i can't do it

i'm tired and i'll write later tomorrow maybe

rollin' down the street sippin on gin and juice

Me: Hey let's go driving down North street for fun tonight.
Crumper: Sure if you want to get into the middle of gang fights, get shot at, and possibly killed, sounds like a fun night right?

Hey guys I'm writing tonight from Miss Crumpers house in Milwaukee and Brad is here to maybe making some comments in here as well...

So today has been a crazy, weird, and totally awesome day. My day started out around 7:10 this morning by erica waking me up. Not a normal wake up you would think, she started tickling me, thanks erica it's just how I wanted to be woken up. I got up and decided I was too tired to take a shower and that I would wait until after my 8 am class do to it. I relied on my deoderant and my perfume to get me by. Hopefully my discussion group members wouldn't notice the smell. I get to class and realize that I had almost all but 2 questions in the assignment done. For you non-physics people this seems like a normal every day thing. But for me a physics person this is HUGE, it make the day that much better. Then I come to find out that most of my problems that I did I had right. That made the day start off pretty sweet. After class I decided to make the trek back to my apartment in between classes, at the time it seemed like a good idea...

I get to my apartment, bad idea Aubrey bad idea, and see my nice comfy and warm bed there. I was practically calling my name out to come and lie down in the bed. Of course me the lover of sleep decided to take my chances. I knew myself and set my alarm so I would be able to make it to my next class on time. I turn on the tv and slowly fell asleep. You probably are thinking right now, no big deal Aubrey you set your alarm you're good to go. This definitely wasn't the case. I not only slept through my alarm I somehow magically turned my alarm off so it wouldn't go off again while sleeping. This was not good missing my stats class, but lucky for me my roomie bejya just happened to be in the same class. She hopefully would give me the notes if she wasn't mad at me for not showing up to class. Around noon thirty erica and bejya roll into the apartment. bejya wasn't mad and told me that I was lucky for not showing up to class today because our normal prof didn't show up today. How sweet was that I totally ROCKED!! My day was going awesomely so far....

1:45 rolled around, the time that B-rad was going to be coming by to pick me up so we could make our way down to mil-town and tosa to stay at crumper's house for the weekend. Crumper was coming home because she had to work on sat. and sun. brad and I decided to come because we needed to get away and have time and quiet area to study for our tests next week. I definitely wasn't ready and wasn't packed but I got it all together in enough time. The hour and half trip was quick and pretty relaxing just what I have needed. We get into the city and come see crumpers house to drop off our stuff. We decide that we wanted to go see her mall and shop around for a little bit...

definitely turned out to be more than just a little bit. We were there for a long long time, it's a HUGE mall, it had 2 floors and it was pretty damn big. We ended up going into sephora not a good idea with two girls, we find this awesome stuff that is bubble bath, shower gel and shampoo all in one and a body butter that smelled like cinnamon buns oh sooooo good. Of course I had to get the lip gloss too. I also got a pair of my discontinued jeans at the gap for 15 dollars which was awesome, 3 pairs of my favorite jeans now all together were less than 60 dollars. We had fun rollin' around the mall, we even picked an outfit out for brad and even built him a bear since nobody had ever done build a bear for him. We decided that we were hungry and went to this awesome Italian place called maggiano's. The portions were huge and the food was SO good I definitely was full for the rest of the night. We went to go find simon birch the movie with no luck...

We came back to amanda's house and chilled with a few of her friends from home that were in town from college as well but here's the best part of the night. My mom calls me telling me that she met this very nice boy named Matt at Olive Garden, and that she's going to set him up with me. She found out everything about him and thinks he's very cute as well as has a great personality. Here's the kicker kids, she showed him my picture!! He looked at it I guess and said that I was beautiful. My mom is in love with this boy and thinks he's my soul mate and I haven't even met him yet. My brothers even told me that he's awesome, jay said that he's way cuter than jared (sorry jar) and I think Ian said that he's pretty sweet he'd like him as brother in law. CRAZY!!My mom is determined to find me a good guy. I guess he's a senior at UWEC and is a business major. She also told me that we are going to olive garden when I come home in two weeks. I think this is crazy but absolutely hilarious at times, I've never been set up and I doubt anything will come from this. The thing is that I'm not looking for a relationship right now any ways. If worse comes to worse I get a free dinner and a nice night out of the whole thing.

