I have a letter to write to miss tara so that is what I am going to do. Less than a month until I'm back in good old wisconsin! I'm excited just as much as you should be : )

Meaningful and fun blog to come soon. right now I just don't have the right frame of mind or time to do it. Sorry kids, come back later

Wow....what a lazy day off. It was needed. Off to work tomorrow.

Yesterday was a rough day....sorry I didn't post wasn't feeling the greatest.

i have the first season of true blood yay. I also love my bestie Jess she is such a trooper dealing with the crazy guys tonight.

I am exhausted and I have another long day tomorrow. Wow my leg is getting bigger and bigger by the day and it's turning pretty colors. I've got a lot to do with little time to do it. Sweet dreams ya'll : )

first time I experienced the true meaning of a club....wow is all I can say. Gotta be up in 6 and half hours peace out homies. I'm ending the bitchassness right now. I'm cutting you off and so what if it's your day soon. You are not special you are not a tiny unique snowflake falling from the sky.

I got to talk to TARA for a few minutes today. It was the pick me up in my rough month that I needed for a few. The good news is that she'll be in Wisconsin when I'm up there for the wonderful Matty McFatty wedding....ahhh so excited.

So you think you can dance

I love this show!!

Don't expect anything and you won't get hurt. I miss my besties back home...it's true and my ankle is pretty big. Time to sleep after closing the store I've gotta open it up tomorrow.....killer

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away

How long have you been in your bedroom?
It's been three days straight with your sheets and your pillows
The clock on the wall’s a reminder of my father in all his entirety
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

I've made up my mind
Took time to think of
Everything I
Could do. It may be hard but I'm trying to comprehend
Where I quit and where I should begin

I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me

Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me.
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

This is becoming a catastrophe

You’re a fake
A product of a world
An average mistake
So commonly made

I've made up my mind
Took time to think of (You’re a fake)
Everything I (A product of a world)
Could do. (An average mistake)It may be hard but I'm trying to comprehend (It may be hard)(So commonly made)

I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
(But it does, and who am I kidding?)
Wake up, you’re a drama queen
Carry on like you’re supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go on.
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it’ll bury me.
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe

You’re a fake
A product of a world
An average mistake
So commonly made

I forgot shoo

So I had a great idea on what to write about for my blog tonight....but I forgot about what it was. Shoot. It's been another late night but at least I don't have to work tomorrow. Jay has officially taken over my laptop full time. It's not even staying in my room....I might just have to give him this one and get a mac : ) time to get some sleep and enjoy my day off tomorrow yay!

My mom is pretty awesome. But my dad is just as cool too. It's been a rough few months and I just happened to have daises waiting for me in my room. Time for bed....

So I have a brother that is going to be going to college at NC-SU in less than a month...that is a scary thought right there. Off to bed gotta work another 8 and half hour shift tomorrow to be followed by an 11 to 7 shift on sunday....oh boy what a weekend

I'm stuck in the middle between going for something that doesn't make sense and something that is safe and comfortable. I don't know what to do. I'm being treated like crap and I'm finally sick of it. I'm standing up for myself and doing what I need to do. It might be hard but you know what that is what life is all about. Shady stuff has been going on and it needs to be discussed IMMEDIATELY.

Never make someone your priority when they only make you an option...motto I need to live by because that is how I'm feeling right now

Leave the pieces when you go..

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair, you know
To just keep me hanging 'round

You say you don't want to hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown?

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

You're not making up your mind
It's killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that...

So yesterday night on my way out I got a wonderful hand written letter from Tara. I'm so happy she's enjoying her job in up state new york and I miss her bunches. I hope I'll be able to see her at some point this summer. Maybe we'll just meet in NYC and call it a day. I'm at Stu and Andrew's place as I type this...two days off and watching Jay should be a great time off.

We The Living....yay!

First impressions get you everywhere
Every time, but what I have found is first words win you wars.
When I'm with you half the time i am in places you'll never know,
For all the reasons you've heard before

This is war

You can't understand what's running
through my head and you can't
understand about half the words that
i said so let me paint a picture instead,
these demons have left me for dead, still i get up
But I'll get out of my head
Help me get out.

And if I'm sitting in silence staring at ghosts, you aught to know because it's
that you can't understand what's running
through my head and you may not understand
about half the words that I said so let me
paint a picture instead, these demons have
left me fore dead, still I'll get out I'll get out of my head
Help me get out

So I'll get down on my knees and I'll beg and give up all of me.

Mmmm John Mayer makes my day amazing

Some of us, We're hardly ever here
The rest of us, we're born to disappear
How do I stop myself from
Being just a number
How will I hold my head
To keep from going under

Down to the wire
I wanted water but
But I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me,testing me

See you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?
I see through, through your love
Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

She never lets me in
Only tell me where’s she’s been
When she’s had too much to drink
I say that I don’t care I just run my hands
Through her dark hair and then I pray to god
You gotta help me fly away

And just...
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces...."

-The Script: Breakeven

i gave blood today....

i want to go to the pound to see if Lucy is okay. But it'll probably break my heart. I miss her and wish she was here. : (

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue
When the stars go blue

Laughing with your pretty mouth
Laughing with your broken eyes
Laughing with your lover's tongue
In a lullaby

I have bug bites all over my legs. I also am exhausted....working 8 hours on your feet isn't something i'm used to.....I miss Lucy a lot

The lights go down in Brooklyn,
As she's walking out the door
Oh and they're lining up like soldiers,
Going off to fight the war
And all the colors look like fireworks,
In skies she knew before

But the nights can't hide the days
Then the tears roll down her face
Oh and the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away"

But the fog just sits like blankets
And it's drowning out the glow
You can hear voices loud and singing out,
A song nobody knows
But to her it sounds like home

But the nights can't hide the days
Then the tears roll down her face
And the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away, from all that I am
Just take me away, from all that I am"

Well the fog just sits like blankets
And it smothers the glow

Oh cause nights can't hide the days
Woah then the tears roll down her face
Oh and the light hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
Oh that the nights can't hide the days
Woah that the tears roll down her face
Oh and the lights hits those eyes, and she's dying to say
"Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.
Just take me away, from all that I am.

heart break....

I'm heart broken....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees, And for a moment you can hardly breathe.

She's gone.......My puppy side kick and baby girl Lucy is gone.......

Went to see my sleep doc. Going to up my medication and no sleep study needs to be done again, YAY! I also went to a movie and catch up time with Thomas. It was much needed even though the movie made both of us cry. It's good when you're able to know that everything you did was okay. Cough meds and my sleep meds are kicking in, that means it's bed time kids.

Not tonight

Really I can handle the kidding around. I'm usually dishing it out as much as I'm taking it but tonight I did NOT need it. And I even asked one of them to have it stop. I was working with people who hate my guts because I'm leaving their department. I am still sick. Oh yeah and the whole giving your dog away isn't really fun either. But no it kept coming, I blocked most of it out until I left the bowling alley. Then the one person who I thought would understand why does the tear down the cheek move after I told the other one to fuck off. Yup that just pushed me over the edge. HE of all people knows the whole situation and should know I feel like shit, I TOLD HIM THIS TODAY. And to pull a move like that is a punk move. So I said fuck you especially you and stormed off. I cried the whole way home. No text message phone call nothing for an apology. Any other night but tonight would have been fine....