I'm venting and I don't care who reads this....

I'm stealing this idea from Kelley, it's something that I have been feeling and hassling with a lot recently....

I thought that college was the time in your life where you are supposed to find your best friends who are going to be with you for the rest of your life. The ones you can see being there for your wedding, being there through the highs AND the lows. Who understand you completely and things just click. The pictures taken that are set in history showing the love everyone has for each other with that flash of the light bulb. The ones you know you are able to hang out with on the weekends without calling because your friends and you know it's going to be the best time when you are all together.

Where is it?

I've been searching but I seem to be lost at sea. Instead of making it there I think the directions got mixed up, definate wrong turn off of I-94. I seem to be trying so hard and get nothing in return...I'm putting myself out there to be let down.

My heart can't take the heart break and pain anymore...

I wonder if my friends really do care about me like they say they do. If so where are they? A phone call would be nice. Where is that best friend that I can go to with anything and not worry about being judged. I see these other groups of friends that I know who have this bond, intentional, care for each other, and spend time togetherness thing. I feel like I am outside of the store window in the cold looking in on something I'm desperatly wanting but seems impossible to attain. Like an amazing expensive dress, or those perfect shoes.

I need friends who are going to conciously love me....NO MATTER WHAT without me even having to think twice about it or asking for that love.

Don't get me wrong have GREAT friends but at times it seems I'm the only one putting the effort forward or I'm all alone in the world. And why am I friends with all the guys, are there no girls out there who care to be my friend? Again I love all my guy friends they're some of the best guy friends a girl could have but sometimes boys don't understand. Why?

This heart of mine is breaking into a million pieces and I'm not sure it's able to be put back together any time soon.