It's always you and my big dreams

I don't know how to put this all into words, except that life sucks. It's getting to me that I'm losing my family for good. Nothing is going to be the way it is right now. I feel like things keep getting worse and as much as I try to make it better it doesn't help. I'm depressed and really just want to crawl in a hole and break down from everything going on in my life. I'm losing the most important thing in my whole life and I don't know if I am going to be able to survive it. I feel trapt here and unable to do anything about it. I feel like I am putting on a smile to make everyone else happy when really I should be focusing on myself, but I can't do that. I need to stop thinking about all of this but it won't happen. Nobody will ever understand what I am going through so I am alone in this pain.....