Holy Guacamole!

So here it goes....Life is complicated right now, there are finals coming up and moving houses. I also have found myself a nannying job but I'm not real sure if just this job is going to get my by for the summer. I think I need to get another one, but where? I've been stretched big time in the God area, I've dealt with hard times and good ones, change is good because I'm growing. GRACE is so amazing. My goodness I have no idea how I got into this again....life was going along great. I was happy with being single and CONTENT for once in my life and BAM! Someone who I didn't even think would be potential comes walking into my life. Maybe it's me and my tendancy to read into things too much but I'm feeling some vibes. Maybe things are the complete opposite of what I think but this intuition is huge on him. I think my remaining silent on my feelings right now might be the best thing. He is the one that should persue me. That reminds me of a Bethany Dillon song...

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

Dang I don't know what to do! I hate this feeling of unknown and uncertainty especially when it comes to this. Should I just wait and see how things go over the summer and start it up next fall?? I think this has to do the way things with Jared and I started and ended. He was so blunt and just straight up told me how he felt right from the start. Almost every guy that I have had in my life has screwed with my mind or my heart, will I ever be able to get over this hurt and trust them?

Trying to find which way is up....

Words can't describe the feelings of my life right now, nothing compared to what people are going through at Virgina tech that keeps being fed to me by my television. It really makes my complaining about the things in my life worthless I guess. This whole killing thing is crazy, why would a person have no feelings towards another human being and be able to point blank execution style, kill over 32 people....32 innocent people!
I can't even think of what it would be like if something like that happened here, we've only got about 5,000 students every single one of us would be affected by this. As I have been told I know almost everyone, it would be horrible to think of my friends or even me being shot and killed at UWGB. How would we go on, finals are coming up. How would students ever be able to come back into that hall and or dorm without reliving and thinking about that day and the tragic events that occurred right where they are walking??
My heart goes out to those who are dealing with the loss of someone. Right now the the police and administration are getting ripped apart and they should be after everyone has been identified and everyone has had time to deal with the grief, not right now, later on in a week, or a month would work. The thing I'm worried about is the crazy people out there who think that they could one up this in a copy cat style and make things even worse.
Something needs to be done on campus here and around the country to make sure the college students like me are safe going to classes and where we are living. What is it going to take for someone to ACTUALLY do something? So go and hug someone you might not have normally hugged today, give that extra smile, let someone know that you care because the events from today definitely show us how short our lives can be.

Hugs, Kisses, and Love to you all!

amazing

So I have been super busy and haven't had time to think on my own much less write a blog sorry but I found this and I love love love it, even though the song sucks big time the words are amazing!


true love will find you in the end
you'll find out just who was your friend
don't be sad i know you will
but don't give up until true love will find you in the end

this is a promise with a catch
only if you're looking will it find you
because true love is searching too
but how will it recognize you unless you step out into the light
but don't give up until true love finds you in the end