LOVE THIS

Well I guess that is that...

So I’ve been down here in the south for almost 2 years now. Yes it has seemed much longer than it really has been, but I’ve stayed in touch with almost everyone from college and friends I had in Wisconsin. I found out via facebook tonight that one of the girls who I was roommates with and very close with through out college got engaged…..in October. I’m not sure how to take all of it. I guess I should expected it because my other roommate got married and I didn’t even get an invite to the wedding. Silly me thought it got lost in the mail. Funny thing is, I’m moving back to Wisconsin at some point in the same city as some of them, maybe I won’t tell them and randomly run into them on the street. and ignore them.

All it makes me think is that I have been forgotten about or I am…

f o r g e t t a b l e……

p.s. why are all my friends getting married but me? I feel like I'm the one left out of a huge joke. What if I wanted to get engaged too?? (no there is no potential guy in my life to even thing of marrying or dating, in case you were wondering mom, so I guess I'll be left out of the joke for a long while....)

My childhood best friend got married at the Aubreyland Hotel!!!

My childhood best friend since we were 18 months old, on the left, who got married this weekend. My date, his younger brother Garrett on the right. These guys have been like my family since forever. So happy for you Jaron!

It's kind of funny ever since we were little we talked about being in each other's weddings but having a girl be a best man wouldn't work out too well. We've grown apart over the years but stayed in contact the best we could. I would call him and he would maybe get back to me, typical of him. So I wasn't a part of the wedding party but he got married at MY land. Well not really but ever since I was little when my parents and grand parents took me to Opryland, I would call it Aubreyland instead. (I personally think it works) Even as we were driving the GPS would call it Aubrey land instead of it's real name. So it was kind of nice knowing I indirectly was part of the wedding, even if it wasn't planned that way.

Perspective from November 24th

Tonight was a night that I wasn’t expecting. It was nice and needed thinking about it now. I went back to my old job to pick up the new Kanye West CD. (Since I still technically work for the big blue box I still get my discount, yay!) All of the supervisors I worked with were there as well as 3 managers. After I walked out the door I had a wonderful conversation with my old supervisor. Well wonderful for me, not for him. This is the supervisor that’s job I should have gotten. It was later revealed to me that they regretted and should have chosen me for the job, not him.

We talked for over an hour outside the store on how bad it is. How much he hates his job and the rest of the store hates working there. How he’s looking for any way out. Even if it was a cut in pay and position. It was a sign for me. I needed to hear all of these things that they are going through. How much the job has sucked. I thought, this could have been me! I could be hating my job and getting yelled at every day, worried if I would be fired every day I walked into that building.

While we were talking I had this feeling of being thankful for where I am now. I’ve moved on from the black hole that is sucking the life out of everyone. It made me love my job even more than I do. I may get stressed out because things are not being done the right way, or my boss is stressing out for no reason, stressing me out, BUT I’d take that any day over what it was like at my old job. I AM HAPPY going into work each day. I no longer am in fear of losing my job like everyone is at my old store. I am appreciated for doing things and respected by most of the people I work with. (There is one that doesn’t respect me but I’m over it, and that person.)

Tonight was needed, to appreciate and have an attitude of gratitude for my job now. It’s also nice to laugh in their faces that I ended up in a better place than they did, those who doubted me. So whenever I’m having a bad day, people at work are bothering me, I need to remember this night. This conversation. Because I could have it one billion times worse than what it is. The universe works in crazy ways and tonight it showed me that everything happens for a reason. Always remember that.

My cousin just added me on facebook

(this is from November 4th)

So my dad has 4 siblings, all who have at least 4 kids per sibling. I have avoided the whole being friends with them on facebook for a few reasons.

1) We NEVER have been close. Close as is in physical location or close as a relationship.

2) Last time I saw any of them I was 8 years old, I’m 24 now. Most of them were babies or wouldn’t remember or know me. A lot has changed since I was 8, my haircut being the first thing.

3) My dad’s side of the family has a very hard time communicating with each other. This side of the family just sends out generic christmas cards each year to each other. That’s it. Nothing more. For example, I found out one of my cousins who is my age, got married and had a baby, after the fact from my grandma. This is something you usually share with your family right?

I’m happy in my little bubble of my mom, dad and little brothers. I’m not sure how I’m going to like this whole facebook with extended family thing. Because you know once one cousin adds you, the rest of the family will find out and add you….

HERE COMES AN TON OF OLD POSTS and increase in my bloggage as an update

"Finish every day and be done with it...You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it.....serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The U-Haul showed up today in the driveway. I feel like I've seen this picture before, oh wait I HAVE! Just it was to move down to this state. But now it's for my dad to move back to Madison December 1st. YAY for him getting a job, now it's just my mom, jay and myself living in this huge house. It will be interesting that's for sure. Just have to ride the waves....
Love and hugs to you all!!

I've been MIA on here. Life has been crazy and tonight was one of them. I will write about it later to update those who actual read this....my mom ha. But this is something I came across tonight and figured it fit what I'm running into in life right now. Maybe I'll tattoo it on my arm so I can always remember it.

Be loved. Be known. Love people and know people. Be so brave as to raise a hand for help when you need. Make friends and make sure they know they matter. Be loyal to them and fight for them. Remind them what’s true and invite them to do the same when you forget. If you do some losing or you walk with someone else in their defeat, live with dignity and grace. It is a middle finger to the darkness.

