If you trust no one you can't get hurt

My heart won't take this cover up
You left me
And I can't change this
I can never take it back
Now I can't change your mind
You left me
~Congratulations by Blue October~

I don't get it. Why does this seem to be happening to me right now. I'm starting to get really bad migraines and it's right when I'm going to be putting in 28 hours at work and trying to get my finals done. I don't think that it helps I am having a really hard time with a friend of mine. I work with this guy Isaiah and he and I had plans on hanging out last night, watching elf playing some scrabble and other stuff. I have had problems with him keeping his word and lying about things, like meet up with people, and even reasons why he didn't show. Perfect example would be him saying he would come into work and pick up something from me. He didn't and said that he had a brothers night. Come to find out he was with his girlfriend instead, why lie about that stuff. Just tell me the true dummy. Don't lie to me about it, it'll just make things worse. so then when i was in work yesterday when he was working i told him that he better not stand me up again if he does I'm not going to be pleased. He promised and even pinky swore on it. I could have been doing other things last night too. He never showed when he did. To make it worse he didn't even answer his phone at all or even called to tell me he was cancelling. So I'm done with this, I'm pissed and nothing is really going to help out with it. Really makes you feel worthless because someone doesn't even have the decency to call and say they can't make it. So I'm kind of bumming and pissed oh yeah and sick. So Isaiah if you're reading this you've screwed up big time and I've got enough friends who actually call me back and tell the truth so don't expect me to be your friend anymore. Trust is the hardest thing for a person to earn back with me and i have no trust in you what so ever. I guess i have to think of it as his loss right? I'm going to bed and realizing how much my TRUE friends love and care about me.

Save yourself while you can, follow these finals tips!

Da da da DAHHHH It's that wonderful time of year again that all of you college students are looking for. It's my semi-annual finals survival guide for the semester, and let me tell you I did some research just for you guys! this may be the best pep talk yet. (or until next semester)

In the obvious reason of my post, avoiding my finals and massive amounts of papers, I'm giving you all the great chance of hearing the positive side of finals believe me they are good! Finals aren't here yet but for some reason this year professors decided to load on the homework and exams the week before finals as well, what are they crazy?! Do you really think we need to have an exam wednesday then have a final that next tuesday I don't think so!

The best reason of having finals is that once you are done, you never have to do that class again. No more Chem, accounting, social psych, and that dredded history class. No you aren't going to fail the class so stop telling yourself this, you'll do just fine. Quit telling everyone that you are going to especially when the people in your class know you're going to throw off the whole curve, that is if you're lucky to have one.

If you think about it finishing your final and handing it in is the perfect time for you to do something you normally wouldn't or couldn't have done. You could go up to your professor who you really weren't a fan of and dump your hot chocolate all over him and tell him how he was a douche bag for making you take that test the day of the halloween. Can't do it? Then when you turn in the test say here's your answer key. Too weak in the knees still? If you're still too chicken shit to do that just say thanks professor I'm looking forward to your class in the spring next year.(which I have the joy of doing with my exercise physiology professor for next spring) I personally would like to just kick my social psych professor in the baby maker and walk away but that might get me in jail... If you're not willing to do any of that there is always the option of doing your exam in a crayon or even a fun colored sharpie unless it's those scantron test. Hey why not color outside the little circle and see what they're going to do about it. I even found that there is a university that will allow you to throw a pie in your professor's face once you're done with your final for a small price, which all goes to charity of course. Hell why not just do it and save yourself the fee. the whole class would L-O-V-E it!

In desperate times, calls for desperate measures. A way to help with you anxiety and sleep deprivation is a chemical boost. Some are better than others. Even I have resorted back to the good old days of drinking my pop and enjoying my caffeine boost for that hour and a half. That red bull is going to do you a hell of good if you can't stay awake to study your boring crap. Many say stay away from the alcohol this week but I say why not go for it. This quite possibly could lead to the other form of stress reliever, sexual activity. But don't go too overboard with this one it could cause many problems down the road. One or two have been show to help you study a little better because you're relaxed so start getting relaxed.

Finally you can really take the challenge intellectually on finals week. Sure you haven't been to class since the first week and you got at D on your midterms....I don't care. You can learn the entire course with 3 dews and a full 24 hour cram before the test. Just think about this one, remember when you were a freshman and thought you had to go to every class. All the test prep you did was definitely less than 24 hours per class. That means for the rest of the time you did jack shit. So if you really are stuck in this situation you've got time. You can do it, but it might help if you have the notes from someone so you have some sort of idea.
So that's it guys remember study with a buddy if you can then if they are a hot buddy you can go relieve some of your other stresses. Just kidding I don't promote that kind of stuff. Remember Ben and jerry can be you best friend as well as chocolate. Sleep is always a good thing to but remember to set your alarm. With all this being said enjoy the worst week of the semester, you'll make it through like the rest of us. Enjoy your christmas break it's less than a week away.

I want a guy who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me, hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. Someone who would sing to me at random moments, who would let me sleep on their chest. A boy who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me. I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away. Someone who would let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything I said. He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then kiss me a million times. Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh, he would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. He would tell his friends about me and smile when he did it. He would never be afraid to say "I love you" infront of his friends, and we'd argue about silly things then make up. I want a boy that would kiss me at midnight on New Years and count stars with me. Who would stay home with me on a friday night and help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who would tell me I'm beautiful but not too often, who would make me laugh like no one else could. But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart.

you know what i want?
just once i wanna be someone`s
reason for waking up
someone`s reason for
going through another day
just one time i wanna be the
one being wished for
the one who makes a guy say
"i`m so lucky to have her"
but to put it simply..
i wanna mean something to somebody
what they mean to me



I'm accepting applications now if you'd like to apply for this position. Really I highly doubt there are guys like the above out there so if anything prove me wrong please.

That is all....