*This Just in from Lambeau Field*

Just for you mom! My first game and you were there in spirit <3 <3 <3

Thanksgiving

So this past Thursday was Thanksgiving. Just wanted to say Happy Turkey day to those people who are enjoying it. It's interesting to think that it's a holiday where family and friends get together and think of things we are thankful for. There is a lot of power of taking a second or even a day to consider what we are thankful for. This was something I didn't do on Thursday. I sat at home watching TV all day with Lucy. (no this is not where I want pity or people to feel sorry for me. I have come to accept that fact of being alone on the holiday) But back to thinking about thanks. If we don't forget to be thankful for things, it allows things for us to believe creep in. Things like feeling alone, but it's nothing but lies.

Maybe Thanksgiving is a chance to know what is the truth and say it aloud. In a world that is filled with lies, maybe we need this day. Being thankful reminds us that our story isn't done with yet. There are things out there worth fighting for and living for EaCh AnD e v e r y day. Beauty is always around us and love is always happening.

I was asked to consider these questions for a few seconds....
What do you have to be thankful for?
Who do you love?
Who loves you?
Who needs you?
What are your dreams?
What's worth fighting for?
What's worth running after?

Consider the air in your lungs. It will be gone one day, and these chapters will close. If i had to guess, i would say you're early in your story. There is still a lot of time for hope to happen, for change to find you, for love and beauty and truth and songs you haven't even heard yet.

Take a moment tonight and remember the best of your story. And if it feels like there's too many ugly pages, then please know that you are free to be honest, that you were meant to be honest, that we all need that - we need people and places where we can say those things, where we can begin to understand, where we can begin to let go... It's okay to be honest.

I've been obsessed with The Fray's new single "You Found Me" for the last week, playing it for everyone, making them listen. i think it's the honesty... The song is basically a conversation with God, the things you're not supposed to say:

Guy runs into God and asks Him where the heck He's been.

God says "Ask anything."

He asks "Where were you when everything was falling apart?"

i am full-blown in love with the bridge. All i know is that it's been moving some things around in me. He sings this with urgency:
"Early morning, the city breaks, I've been calling for years and years and years and years and you never left me no messages, you never sent me no letters. You've got some kind of nerve..."

This week i was reminded that i am thankful for the fact that it's okay to be honest, that maybe change starts there.

To answer those questions.
What do you have to be thankful for?

I'm thankful for everyday that I wake up. I am thankful for every single member of my family. For the life I am able to live. I'm thankful for my dogs Sally and Lucy. I'm thankful for my friends who have become family. I'm thankful for the good times and even the bad times. Because without those bad times I wouldn't know or be able to appreciate the good. I'm thankful for everything I've had and will experience in my life.

Who do you love?

I love my mom, my dad, my two little brothers, God, my dogs, my friends, my family, people I barely know, or haven't even met yet.

Who loves you?

My family friends and dogs, as well as some people who I have never even met yet. Of course the big guys upstairs.

Who needs you?

My family friends and Lucy and probably many more

What are your dreams?

To help make a difference in this world, no matter how big or how small. I want my life to mean something when I'm done with it all.

What's worth fighting for?

Family Friends Life Love Happiness and Health

What's worth running after?

Everything

So let me ask you this....
What do you have to be thankful for?
Who do you love?
Who loves you?
Who needs you?
What are your dreams?
What's worth fighting for?
What's worth running after?

Thoughts not of my own.

So I'm stuck on what to write, there are so many things to write about. So I've decided to rely on someone else to say some things that I really like or feel speak what's in my mind. So enjoy. I'll write more tomorrow when I'm doing nothing on thanksgiving.

"The only justice is love. Just let it go. You don't have to write back. You don't have to explain. This is not about being right. There is something true in the song that you can't stop listening to. You don't feel at home anywhere, but you feel at home when Aaron sings that song. Someone calling you a criminal does not make you a criminal, just as someone calling you a hero does not make you a hero. Nobody gets to name you. Find your identity in the one true place. If someone gives you something and then takes it back - that's okay. If someone says something or sees something, and then they don't - it's okay. Do not be like some broken lawyer, always asking for answers, always reaching for rewind. Guilt and regret, those are awful places. You know that. So don't live there. Do not despair. Do not be afraid. Grace is the interesting thing. Hope.

