Sunday, January 27, 2008

Meet my mom!

Guess who has a big birthday today? That would be my kick butt mother. She's turning thirty again for god knows how many years now. Soon I'll be passing her in age.

As most of you know my mom is pretty sweet. Actually most of you have had time to meet and hang out with her. Be it if you are being "adopted" into the Lux family or just asking to see your temps, being around my mom is always a fun time. Therefore how she has over the years acquired some pretty sweet nicknames....The Sweetest Mom, Momma Lux, Mom-dog or dawg whichever you prefer, and many others.

I am glad to call my mom, not only my mom but my best friend. She has been there for me before I could even think, or breathe. She is an amazing person, and if I could live up to half of what she is I would consider it an accomplishment. I am willing to go out there and say that she is the best mom in the world. Alright before I get people saying but what about my mom, wait until you hear what this amazing woman does.....



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! I LOVE YOU!

(this is incomplete due to the fact that i am passing out at the keyboard, it will be finished tomorrow)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

Mr. Jay Paul


So I recently was told that I never finished the blogs for each one of my family members. I only got to Ian. So moving down the line of siblings that brings me to Jay Paul.

The back story on Jay:
Jay came into our lives at 23 hours old from Rice Lake Wisconsin. He was our new foster baby that our family got to have. Well to make a long story short, his birth father was in jail and his birth mother was a drug whore. She smoke and drank and did crank, a form of meth, while pregnant with Jay. She was just a wreck and didn't deserve to even be called a mother for what she did to him. Because of the drugs he went through withdrawal for the first 6 months, it was hell for the kid and for us. Also the drugs completely destroyed his digestive tract leaving him to not eat anything with protein or dairy in it. We soon learned that he was also blind, but after 5 months he got his vision back, almost a miracle (he'll tell you he is a miracle). He also had rage issues where he would get super mad and get tense. All the doctors at mayo didn't think he would live long, and he was the first admitted meth baby in the state of Wisconsin. The state also deemed him special needs. This made it harder for any family that wanted to adopt him. Well after a few adoptive families came and met Jay and turned him down as he got older and older, he became part of the family. We were the only family he had ever known and was calling us mom and dad. So after talking we decided that we would adopt Mr. Jay Paul and he would be come an official Lux.
(Jay thought my digital camera was amazing and we had fun goofing around)
Ever since Jay has come to our house he and I have had a connection. We are attached at the hip. To the point where he and I look so much like each other, people don't realize he is adopted. They actually think Ian my biological brother is the adopted one. My own dad can't tell who is who in the baby pictures. He is a very smart kid, even at the age of 8 he knows a lot. He's a math genius but also can make friends with anyone. When I was home for Christmas he would say things that I remember saying at his age. My mom would give me the look saying I wonder who he got that from. Even though we are 13 years apart we are still bestest buddies. He always would ask for kisses and then wipe them off, this lead to the saying, "sister kisses are there forever." He still wipes my kisses off to this day and gives me the grin that could get him out of anything. I love him to death and am so happy to have him in my life and proud to say that he's my brother.


Next time it's the Birthday Girl a.k.a Mom Dogg Momma Lux or what I call her my mom.



Love and peace to you all....

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

So I figured I should let you all listen to the songs of 2007. Well at least most of them, a lot weren't able to be added because they aren't as famous or something like that. So if you really want to hear the songs let me know and I'll burn you a copy or send them to you. So enjoy because there is going to be a craptacular blog coming about people moving.

Kick back relax and enjoy the tunes.



Sunday, January 06, 2008

Top 61 songs of 2007

This might be a long one but deal with me, it'll be worth it in the end. Lately , I've been thinking a lot about 2008. 2008 is more interesting that 2006 because it hasn't happened yet. Today is the most interesting day.

I tried to pick 50 but I ended up with 61

1.Let Go-Boys like Girls (frou frou cover): makes me think of garden state, even though it’s a cover. “let go let go just get in it’s so amazing here, it’s alright cause there’s beauty in the breakdown.”

2. Where the streets have no name-u2: this is a great song that reminds me of all the awesome things that came out of fall retreat. This was played at the last talk that Chip had and the connection he made to it were amazing “I want to run, I want to hide, I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside, I want to reach out and touch the flame where the streets have no name.”