Last note of the night, my computer is officially screwed up and is barely working I think I need to find someone to look at it and make it better or even a new computer would be nice. hint hint

tomorrow is study for tests and haunted house at night I'll let you all know how that goes....

speak of the devil....

"When I fall in love, I'll take my time, there's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind. You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine."~Jason Mraz

Quick comment on the pic, i saw it somewhere today and it made me laugh, so I thought i'd let you have a laugh too today!

Today has been one interesting day, interesting would be an understatement. Class for stats today was cancelled which left me to sleep in until 10:15. Well because my body likes to play tricks on me and mess with my mind I woke up around 8:30 and couldn't sleep. It was nice to be up and get stuff done but I wanted to stay in bed longer all nice and cuddled up with my blanket. I went to my physics lab with the intention of getting out of there as fast as I could so I could start on my loads of homework. i was then reminded by my lab partner that we were suppose to work together on problems we had on the previous homework. good job aubrey forget all your physics stuff at the apartment. I did what I could and for about 3 hours we went over this with our crazy but super sweet lab instructor Dr. Hencheck. It was 3 hours that I really didn't have time for but i know what I'm doing now. i get back and bejya wants to talk, great just what I wanted and needed right there. After a long and very loud and at points mean conversation we got everything figured out. Sweet one person down 2 more to go....

Well after working on my stats forever I look at the clock and realize that it's already 5. I decided to make dinner for everyone instead of eating frozen pizza for the 500th night in a row. So it took me a few minutes to make the dinner and I worked more on my stats. After we ate. Jamie, Bejya and I had a volleyball game. That game went pretty crappy we went into at 3rd game and lost it at 18-16 rally point scoring. i get back and I here the phone ring, it's Jared....

To be quite honest I was shocked at this call coming from him. After I dropped him off in wausau on sat. afternoon I figured I wouldn't be speaking with him again, at least for awhile. After the concert we went to i got the vibe that I was not liked, this is coming from the guy that has told me repeatedly that he will always love and care for me. I just figured that he realized that I wasn't the girl he fell in love with and stuff wasn't there anymore. It was a weird conversation because it was like a conversation from the summer, long and about everything. We didn't even have conversations like this when he went to college and everything seemed to fall apart between us. I thought I was over all of this, i am i think but maybe there is that 1 percent hope somewhere in my heart that we'll be back together. I know that i'm not going to get the whole i was wrong in my ways and i can't live life without you speech anytime soon if at all. I guess I'll give up on that. Talking to jared made me feel worse for some reason, it made me realize what I had lost and that I might never have that back again. Maybe I just need time away from talking to him, maybe I don't, I don't know what I want. I'm super confused in this whole situation. I just don't get how someone can just turn their feelings of love towards someone off completely in a blink of an eye. I hope there might be something there, but i doubt it. I guess i just have to settle for being friends. But what if i'm not able to be just friends with him???? I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Argh this is so confusing!!!

It's almost 1 am and I need to go to bed, I love sleep so much!!! But I hate 8 am classes that's what's the killer. Have a wonderful day and remember to always smile, it makes people wonder why you're smiling all the time. G'night

Gatorade: Is it in you??

"These days are changing what lies tomorrow we'll never know, tonight lets live forever so we can hold on to these moments."~Forever Jason Fioto

Today was a horrible terrible awful no good day. I want it just to be over but I know that things that occured today will lead into the following days if not weeks. Recently I have been completely ignored by some certain people, people I share an apartment with. The whole weekend when I was here I was ignored. All I did was lay in my room, not once was I included in anything that they were doing. If they did try to include me it was after the fact of it occuring. After watching a show for awhile and I walk into the living room and they're like "Hey we're watching friends if you want to join us." Makes me say hey how about no you could have asked me first. Maybe it's because these two roomies of mine seem to be very self involved recently. I understand that we all have our times to be self involved and only think about ourselves but don't you feel bad not caring about another person sometimes? Normally I wouldn't stand for this crap but I have had a lot on my mind recently with family issues. So right now I'm going to just sit here and type hardly to vent my anger.

