent that when the lights go down in the theater, and The Dark Knight starts unspooling, it's shockingly easy to forget that he's gone. It's only later, walking to the parking lot, the reality sinks in again. It's like losing a friend I never knew all over again.

I'll say what i said before, which is just that the death of Heath Ledger reminded us that life is a fragile precious thing. We were reminded that even our heroes ache with problems of pain. And medicine - or medication - it has the power to bring healing, and it also has the power to bring death.

Back in January, in real life, a father brother actor son named Heath Ledger lost his life. We don't know how he lived but it seems he died alone.

At some point, before we meet him, The Joker loses his mind. He lives alone.

As for us and now, the movie screen is traded for a computer screen, and the story being told is real and ours. Less clapping but just as much at stake. There's no genius ending to this writing, just the simple thing that we keep coming back to:

We weren't meant to be alone.
We need other people.
We need a friend.
We need a gang.
We need a family.
Hope is real.


Those Sorry games, the coffee shops warm and kind - we need to know that they really do exist. That the whole thing is possible. That life can be good. i am fighting to believe this in my own life. I have a long way to go but I'm learning that it's worth fighting for.

As for Heath's final performance, it is amazing, mind blowing, and iconic. There will be no better person to play the Joker again, he simply was the best fit for the role. If I had the chance to cast my vote for an Oscar, hands down Heath would get it.

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