3. How we roll-silent point: These guys are such great guys and it’s sad to see them break up but I had nothing but wonderful memories from all the many concerts I went to. This song reminds me of them and the great times. I think of every time that in one part of the song Koley would laugh at us for dancing like crazy, then do the move. “We were lions and we weren’t even tryin’”

4. Nothing left to lose-Needtobreathe: Another great song that helped me through some tough stuff with friends. “when we fight to get back the love that we lost will my hands be enough to push on. Will I have enough to go on? Cause we are alive, we are strong, can’t watch it go for nothing, watch until it’s gone, we are down we can chose we’ve got nothing else to live for , nothing left to lose.” Also the song that got me through my late night run.

5. Little bombs-dashboard confessional: Chris Carabba has gone back to the old school DC stuff that I loved and this song is great. This worked so well with the old roomie situation. “How can you ask for forgiveness and you think that your crimes are victimless.”

6. Mfeo: part 1-made for each other part 2- you can breathe-Jack’s mannequin: I love Andrew McMahon and this song is so great, I really can’t say much more than that.

7. Apologize-One republic: This is great WITHOUT timberland. This band’s album all together is wonderful

8.what if you-joshua radin:” what if you could wish me away what if you spoke those words today.” Probably one of my favorite movies of the past year this song was in, Catch and Release. It’s a great song.

9. Makes me wonder-maroon 5: Even if it’s about the government it’s a wonderful F you song as well. Also these guys are back finally and better than ever!

10. Run to you-the rocket summer: “So I’ll run to you, I will run, I will run, I will move right on through all these things that I’ve done.”

11.don’t let me down-stereophonic or maroon 5’s version. It makes me think of this past summer and the once in a lifetime show that I got to experience in Minneapolis at the fine line cafĂ©. All acoustic all amazing and sharing a beer with Adam Levine, can’t get much better than that. “you should start smoking weed, it’ll help with your disease.”-Shawn when talking to my mom about her cancer stuff

12. A song is not a business plan-the rocket summer: “I’ll never do the things they do just to make it.”

13.The beauty in ugly-jason mraz: Mr.A-Z how I missed him, and he made this song, making sure that every girl knows that they are beautiful, how can you hate that?

14. All the same-the sick puppies: This was a great video that they had with the free hugs campaign. “I don’t mind, I don’t care, as long as here you’re here… And I’ll take you for who you are if you take me for everything.”

15. Do you feel-the rocket summer: Bryce Avery is amazing “I can’t help it I’ve got too many issues I own and I can’t help I’m afraid….do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow.”

16. Clear as the coast-silent point: “I’m the weight on your back I’m the anchor on your shoulder’s bringing you down with me. “ Such a great song and probably one of my favorite Silent Point songs.

17. Reason why-Rachael Yamagata: This is from another great movie The Last Kiss and it was filmed in Madison so gotta represent. It also has wonderful lyrics.

18. Hump de bump-red hot chili peppers: It always makes me want to dance, that’s never a bad thing. It also reminds me of the first night at fall retreat this year. I bonded with some cool people because of this song playing.

19. hands held high-linkin park: Makes me think about how we need to fix things over seas and how if we want change in the world we’ve gotta do it on our own.

20. How far we’ve come-Matchbox twenty: Matchbox Twenty is BACK I’ve waited so long for this album and it was worth it. This song makes you think about how far we’ve really come in change from the past. “I started running but there is nowhere to run to.”

21. So much love-the rocket summer: This was what got me through my finals. It’s great up beat song and it makes things so much brighter and happier. “you’ve got so much love in you, you’ve got so much love in you, I’m amazed I’m talking to you.”

22. nothing lasts forever-maroon 5: My favorite from their album I love this line, “built a wall around my heart never let it fall apart strangely I wish secretly it will fall down when I’m asleep.”

23. Sunday best-Augustana: “I think about you all the time, I wonder what you doin’ I wonder why you never cry.”

24. Burn out bright-switchfoot: Great band to see this fall opening our new sports center. Jon Foreman is amazing and this song is awesome, it’s so true for my life. “If only got one try, if we’ve only got one life, if time was never on our side, before I die I want to burn out bright.”