Pressure....

Not only sinus pressure, but pressure to perform OUT OF THIS WORLD at my new job I’ve been at for less than 5 days.

Let’s rewind about 3 pm yesterday (I am about to be off at 4:30 and sick as a dog)…

*ring* *ring*

“Aubrey it’s A. I need you to have everything ready for the store tomorrow by 9:30 am (we open at 10) We sucked at this promotion last week when I wasn’t at the store, if I knew I was going to miss two Fridays, I wouldn’t have booked these flights. So what I need you to do is make sure my boss has pictures of the store (her boss is one of the nine that founded the company I work for, holy hell), we have to have an amazing sales day, and more and more and more things she mentioned. (She’s freaking out on how much she got crap at the company wide gathering in LA this week because of the stores performance last Friday. This freaking out leads to me freaking out.) Aubrey, no pressure but this has to go AMAZINGLY well, this is your time to shine, I know you can do it. (Did I mention, I’ve only been at this job for less than 4 days.) I need you to get balloons and blow a shit ton of them up and put them everywhere (did my boss just say a shit ton, crap I just got side tracked), I mean everywhere. I also need you to go print of 1000 flyers and hand them out to hotels, restaurants, any where possible. I need you to stress to the employees how important tomorrow is for us. I also need you to make sure the signs are ready to go for tomorrow. (Did I mention I only had at this point an hour left in my shift) So go out there and rock it, because we CAN NOT suck tomorrow, we will look terrible if we do. I will talk to you later.” *click*

At this point I feel like I’ve been blind sided by a huge double-decker bus. I have no idea WHAT or HOW I’m supposed to be doing all these things she mentioned. Lack of training plays a role here. So I do everything I can to get things done while at work, I ran to Kinko’s, ran to the big Best Buy, and got things together for the store. I left a few things up to the lead in the store for the rest of the night to be done.

So now it’s 8:30 am, I’ve got a monster energy drink and dayquil in me. I’m rocking out getting ready to open the store. I have an employee show up at 9 who was absolutely USELESS to me on getting this ready, he literally sat on his ass. The lead got one thing done out of the five I asked him to do. I made so many freakin’ balloons, my skin blistered on my fingers where I tied the actual balloons. I was moving so fast because 9:30 deadline, have to make it. After a few mess ups, I did make the deadline. This is only part one, the controllable part.

The sales part was much harder, the mall is a tough place, a uncontrollable place. You never know who you’re going to get in. When it comes to checking someones credit, it makes it even harder. I checked a group of people to see if they could get a phone I think every six people, and each time they had a ridiculously huge deposits and said no.

Thank God for my parents coming in to activate a new line for my little brother. Because of them it started the process of it raining. “When it rains it pours.” I ending up knocking out 7 HUGE sales. This is just me, I’ve got others who are doing the same thing on 2 other registers. This is AMAZING considering yesterday we did 2 phones. I ended up helping a customer an hour past when I was supposed to leave, but I didn’t care. I fought for every dang sale I had and it paid off. Walking out for the day felt so amazing, because I knew I knocked it out of the park.

My manager gets back from her trip tomorrow and it’s my day off, we’ll see how she thinks yesterday went. I do know this, from the pictures I sent she said the store looked amazing. (I think, wait I know, I’m going to kick ass at this new job) Now if you’d excuse me I’m going to pass out from exhaustion and this ridiculous cold.

King of Anything??

So many things I'd say if only I were able but I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by...

Hi My name is ___________and I am a complete and total douche bag. I'm super disappointed in ____. Thought he was a cool dude but when it comes between getting into someone's pants and being your friend, he's going to chose getting in someone's pants. To quote them "and unless the end goal is sexy...i just don't care." I WANT TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS WHAT A D-BAG THIS PERSON IS!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm not the one who's lost with no direction, but you won't ever see. You're so busy makin' maps
with my name on them in all caps. You got the talkin' down just not the listening. And who cares if you disagree, you are not me. Who made you king of anything??

Another one bites the dust.

You know, they say matter could be neither created nor destroyed. But I feel like there’s been this new matter of this fake fucking hate that doesn’t actually exist, except in the people who feel it. So there’s all this negative energy going around and it’s not real. You wouldn’t actually get it if you stood face to face with somebody. You could read about it on your MySpace page. You can hear that it’s out there somewhere. But when you actually go face to face it’s not there because we’re having split personalities now. We have like a internet personality and our loving selves personality. And I just want to tell the internet to go fuck itself because I’m in front of a whole bunch of people who are sending me real love and that’s all that matters. I can’t deal with that much of a multiple people in my life, I can just deal with the people in front of me who are sending me love. In your own way just deal with the love in front of you, don’t deal with that world outside of ether, cause it doesn’t exist. There are people losing sleep over what they think is hate and the person that wrote that shitty little comment on the internet isn’t thinking about it anymore. So just go on the assumption that you’re awesome….

you think that I’ve offended you, well then come on up to me face to face and I’ll give you a high five and a hug. Cause I got an analog heart. This shit don’t have USB, it’s just me. I can’t hook up to 3G, I just got to let it be. You know what I’m saying? It’s a little abstract, I will admit, but my point is, just spend all your time on love, just spend your time on this, just love more. When in doubt, shut your eyes and love. I promise it works, I’ve been trying it for a little while. It’s an awesome little thing to do.