Is it too much??

Is it too much to ask for a friend to care about you? Not just care about you but care enough about you where they are digging deep into your life and wanting to know everything about you. Be it the scar on you arm, the pain you've dealt with, struggles and achievements you've made. I'm thinking that life is tough, and especially this point. Maybe I'm making it harder on myself than I have to. I need to let go and realize that some people aren't meant to be in my life just as much as I am not suppose to be in theirs. I've been feeling secondary to a lot of people I call "friends" and I hate it. I want to just get on my roof and scream because of the hurt that it causes. As much as I don't let it show how it things sometime affect me, they really do. I analyze everything and anything that is done. It usually ends up making me think that it's something that is wrong with me.

Sometimes a girl just needs her mom, I miss her. I miss the unconditional love that I always will have with Rick LaNay Ian and Jay, you can't find that on a store shelf or from some convenient store on a corner. It's not that easy. I was to see that tooth grin from a brother who thinks I'm the most amazing thing in the world. I want to get picked on for being stupid in decision by another one. I want to be able to make fun of my dad for being so dense when it comes to humor. I want to get in a car with my mom and just talk about anything and be free with no worries. It's to the point of where I am thinking of throwing away 3 years of hard work and transfer down to north carolina. I've tried it here for over a year and I'm to the point of throwing in the towel. I did my best but it's not enough sometimes, it seems to be one of those times.

I know I'll get through this, I always do but it sucks. I want to be able to make it through a day not wondering what I did wrong to be forgotten by friends who I have shown so much love to. It makes me feeling worthless and like there is something wrong with me.

Everyone wants to be loved.