25. From where you are-Lifehouse: It’s such a great song, and it makes me think of how much I miss everyone who is so far away from me, be it my family or amazing friends that aren’t here in GB.

26.Running man-Hanson: Story of my relationships with guys this past year. A bunch of running men…

27. Catch my disease-Ben Lee: The toy piano on this makes it that much better.”She drinks her beer with coca-cola and that’s the way I like it.”

28. pressure-paramore: “Tell me where our time went and if it was time well spent don’t le me fal asleep feeling empty again.”

29.hero/heroine-boys like girls: I love this song for some reason, I think it’s the lead singers voice and oh so catchy lyrics.

30. We could run away-needtobreathe: This song is so great and was played a lot “could we wait long enough to bide my time could we stay and say enough to change my mind. “

31. Simple as it should be-Tristan Prettyman: My goal is to learn how to play this on my guitar this year. It’s how life should be simple as it should be.

32. We are broken-paramore: “Tell me why we live like this, keep me safe inside your arms like towers, tower over me. Cause we are broken, what must we do to restore our innocence.”

33.421-the wildbirds: Great song to listen to on your way to class gets you all pumped up. “Everybody loves you but nobody cares!”

34. Holiday-boys like girls: “So I’ll run far away, need to take a holiday maybe it’s a fall from grace I’ve gotta find a new place. “ I’ve felt like this many a time during the past year.

35. Gravity-John Mayer: I love this song, so mellow so chill and fantastic.

36. 75 and 17-we the living: “you’ll think I’ll forget ya, is there a place for us? Is there a place for us? This city life will swallow all of me.”

37. The Heart of Life-John Mayer: I love the first verse and the guitar it makes you feel like John Mayer loves you, even when you’re down in the dumps. Who doesn’t love that thought? “ I hate to see you cry lying in that position theres things you need to hear so turn off your tears and listen.”

38. Fire on the mountain-Hanson: Hanson’s newest album was amazing, “can we pick up the pieces, we’re moving Babylon tryin’ to write our wrongs.”

39. Home-Daughtry: Alright I know it’s WAY over played but it has a deeper meaning to me. Daughtry is from Greensboro NC where my family is now from. Every time I fly into Greensboro right before I land I listen to this song; it makes me think of everything. The lyrics fit everything perfectly in why I have to go to Greensboro to visit now. “I don’t regret this life I chose for me…Careful what you wish for cause you just might get it all.”

40. Marching bands of Manhattan-death cab for cutie: I love this song hands down. “Sorrow drips out of your heart like a pin hole, like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound.”

41. Classifieds-the academy is: “My life reads like the classifieds, pages of what’s for sale, what’s on the auction block.”

42.everything starts where it ends-lovedrug It’s always a nice song to listen to when you’re down, which we’ve all had. But they are an amazing band I got to see this past year with a few other awesome ones. “all this will start where it ends, wake up you’re alive we’re on your side, wake up you’re alive.”

43. Wonderwall-oasis: Probably one of the greatest songs ever and I love it and was amazing, even all the bands that covered this. It also makes me think about all the wonderful open mic nights that I had fun at this past year.

44. You’re my everything-silent point: “Whenever the sky gets heavy, just know that I’ll be ready, to go where you want me to go, to know what you need me to know. If ever you need me to know just know that I’ll know I’ll know.”

45. Rootless tree-Damien Rice: This is the pissed off song of the year and what I listened to on repeat after dealing with an ex of mine. It’s great and I’m glad I found it for the drive home.

46.not falling apart-maroon 5: The second album from them and the most downloaded on itunes not bad. “now I can’t walk I can’t talk anymore since you walked out the door.”

47. So, in this hour…-the rocket summer: Amazing song, can’t get much better than this “So much feeling, Oh, my soul is singing And everybody feels the same Is this everything that you've hoped for? Is this everything you've dreamed? I think it is If the real point is seen.”

48. Losing my mind-maroon 5: The b-side collection was great to get this fall, it made it that much better. Ahhh these guys are so awesome on stage and hanging out with.

49. Let your love be strong-Switchfoot: This is from To Write Love On Her Arms, something that I am really big into and you should check it out. “Love could be a verb, maybe I’m just a little mis-informed.”