And God must be a pretty big fan of "today", because you keep waking up to it. You have made known your request for a hundred different yesterdays, but the sun keeps rising on this thing that has never been known. Yesterday is dead and over. Wrapped in grace. Those days are grace. You are still alive, and today is the most interesting day. Today is the best place to live.

These things deserve your attention: Your family, your friends, the people you will meet today."


"The building has always come easy - the creative, the words on napkins, the wild open doors. It's easy to always look ahead, to equate success with getting the hell away from where you started. If you're faster than whatever's chasing you, then you never have to pay attention to it. You tell yourself it's okay that the bridges burned. You didn't mean for it to happen, but maybe it's better - I mean, you're not going back, they can't go where you're going.

Or maybe those are lies. Maybe the constant motion is simply a man on the run, a man scared to death of standing still, a man scared to death of what he might find, or what might find him. And maybe the hero's dance is not the run across the burning bridge. Maybe the hero's dance is the pause and the turning to say 'This wasn't meant to burn.' Maybe the leader is the one who looks back and sees something worth fighting for."-Jamie Tworkowski


Eat. Drink. Be Merry. Enjoy your time with your family because I'll be missing mine.

I found god
On the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I Said where you been, he said ask anything
Where were you?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who’s ever known
Who I am, who I’m not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, City breaks
I’ve been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Why’d you have to wait?
To find me, to find me

Let that be enough....

I wish I had what I need

to be on my own

'Cause I feel so defeated

And I'm feeling alone

And It all seems so helpless

And I have no plans

I'm a plane in the sunset

With no where to land

And all I see it could never make me happy

And all my sand castles spend their time collapsing

And I feel stuck

Watching history repeating

Yeah, who am I?

Just a kid who knows she's needy

Let me know that you hear me.

Let me know your touch

Let me know that you love me

and let that be enough.

So life has been very busy, but it's slowing down. My life has been on repeat with the same things happening each day over and over again. Wake up, Lucy, class, work, Lucy, sleep repeat.

I wasn't enjoying my last two months (eek I can't believe it's coming that fast). So I decided that I needed to take time for my puppy, for my friends, but most importantly m y s e l f. What does that mean? It meant dropping down to 17 hours a week at work. It was something that friends and family were saying was necessary, I was not a fan of this option. This was a very hard decision for me to make, I don't like just quiting things, being a failure. But after talking about it and thinking A LOT about it I decided it was the right thing to do.

....

I can tell there is a major difference in my life already and it's only been a week. I have been able to take my car in to get fixed after 3 months of it being junk. My puppy Lucy loves the attention she's getting. My apartment doesn't look like a disaster zone, it's CLEAN. I am able to spend more time on school work (which is the most important thing anyways). I'm getting to hang out and relax with friends who I might NEVER see again. But most important is that I am HaPpY again. Work isn't something that I'm dreading going to, I forgot what it felt like to feel this way about work. I'm glad it's back.

....

At this time next week I will be back in the old stomping grounds of Eau Claire. I'm excited to see old faces and familiar places. I've missed a lot of the people and the places I used to call home. I also will be able to hear the wonderful sounds of Jason Mraz. I'm excited big time. I was starting to put a list together of things I've done in the past 4 and half years while in college, shows I've been to, places I've seen etc. That might be a week's worth of blogs, but something to look forward to.

....

Oh Switchfoot has been on my current list music playing through my ears,(and rental car) especially the best yet album. Check it out, good band, with a great message. (They are on that list of people I've met, seen and heard, a few times actually)

....

Love to you all, and go hug your mom, she'll love it. Every mom deserves random hugs from her kids every once in awhile. (-------mom------) (Mom consider this your virtual hug since I'm 1,600 miles away right now.)

Dear Mr. President...

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized;
women who reached for the ballots;
a President who chose the moon as our new frontier;
and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We want change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics…
they will only grow louder and more dissonant ………..
We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check.
We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America,
there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA;
we will remember that there is something happening in America;
that we are not as divided as our politics suggests;
that we are one people;
we are one nation;
and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea:
Yes We Can.