I am sick of a person being the victim in everything. I have many reasons to sit here and act like the victim of things, but do I? NO! I'm sorry but you now have someone in your life and you can't say that nobody will ever care for you. That you just want that touch of some guy, well you've got it and we've all noticed. We've all noticed how you get up early now and love the attention of straightening your hair gets you. The whole being alone on the weekends isn't getting you any where any more. So what?!? I spent the whole weekend ignored in the apartment i think that's a little worse. Yeah so what if your roomie has a boyfriend and you don't see her as much and you miss her. Oh you miss her what about the two other girls in the room next to you that you pretty much ignore all the time. All this is, is someone being very hypocritical and being very shady. I don't even know if I can trust this person like I used to. Maybe it's time for me to move on to the worth while relationships in my life. Maybe the two roomies can be together forever and let the two of us do our own thing.

Thank god I have Jamie here, if I didn't have Jamie as a roomate I think i would really go and kill someone. She is the reason that I haven't just left here. She talks to me and helps me out and I am very greatful to have her with me in my life. She realizes that these things are going down as well. I am able to vent to her about things that would make other people really mad about. This is going to suck when she's gone on Thursday, I'm going to have to fend for myself.

I recently have come into a batch of bad luck, well not bad luck, people being ignorant and not caring for others well being. Yesterday I was near our very heavy and thick door putting on my shoes. There was a crack in the door and one of my roomies comes flying in slamming the door right into me. I swear to god it was going like 40 mph. It hit me in my shoulder and in my head. It was such an intense pain I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there and left. Not once since the incident has she mentioned or asked how I have been feeling. I have had a horrible headache all day, a bump on my head that hurts when anything touches it, my arm is tingly at times and my shoulder hurts when my backpack strap rests on it, but she doesn't ask so she doesn't care. There are boys around here that live across the apartment complex, they're a crazy bunch. At times it's fun and hilarious but at others it is annoying and really pisses me off. tonight was the pissed off nights. I was in my room doing nothing and I start getting harassed i told them to stop. They did for awhile but then when I came to answer the door when they were constantly knocking it, they I mean he opens it and I told him to leave. He wouldn't and grabs me and throws me on the couch my head hit the arm and my neck snapped back and there was a very loud crack. Whiplash and very intense pain, what fun!! It must have been this hilarious thing because bejya erica and putz thought it was awesome, pretty sure I didn't need this crap tonight. I didn't do anything to them at all tonight and look who gets hurt. That's right me. It took Bejya five minutes to come and see if I was okay and i yelled at her and nobody has checked on my yet. What nice friends I have!!!!

What it boils down to is that everyone is pissing me off except for my mom jamie and crumper. So sorry but you probably are pissing me off currently too. Tomorrow is a new day and it sure as hell can't get any worse so it must be better.

sorry so sorry

So I suck and haven't done this thing in awhile. Jared and I aren't together any more and I think it is for the better. Yes maybe things were great when we were together but maybe we're just meant to be friends. I was told that I have foung my BIG from Sex and the City. So Jared is now Big. But I was having a pretty shitty day today and this is what I got from a friend of mine. It definately made my night a lot better.

swmalwys: i love you. thank you for being amazing. thank you for being there for me. thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders aubrey, you are amazing!!!!

Auto response from UNC Socerchic14: If you were homework i'd be doing your right now

UNC Socerchic14: aww thanks
UNC Socerchic14: what's that for?
swmalwys: its cause i love you and you make me smile when im sad and know how to get me not to freak out about things, and i just felt like telling you that you are amazing./



Thanks for the wonderful message i don't think it could have made my day any better. I'm going to try to write more in here being that I need a place to vent!!
Night all