50. Beautiful disaster-Jon McLaughlin: this was a great song to sing to in the car this summer as well. “Caught in the in between, she just needs someone to take her home.”

51. Thick as thieves-dashboard confessional: “you may be a sinner but you may be justified just keep your mouth shut keep your guard up. I swear I’ll make it right.”

52. Life is beautiful-vega4. This song was what I listened to when I was really scared with being stuck here when my mom had another attack of hers. It’s scary when you could possibly lose one of the most important people in your life without being there in person to say goodbye.

53. Saint Paul-we the living: Another great local band, and their love for St. Paul. One of my favorite cities, I miss going there for soccer games and Mesa Pizza and friends there. Oh man just great.

54.9 crimes-Damien rice: “let me out with the waste this is not what I do this is the wrong kind of place…”

55. Say this sooner-the almost: Summer time, blaring this in my car with my windows down can’t get much better than that.

56. Shine on-needtobreathe when the feelings gone shine on shine on…this song got me through a tough time with a former best friend of mine. It’s great. Ahhh

57. Mixtape-butch walker: This is the story of my love life. Butch Walker is crazy good and this song is great too.

58. blackbird-Sarah McLachlan (Beatles cover)-Great cover of an amazing song. It reminds me of some great times. Heck it’s the Beatles you can’t hate on that!

59. Story-maroon 5: My boys are awesome and I heart them, especially the beginning of the song with James rocking the guitar. “Stay here never go home, did you know that everything she ever does is for you?”

60. Three-A,B, and the sea: The ending of the song makes me happy and Koley is such a great person and I’m glad to call him a friend. I’m happy to be working with him to get signed. Check his stuff out. It was a great song to get right before the end of the year. www.myspace.com/abthesea

61. Amazing because it is-the almost: I love this song and find that it’s fitting for the last song. It’s a great song that makes me think of my grandpa. It’s helped me through some tough times but also good ones.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

This might be unfun...

**Editors Note: this post has been edited for confusion of things mentioned when not referring to them at all.**

i was reading the last few pages of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" as 2007 came to a close. But i really enjoyed this book. i loved the honesty and the innocence of Charlie. These things matter and you feel them in this book, because they arrive in the face of pain and confusion. The book was so many things and i suppose it was an appropriate way to say goodbye to 2007.

2007 was the best year of my life.
i've never found so much. i've never grown so much.
And yet, it also feels true to say that 2007 was the hardest year of my life.
i've never lost so much, and i've never hurt so much.

Perhaps you can relate.

"I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."

if i learned anything in 2007, i learned that much of life is about holding on and letting go, and trying to learn when to do which. Letting go is the hardest thing that i have ever experienced. Holding on is the thing that comes naturally, but if you're going to do it, you have to really do it. You have to make choices and you have to fight to defend the things you choose. You have to decide what is important.
My family is what I am holding on to the most and going to fight and defend it.

Things are not perfect now, but i am hopeful tonight. My heart is lighter than it was six months ago. i have seen storms pass. i have grown and learned and changed. And i am stronger now.

I recently was able to make the trip home to see my family for Christmas. It was nice but it wasn't the same. Once i left I had a phone call and voice mail from my mom saying that i needed to call her. well when i was working there was a family meeting about me and how I'm not the same and they want me to go back on the drugs. i feel like the guy in garden state, trying to see what life is like without the influence of medication. i was hurt and shocked by this to be honest. i know i'm not who I was before people change but i think I'm okay. But I'm going to do it to make them happy, maybe in the end it's going to help me as well. This might be my hope and reaching out that I need. So I'm letting go....and depending on hope that this medication stuff will work.

i believe that love is real. i believe that it is possible. i believe that it can last.

There is hope in all of this.

so let go of the past and embrace the possibility that things can get better. Our stories are important. Our lives matter. Our voices matter.

We're all in this together.

"So let go, let go, jump in,
Oh well, whatcha waiting for,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown,
Let go, let go, just get in,
Oh, it's so amazing here,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown."
-Frou Frou: Let Go

**Editor's note number two: I am gong to be very limited from now on in what I write in here, it's going into my journal from now on. Sorry but it hurts too many people to see what I'm feeling. maybe it'll change later down the road but that's what is happening now**